I'm leaving...

:cry:

 

:cry: seconded.. *snif*

 

Busy downloading the daily dose of kittenkilling pictures, Rose? :wink:

 

bah. i don't even have the time to kill kittens. moving to a new state is alot of fucking work.

 

:roll:

 

:lol:

 

Nice one asshole. You have much to learn in the art of single smiley posts. You just can't do it.

 

besides all of which, i don't kill kittens, i kill puppies.

 

:cry:

 

Maniac? Why are you crying? It just means that there are more kittens for you to kill! :wink:

 

That's right!

P.S. Don't worry Ferret I'll leave some for you.

 

Puppies are so nice though rosie! How can you kill the puppies? By the way, the picture only said "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten." It didn't say anything about females getting to kill dogs.

 

yes, but i love kittens, while puppies are just kind of... enh. so i had a talk with God, and he said he'll kill puppies for me only. cuz i'm special. so there.

 

No way!

Kittens are cute. That's it. At their heart, though, they're just little balls of hate and cruelty. They're sadistic killers wrapped in a cuddly furry package. Have you ever seen the way cats toy with mice as they slowly kill them?

When my fat-ass cat Chunky was still young, he used to bring mice that he'd find into our backyard. He'd sit there with the mouse's head in his mouth. Once the mouse found that "safe place" in his mind and stopped struggling, Chunky would casually flip his head throwing the poor mouse high into the air. Then, just as the mouse was about to hit the ground, Chunky would quickly bat it with his paw, once-twice-three times ninja-style, sending the mouse careening into the plate glass door. This would go on-and-on until Chunky got bored. What followed was what seemed like an hour of my cute little cat batting the helpless mouse from paw to paw, skidding him back and forth across my backyard like he was practicing ball control in a furry soccer drill. When the mouse finally stopped twitching and gave up the ghost, Chunky wouldn't even eat it. He'd just leave it their and lick his paws and watch me as I got rid of the evidence of his horrible crimes.

What a fucker.

Dogs, and especially puppies, on the other hand, love you to death. They have that look in their eyes that just screams "You're my best friend! I love you!", which is important for needy dorks like me.

 

Is that the same look ROC had in his eyes? Or was it more, "You're now my bitch. I'm going to lover you."

 

You just had to bring ROC into this, didn't you?

ROC barely qualified as a dog, let alone a puppy. ROC was a high-level, RPG-type raper-beast that could only be called a "dog" in terms of pure biology. Here's an SAT style analogy to further illustrate:

ROC is to Dog as Mike Tyson is to Human.

 

i don't like needy creatures. they're just so... pathetic is the word i think i'm looking for. just kidding. some people like needy creatures. i, on the other hand, feel this unreasonable desire to boot them across the room... just a matter of preference, really.

 

I love kittens and I love puppies... Unfortunatly, they grow up to be cats and dogs. Well, in the long run, dogs will love you for life, while cats are more cuddly. It depends whether you want a greedy furball curled up at your feet, or a bag of slober that loves you more then life itself.

 

None of my cats have been like that! They've all been exceptionally affectionate, loyal, and need little food because they've also been exceptional mousers. It's good to have a cat around when you live on a small-holding, as it keeps the mice/rats/moles and other pest levels down.

I can't think of any reason to prefer a dog over a cat. Cats rule... 3

 

Dogs rule
Cats drool