My name on this forum

No longer tapes, buddy. MP3 format. Download them from the Internet under the name "Barney - I love you song" and play them backwards.

 

I think listening to Barny Songs is worst than the torture... What's the torture by the way?

 

"Barney - I Love You" played normally in an endless loop.

 

I remember that I made detailed drawings for something called the "Barney-Slaughter mk. IV" at some point in my youth. I wonder if I still have those.

 

Murphy's Law: If you did something cool when you were younger, proof of it has been irrevocably lost (in a fire/moving house/kept by a teacher/etc).

Well, actually, it's not Murphy's, I've just made it up. But it has happened to me.

 

I lost my whole damn childhood that way. I think...

 

We can call that Bunny's Law.
However, Murphy's Law does hold some clout in it.
Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
Same thing happened to me the last time I made a children's book.
It was a collage involving a snowman, and it taught little kids how to count things they saw (basically it was a math project that would see if ninth graders had learned anything, and were capable of conveying that knowledge in such a way that young children could understand). The teacher liked it so much she kept it as an example for her other classes, and it was actually put into the elementary school library. I have no idea what happened to it after that.

 

Maybe you'd want to visit your old elementary school and check its, oh I don't know, library then?

 

Shut the fuck up, you're not helping.

I'm sorry you lost your book Gross, it must surely be lost beyond all temporal and spacial conception.

 

Be quiet, you whore.
Like I never checked there before.
"Hey, I'm the guy who wrote Mr. Snowman's Dinner Party. Do you know where I could find it?"
"Mr. Snowman's Dinner Party? I'm sorry, someone took that book out during their last year in this school district, and never returned it."
"What was their name?"
"I'm sorry, that's private information, and it's quite illegal to give a minor's information to any unknown adult."
"Ok...thanks anyway."

 

I don't think you did, actually, due to a severe lack of guts derived from fearsome memories of what happened to Al Bundy when he revisited his elementary school library.

 

Me, gutless? That's big talk coming from a potato.
Married with Children was a poor excuse for a show. Also, I never saw that episode, rendering me immune to its counter-productive subliminal messaging.
In short, yes I did go to my elementary school library, and yes some asshat who's at least five years younger than I am has it at his/her house, probably sitting on top of porn they got from a 7-Eleven by bribing a homeless guy.

 

Well, at least you can take some solace from that, what with being a (virtually) published author with an apparently loyal fan base. Many writers would kill for that!

 

I guess if I really wanted, I could write another book for kids...but I grew bored of that concept after only getting 98 out of 100 points for Mr. Snowman.
Of course, I don't think anyone got higher than a 98, but still! It's like my teacher was comparing our work to already established authors in the same field.

 

The title?

Heh.

 

She said the book had too many pages. Normally she'd have taken off 10 points, but I did, "Such a good job."

It was a children's book. What should I have called it?
Master Permafrost's Collation Celebration?

 

"Too many pages" ...??? If I were you I'd award myself a perfect score just for her being that dumb.

As for the title: it would've sounded so much better in Swedish -- Farbror Snögubbe.