Spoo!

This post is a result of my re-found love and obsession of Babylon 5, which started again when i got my first season DVD. This is just some of the clever wit of Babylon 5, and i strongly recommend viewing the show for this, as well as space action, political intrigue, and other awesome things.
B5 has the largest most comprehensive story of any Sci-fi series i've ever seen; all 5 seasons play together like an epic, with only a few filler episodes.

But anyway, here is spoo, a delicacy and quite humorous creature in the B5 universe.

Spoo is/are (the plural of spoo is spoo) small, white, pasty, mealy critters, rather worm-like, and generally regarded as the ugliest animals in the known galaxy by just about every sentient species capable of starflight, with the possible exception of the pak'ma'ra, who would simply recommend a more rigorous program of exercise. They are also generally considered the most delicious food in all of known space, regardless of the individual's biology, almost regardless of species, except for the pak'ma'ra, who like the flavor but generally won't say so simply to be contrary.
Spoo are raised on ranches on worlds with a damp, moist, somewhat chilly climate so that their skin can acquire just the right shade of paleness. Spoo travel in herds, if moving a total of six inches in any given direction in the course of a given year can actually be considered moving. They stay in herds ostensibly for mutual protection, but the reality is that if they weren't propped up against one another, most of them would simply fall down. They do not howl, bark, moo, purr, yap, squeak or speak. Mainly, they sigh. Herds of sighing spoo can reportedly induce unparalleled bouts of depression, which is why most spoo ranchers wear earmuffs even when it's only mildly cold, damp, wet and dreary outside. If there is any life-or-death struggle for dominance within the spoo herd, it has not yet been detected by modern science.

Spoo ranching is one of the least regarded professions known. Little or no skill is required, once you've got a planet with the right climate. You bring in two hundred spoo, plop them down in the middle of your ranch, and go back to the nearby house. Soon you've got more. When it comes time to cull out the ones ready for market (the softest, mealiest, palest, most forlorn-looking spoo of the pack), little physical effort is required since they're incapable of rapid movement without falling over (see above). They do not resist, fight, or whine; they only sigh more loudly. When spoo harvest time comes, the air is full of the sound of whacking and sighing, whacking and sighing. Even an experienced spoo rancher can only harvest for brief periods of a time, due to the increased volume of sighing, which even the sound of whacking cannot altogether erase. (also see above) Some have simply gone mad.

Spoo are the only creatures of which the Interstellar Animal Rights Protection League says, simply, "Kill 'em."

Fresh spoo (served at an optimum temperature of 62-degrees) is served in cubed sections, so that they bear as little resemblence as possible to the animal from which they have just been sliced. Spoo is usually served alongside a chablis, or a white zinfandel.

Further information on the care, feeding, eating and whacking of spoo can be found in the second edition of the Interstellar Guide to Fine Dining.

 

Also!!!

For those of you who have watched the show, what's your favorite episode?

I love the Deconstruction of Falling Stars, the one that goes through the future. I also love Midnight on the Firing Line, the first non-pilot episode, and The Green-Purple Drazi episode in Season Two.

Most of Seasons Three and Four were pretty awesome though. Season Five bit the big one, and things were just warming up in Season One and Two.

 

What the hell is this nonsense? Fuck Babylon 5, why waste your time when you could be watching the Simpson's or Cops.

 

Screw Babylon 5 and the Simpsons and Cops, I'm going to go watch Homicide. The DVD of seasons one and two is coming out soon, doncha know.

 

Screw B5, and the Simpsons, and Cops, and Homicide. Criminal Intent is where it's at, oh yeah! I couldn't possibly be the only one here who thinks Vincent D'Onofrio is the most gorgeous hunk of man-flesh on television today. I've had such great dreams about that man, but not since I suddenly realised he was Edgar in Men in Black, and that other weirdo in The Cell. The horror, the horror.

Anyway, god, of all the B5 topics to dwell on, why SPOO.

 

I could never get into babylon Five, I always prefered Battlestar galactica, ahhh, Crazy Cyclons brighten my day.

 

Vincent D'Onofrio is a great actor, I'll agree with you on that. Even though he's only in half of the movie, he's also great in Full Metal Jacket, one of Kubrick's more easily understood movies.

 

He gained 70 pounds for that movie! He was more attractive as Edgar! Finally, an excuse for me to use the puke smilie.

uke:

I suppose it's a testament to his greatness as a character actor that he can be so pleasant one moment (Criminal Intent, 13th Floor) and so repulsive the next (Full Metal Jacket, Men In Black, The Cell).

 

My post! My beautiful post!!!


Oh well... I tried to impress on you the glory and humor that is B5, but you are all simpletons. Or perhaps b5 is just too much for me to explain...

anyway, the Simpsons rocks, and i would still watch that over B5 most days.
Cops... yes... well, enough said about cops.
I don't know those other shows, but Battlestar Galactica was good for its 80's crappiness/Star Wars rip-off value. There were a few decent episodes in the beginning, but then they got boring or stupid. The Cylons were sweet though! The Scifi channel is reenvisioning it. There are a few changes, like a female Starbuck, but it might be okay. Though B5 tends to harm things it brings back, like B5 Legend of the Rangers, which was horrible, and the last few seasons of Stargate SG-1, which aren't quite as cool as the original showtime ones. Plus, they killed Farscape, so Sci-Fi can suck it!

