The new guys strikes back

Honestly, I don't mind unless youre a zombie, a fattie, or a goth.
You'd be the trade partner people knew was there, but had no evidence witrh which to support their claims.

 

Well, your society of tanned runners would be great for the first few decades, but after about forty years, you'd have a society plagued with leg problems and skin cancer.

 

Gross, I want you to know, I support you doing my work for me, I mean controlling the masses. Public fear of ejaculation might have some problems after the first generation, however.

If you want, I'm sure I know someone with the cure to skin cancer and a large supply of prosthetic knees.

 

Maybe the mandatory exercise needs to be re-vamped. I don't want a bunch of irate leather sacs complaining about their arthritic knees. If you don't want to run (or can't), you can swim. Of course, the swimming program would mean that just about every neighborhood had an olympic-sized swimming pool...Alright. Elliptical machines and stationary bikes for the masses. If you personally own a pool, or there is already a pool in your neighborhood, you don't get a stationary bike or elliptical machine. Instead, the pool will be converted to an annual swimming annex, and will be available regardless of the weather outside. If you DON'T show up to swim, your absence will be logged either by camera or a licensed attendant. if the pool is too small to accomodate approximately 400 people, another pool will be dug adjacent to the original. This is only the case for the public pool. Also, every pool will be required to be at least 20 feet deep in its deepest end.
Aside from that, 30 minutes is just long enough to start a tan, not get burned.
You're at risk for melanoma regardless of what you do outside. I know this because I am just a tad darker than a caucasian albino.

 

Of course, you could keep your mandatory running/tanning programs and then simply have all adults over the age of 50 ground up into dog feed. Problem solved, and no one will have to waste their money and time feeding and pleasing their conceptors.

 

Interesting thought, Xento. You've earned a place in my cabinet.
You too, Blinky. Unless you're too busy running the whole world, as opposed to just America.

 

And you need someone to scrub your floors, bathe you and rub lotion all over your smooth body dont you Gross?

 

Yes, of course, Telcontar. You can be my Vice President.

 

Wow I was expecting head janitor, but I will take the vice presidentship thankyou.

 

After I've been elected, I will "convince" the people that I am the only leader they shall ever need. After that's taken care of, I shall decree that only those with my blood coursing through their veins (by means of those people being my children or grandchildren, etc.) will be able to inherit the leadership of the country. Of course, the said children will need to be screened. I don't want inept royalty in my wake.

 

You may have to wait a few decades before genetic modification is more advanced before that goal will be a reasonably possibility. Even then, transcapitation may be your best bet.

 

Or I could replace all sperm at every sperm bank with my own.

 

Not very original...

 

Yeah, come to think of it, there was a doctor who did that...
And I just remembered a new episode of family guy in which Peter accidentally destroyed all of the samples at a sperm bank and had to re-fill all of the vials with his own sperm.
So...I guess I could just out-law marriage. Or, I could selectively sterilze the population, and have the confused potential fathers come to a sperm bank, give a sample, and THEN replace their sperm with mine and go artificial on their spouses. Or, I could invent a virus that changes a person's reproductive DNA to something like mine.

 

Yeah, because marriage equals babies and no marriage equals no babies.

 

Yeah, sure, it's totally logical :roll:

 

It does for the super-christians.
I'll be able to cull the herd, as it were. By making it illegal to marry, the super christians will all die, making it so much easier for me to implement my plans of mass insemination.

 

Yeah, because the majority of the population of the world is Christian - "hardcore Christan", at that.