The new guys strikes back

The sooner people stop pointing out the holes in Gross' scheme, the sooner we all get to live in his brave new world. And the sooner you'll get your fancy new titles & positions.

 

Hey, as far as I'm concerned, 1.1 billion people is a high number. And those are just the Catholics. You've seen the pie chart as well, so you know that there are more Christians than Muslims or Hebrews or anyone.
The only holes I see in my master plan are the ones to be filled.

 

Don't mind me - I'm just jealous because I haven't been offered a cushy job yet.

 

Hey, you can be my Secretary of Defense!
I don't mind if people find problems with my schemes, just as long as they don't interfere. Besides, if I'm overly biased in my machinations, it's not like I have the means to get anything rolling.

 

I'm better at offense. If you want to get bogged down in a Russian invasion and eventually forced rearwards in a gruelling winter campaign, I'm your field marshal!

 

My only conditions: I retain all media control, I'm taking complete authoritative control of Greenland, Northern Canada, and Siberia, and I want to convert the economy of at least one small country over to a fruit standard, if for no other reason than that would be pretty funny.

In exchange for fulfilling my conditions, I'll lend you some of my new Dolo-Tanks. In case you need a visual, mix one part dolomite with one part tank. Then shake vigorously until everything you don't like dies.

 

I like how you think, Blinky. You've got a deal.

 

Gross, you can have,say, ten thousand ninja-spiders if you want. They'll arrive tomorrow.

Just because I like you ^^ (don't attack Sweden!)

 

Hey, you've got nothing to worry about. Thanks for the spiders! Nothing like a poisonous, eight legged master of ninjitsu to strike fear into the hearts of my enemies.

 

Espescially when they all do the Kage-bunshin no Jutsu, and become a hundred thousand or so (shadow cloning). And you're welcome; just make sure not to mess with Sweden, 'cause then those spiders just might turn on you...

 

Hey, I've got no problems with Sweden or its people, just as long as they keep their hands off of my biscuits.

 

*swipes a biscuit when Gross's back is turned*

 

*puts away box of poisoned biscuits before anyone else decides to steal any*

I think Gross was saving those for someone.

 

As long as it's not cheese, I don't care about it

 

That may hurt your chances of becoming my Secretary of War. See what I did there?

 

No, what?

(And I a: thought the deal was Secretary of Offense; b: am not a true Swede - so I'm not sure the biscuit ban applies to me.) *I think he'll fall for that clever shyster-style argument*

 

Ok, guys, and Gross especially. Offer you genuine Russian Great Secret (to be exported to any city from Moscow, Tverskaya street 49 :roll: ), allowing you to win any war with 1000 war instruments (such as guns, knives etc.), 1000 liters of vodka and -40 C winter. Made in 1413 year, garanty up to 2200. Suggest you will offer me control of province of Russia (From Eastern Prussia to Ural Mountains. Blinky's control of Siberia lasts the same). Sincerely yours.

 

Well, making you the Secretary of War pretty much labels you as the offensive head of the country. You could, in your spare time, erect defensive measures, but I'll just have my Secretary of State do most of it.
As for the biscuits;
[img=http://img60.imageshack.us/img60/1302/biscuitsgf3.th.jpg]
None shall touch the biscuits of Grossenschwaum, save Grossenschwaum himself.
Oh, and, Russia, along with its outlying territories (except for Siberia), is all yours, Sofokl.

 

I guess biscuits would be the primary resource of new era. More ecological comparing to petroleum.