Smuel's good morning extravaganza

ytzk has it. Holding it in can result in an impacted bowel, which can cause injury leading to prolapse. Good Morning.

 

That calculator calculates all wrong, real men don't use toilet paper, we use scalpels!
Good morning.

 

What a novel idea! Why wipe when you can simply cut that shit out? Good Morning.

 

Sure. It is always better than using your hands, right? Oh. I forgot....Good midday.

 

I learnt a valuable lesson last night: when drunk it is not a good idea to confuse someone else's military housing for your brother's military housing and subsequently enter their house at one in the morning. Fortunately he didn't pull an Oscar Pistorius on me and I apologised profusely, so it didn't cause any trouble in the finish. Really it was his fault for not locking his front door, who knows when a random drunk guy and his fiancée are going to try and enter your house? It's a scenario any sane person should be prepared for.

Also, good afternoon.

 

Certainly one should be prepared for that in England, where every housing estate and every house is stamped from the same factory settings.

An old friend of mine, who is Scottish, but was in England at the time, reached critical drunkeness at a party then went to bed. Except it was his friend's parents' bed. He realised his mistake when he was punched in the face.


Crawling into bed with an old couple because you're too drunk to tell which identical house you're in? One star.

 

Well I guess the cars outside the house should have been a pretty good indication to me, but apparently they weren't.

Good morning.

 

Re:

That's just how Scottish people say good morning.

Good morning.

 

I occasionally say Good Morning by delivering a punch to the face. However, it's not punching a face so much as it's sexual congress.

 

Re: Re:

Guide forenuin mate!

 

God morgon, typ.

And to everyone else, good morning.

 

I'm really curious to know what you typed in to get that, Smuel.

Sparkling proto-day.

 

Good Morning! Please endure my lugubrious pedantry.

Several translations later:

Have a nice day! Please let me show off into the darkness.

 

Re:

I assume that you're referring to "God morgon, typ", and that you think I obtained it by typing an English phrase into Google Translate, and you want to know what English phrase I used.

In fact, what I typed to get it was "God morgon, typ".

Good morning.

 

That was a correct assumption. Now, for the obvious follow up: Where did you get that from?

May the time between midnight and lunch be to your pleasure.

 

Doing half 8 to 7 in the lab makes this a comparitively more relaxing night.

 

Re:

You may find this answer to be unsatisfactory, but the truth is, I don't know. It's been about seven years since I last spoke Swedish, and I can't say with certainty whether I ever heard that exact phrase, so it's possible that I remember it from somewhere, or it's possible that I made it up, so to speak. All I can say is that it seemed like an appropriate response.

Good morning.

 

It's a very common phrase among certain individuals, so either.

And now, may you all rot in golden pants!

 

Goedenavond luitjes.

 

Moody Gorning fellas.