The new guys strikes back

They are all capable of spawning brain hemorhages. There's your similarity.

 

Well I have to admit Gross, watching the one with the guy killing the zombies was well alright. I watched it for 20 minutes and I feel only slightly retarted....

 

Yes, but my overwhelming and irrational fear of zombies put the kaibosh on that pretty damned quick.

 

Oh c'mon who wouldnt love to be placed in a clip with music, where you punch zombies and their bodies explode for 40 minutes?

 

C'mon lets go burn some zzzzombies. It will be fun I promise.

 

And ill get some old rags.

 

I don't see how masturbating will help.

 

Well know. If erveryones ready, here's you guns.
*Handing out a bunch of shotungs*

And here's som ammo

*handing out some shells*

And now, follow me. I know the way.

 

*loads gun to shoot Wobbler in the back*. Masterbating by the way Xento, will help to calm the nerves a little.

 

Hey, if you're like me, masturbation serves a dual purpose; It calms the nerves, and kills everything within a two mile radius of my wang.
Speaking of which, I won't need the gun.

 

I'm curious as to how you managed to discover this and escape with your life.

 

Did I forget to mention that I'm over two miles long?

 

Well, seeing as your ejaculation kills EVERYTHING within that two-mile radius, I'd imagine phallic gangrene would be a problem for you.

 

Not really. You see, my wang is immune to its own secretions. That, and after the smoke has cleared, my team of trusty wang washers gather along the length of my burgeoning meat wand and clean it, using the finest in soaps and sponges. However, since it happens so often, they've been reduced to garden hoses and wash rags. It still works, it just takes a bit longer.

 

They'd sure have to move fast if they stayed outside of the two-mile radius and still managed to clean it before crotch-rot sets in.

You sure are good at slickly changing your story on the fly. Have you considered running for president?

 

I was considering it seriously for a while, but ultimately decided that a country under my guidance would be in great danger.

 

Yeah, in that light, you wouldn't be fit for the job. No REAL president gives a damn about the people they are leading.

 

I can see you as being a fair leader, Gross. I mean no fat chicks, no zombies and all gothics being slaughtered, it would be great.

 

Yeah, but at the current rate of my personal masturbation, I'd need to erect (ha ha) some sort of preserve to house my lethal member. This structure would involve some sort of massive lexan dome to contain the blast. It would cost millions of tax dollars...Though, I'm sure the citizens would be alright with the expenditure as long as it meant I wasn't juicing their neighborhood to hell and back.
Filling newly occupied graves with cement would be mandatory, that's obvious. Making sure everyone either A; Ran for 30 minutes a day or B; were given cheap, scarring liposuction would be required. The way I see it, you can run and look good, or you can laze around and have horrible scars on your fat deposits. Excessive contrasting facial makeup would be outlawed, and a person would be required to spend 30 sun-screen free minutes outside each day. That, and mandatory anti-depressants would be taken by people deemed to be "at risk" for the gothic lifestyle.