 

Aww. Chins up, buckaroo.

Actually I love B5. I just needed an excuse to fantasize about Vincent D'Onofrio. I've heard bad things about the quality of the DVDs though, so I haven't bought them. The only DVDs I do have of a TV show, now that I think of it, are of Lexx. I get to watch Nigel Bennett in his leather and lip ring any time I wish!

Well anyway, the Minbari are overrated and Bester is just misunderstood. I think my favorite episode is either the one where the traumatized war veteren thinks he's King Arthur, or the one with the memory-wiped convict in the monastic order. What's that guy's name? He also played Wormtongue in Two Towers. He's great to watch.

 

I loved Lexx, Sci-Fi UK in its ineffable wisdom decided that it should be shown at two in the morning. Bastards.

Cyclons are indeed, the shit. The rest of the series was abysmal, but the Cyclons kept bringin' me back.

 

Hey, a B5 discussion thread, top stuff!

So guys, which is the coolest B5 ship? IMO, the Omega class Destroyer wins hands down.

Regards,
Morden

 

Yeah, that's a cool episode, but I need to correct you on a couple of points.

The man who thinks he's king arthur, (the gunnary officer of the EAS Prometheus, the ship that instigated the Earth-Minbari War) is played by Brit actor Michael York of Logan's run fame. However, he is NOT the chap who played Wormtongue in Two Towers. (I don't know the name of the latter.)

The scene in the episode where he drinks G'Kar under the table until he collapses is classic.

Regards,
Morden

 

What is the name of the class of battleship that they made in the last film? The two that used the vorlon technology. One was called Excalibur but I can't remember the name of the second one. They were nice. However, they looked pretty well identical to the modified B2-class frigate from Star Wars... :/

 

The other ship was called the "Victory" probably after Admiral Nelson's flagship during the Napoleonic Wars. The Victory itself was destroyed after she rammed the control centre of the Shadow Death Cloud in "A Call to Arms".

Hmm, there's quite a lot of difference between the Victory class and the Nebulon B2 frigate. For one, what looks like the rear of the Victory is actually the front of the Nebulon B, and it's missing a third vertical hull section. (It only has the two downwards-diagonal sections.)
In addition, the Victory class is a lot bigger and a lot sleeker.

Regards,
Morden

 

I liked the look of those nice big mean shadowships.

Starts to wonder how a female minebarian would look wearing only a thong.

 

No need to correct me, because that's not what I said. I mentioned two different episodes in my post, one being the Arthur episode as you described and the other being "Passing Through Gethsemane" with whatshisnose playing Brother Edward the memory-wiped convict.

 

Though i love the Centauri, i have to say the Narn ships are the coolest looking, cept for the Vree, and that's just cuz they have the traditional Flying Saucer, which looks like the Arilou in Star Control 2.

Londo is my favorite character by far. For his drinking, humor, accent, and his patriotism. I can relate, though i don't think i am quite as willing to corrupt myself as he is. He's a tragic hero, with a sprinkle of really intense hatred sprinkled in.

 

Beg your pardon! Had Michael York on the brain.

Clothos, Londo's the man, and probably the best character along with G'Kar in the entire series. The two had a unique relationship which changed vividly over the 5 years, and made for some superb encounters.

A fantstic scene is where in series 2 G'Kar thinks that the Narn (his) goverment has come to a settlement with the Centauri on the positioning of a Narn military base and colony, and wants to have a drink with Londo to celebrate.
What G'Kar doesn't know, is that an hour previously, Londo ordered the desturction of the base using the the Shadows BEFORE the pact was signed. The end result is a rather merry G'Kar, drinking Londo's health and apologising for hating him so long. The way Londo's face goes white as he realises the negotiations were successful is one ofthe best scenes in the series.

Regards,
Morden

 

I don't really watch Sci-Fi on TV, because my husband is the driving force behind our television watching. I'm just not a "Hey, it's 5:00 on Tuesday, I HAVE to watch *insert Program Name*". Homicide was a great show, and I'm looking forward to the DVDs. Other shows we have on DVD are The Family Guy (Fucking Funny show), Sports Night, The Prisoner... Ummm I think that's it. Once again, these are all at the impetus of my husband. I LIKE them all, but I read/computer/ watch movies more than I watch TV.
Other shows my husband TIvos that are pretty cool: The Wire, (especially if you liked Homicide, it's also created by David Simon), and umm.. some other cop show which is on summer break now. See how devoted I am, I can't remember what it's called. We also watch Sex & the City. And Futurama, but it's going off the air soon.
So no. I really had nothing to add to the Babylon 5 discussion. If I came across it while channel flipping because I was home sick or something, I would probably watch it. Unless I felt like putting in a movie. There's no such thing as watching the Matrix too many times.