Pluto Not a Planet?

That's exactly the same question I ask when I hear news about a failed suicide attempt.

 

What ISN'T appealing about anything called The Red Dwarf?
As for jumping off a cliff, Lemmings already play that card. The Elk don't do it because it would be like cheating off of the dumb kid in math class.

 

Are you saying you haven't ever done that. Best god damn maths result I ever got, and he still gave me his lunch money, unintentionally.

 

Well what does he mean?

 

Like the povo one with no chance of a good job or wealth in the future?

 

Than most of us. And we pay him to stay alive. You see if I was in charge, these kinds of people would already be dead and turned in to dog meat.

 

Surely, the only good dog meat comes from the dog? Or are there dogs on welfare these days?

 

Horses, which are meant to be majestic....yabba yabba are turned in to dog meat. Mans best friend gets the best. Thats why I think we should start giving them dolphin meat....

 

You bastard. I still get the pizza box, right?

 

Dolphins are very fatty. Do you really want your dog to become obese and die of congestive heart failure simply because you want to put the world's smartest cetaceans on the menu?
I'd rather they did without.
Besides, I've heard that certain people have sex with dolphins. I'll be damned if I'll let my dog ingest spunk of any variety.

 

Proof that annoying forum posters are actually a breed of dolphin.

Don't worry, when someone has sex with dolphins, the water will help wash away the sticky evidence.

So we've established that your dog doesn't swallow. Do you give it facials, instead?

 

That's exactly why I said the world's smartest cetaceans, and not the world's smartest sea-faring animal.
As for spunk, I actually know a kid who put peanut butter on his genitals for his dog to lick it off, only to be caught by his parents while in the act.
That's what he gets for having "relations" with his dog, and having doors with no locks.
That being said, I never involve in any sort of sexual activity with my dog. For one, he's male, and for another, he's a completely different species. I'm only in to people. Of course, I did leave myself wide open for some sort of joke, having said what I said while you were present, xento.

 

You mean living and breathing people?
I have funeral directors at the back of my house and they have a big building where they store the dead bodies. I have always wondered how much money I would get if I snuck in, put all of the bodies in to a truck and sold them to a dog food company.

 

Welcome to our annual Dog Food Week, in which every joke somehow turns into a reference to dog food. This week has been brought to you by... Brunchie's Anus Munchies. They look like shit and taste like ass, but they'll keep a starving dog alive.

 

Well gives me a bigger space to spread out in the ground when I die rather than a heap of buried bodies that could go towards dog food.

 

I've already asked why people aren't in dogfood.
According to the foreman that I asked, it's not only morally wrong, but people have a lot of stuff in their bodies that would make dogs ill.