I Have Taken A Vow Of Celibacy

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Chunky944, Jul 11, 2004.

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  1. Chunky944

    Chunky944 New Member

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    Chunky944, Jul 11, 2004
    Chunky944, Jul 11, 2004
    #1
    In response to all the females I know being scared of me because they all think that I may like them, I have struck back.
    I, Martin Morris Hartwig, hereby decree that from this day forward I shall take up the vow of celibacy. Therefore I denounce all worldly romances and only try to make friends no matter the temptation.
     
    Chunky944, Jul 11, 2004
    Chunky944, Jul 11, 2004
    #1
  2. MatahChuah

    MatahChuah Active Member

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    MatahChuah, Jul 11, 2004
    MatahChuah, Jul 11, 2004
    #2
    That's just wonderful to know man.
     
    MatahChuah, Jul 11, 2004
    MatahChuah, Jul 11, 2004
    #2
  3. Jarinor

    Jarinor New Member

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    Jarinor, Jul 11, 2004
    Jarinor, Jul 11, 2004
    #3
    They'll never suspect you of raping them now.
     
    Jarinor, Jul 11, 2004
    Jarinor, Jul 11, 2004
    #3
  4. Chunky944

    Chunky944 New Member

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    Chunky944, Jul 11, 2004
    Chunky944, Jul 11, 2004
    #4
    Why do I feel such hatred? Oh thats right, jar has lots of love to give.
    This thread also reeks of sarcasm, and it's not me...
     
    Chunky944, Jul 11, 2004
    Chunky944, Jul 11, 2004
    #4
  5. MatahChuah

    MatahChuah Active Member

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    MatahChuah, Jul 11, 2004
    MatahChuah, Jul 11, 2004
    #5
    Hey man, it's all part of your vow, we're just doing our part. Don't blame the system.
     
    MatahChuah, Jul 11, 2004
    MatahChuah, Jul 11, 2004
    #5
  6. mrnobodie

    mrnobodie New Member

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    mrnobodie, Jul 11, 2004
    mrnobodie, Jul 11, 2004
    #6
    ~giggles~ Morris.
     
    mrnobodie, Jul 11, 2004
    mrnobodie, Jul 11, 2004
    #6
  7. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Dark Elf, Jul 11, 2004
    Dark Elf, Jul 11, 2004
    #7
    Well done Chunks! Pray tell, does this vow also exclude exercises involving your right hand?
     
    Dark Elf, Jul 11, 2004
    Dark Elf, Jul 11, 2004
    #7
  8. DarkUnderlord

    DarkUnderlord Administrator Staff Member

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    DarkUnderlord, Jul 11, 2004
    DarkUnderlord, Jul 11, 2004
    #8
    It won't work. I know what you're doing and it won't work. Women can see through shallow attempts at getting into bed with them. You're on the right track though, lieing blatantly is definately effective. It also helps if you're an outlaw biker.
     
    DarkUnderlord, Jul 11, 2004
    DarkUnderlord, Jul 11, 2004
    #8
  9. gamenut

    gamenut New Member

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    gamenut, Jul 11, 2004
    gamenut, Jul 11, 2004
    #9
    if i ever decide to make a vow of celibacy, someone shoot me :rifle:
     
    gamenut, Jul 11, 2004
    gamenut, Jul 11, 2004
    #9
  10. DEATH AT THE DOOR

    DEATH AT THE DOOR New Member

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    DEATH AT THE DOOR, Jul 11, 2004
    DEATH AT THE DOOR, Jul 11, 2004
    #10
    Okay, but you'd better do it fast.
     
    DEATH AT THE DOOR, Jul 11, 2004
    DEATH AT THE DOOR, Jul 11, 2004
    #10
  11. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Blinky969, Jul 11, 2004
    Blinky969, Jul 11, 2004
    #11
    Chunky, just because you can't get laid doesn't mean you've taken a vow.
     
    Blinky969, Jul 11, 2004
    Blinky969, Jul 11, 2004
    #11
  12. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Dark Elf, Jul 12, 2004
    Dark Elf, Jul 12, 2004
    #12
    You have to admit though, that it could work as an excuse.

    "'Ey Martin, how come that you don't show any interest in girls? Are you playing on the wrong side of the field or what?"

    "No, I've taken this vow to not have sex so I can reach enlightenment!"

    "No SHIT?"

    Of course, it would only work while deceiving the simpleminded. But still!

    Anyway, I think we all, especially those members that are down under, should be grateful that Chunks has decided not to contaminate the gene pool with his funky chromosomes. :)

    EDIT: The way I wrote, one could get the impression that I was in Australia right now. My bad!
     
    Dark Elf, Jul 12, 2004
    Dark Elf, Jul 12, 2004
    #12
  13. Jarinor

    Jarinor New Member

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    Jarinor, Jul 12, 2004
    Jarinor, Jul 12, 2004
    #13
    You speak as though YOU'RE in Australia at the moment DE. On the other hand, I agree with you - the less pollution in the gene pool, the better. I'm sick of all those degenerate fucks ruining it for the rest of us.
     
    Jarinor, Jul 12, 2004
    Jarinor, Jul 12, 2004
    #13
  14. rosenshyne

    rosenshyne New Member

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    rosenshyne, Jul 12, 2004
    rosenshyne, Jul 12, 2004
    #14
    you're confusing concepts, chunky... never having sex isn't celibacy, it's virginity. you need to enter a convent, or something.
     
    rosenshyne, Jul 12, 2004
    rosenshyne, Jul 12, 2004
    #14
  15. MatahChuah

    MatahChuah Active Member

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    MatahChuah, Jul 12, 2004
    MatahChuah, Jul 12, 2004
    #15
    And you'll have to cut an animal in half to complete the covenent. Lots of fun.
     
    MatahChuah, Jul 12, 2004
    MatahChuah, Jul 12, 2004
    #15
  16. Aries Shion

    Aries Shion New Member

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    Aries Shion, Jul 12, 2004
    Aries Shion, Jul 12, 2004
    #16
    The only question I have for you chunk boy is...why?
     
    Aries Shion, Jul 12, 2004
    Aries Shion, Jul 12, 2004
    #16
  17. Icairus

    Icairus New Member

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    Icairus, Jul 13, 2004
    Icairus, Jul 13, 2004
    #17
    Wrong, Rosie.

    Main Entry: cel·i·ba·cy
    Pronunciation: 'se-l&-b&-sE
    Function: noun
    1 : the state of not being married
    2 a : abstention from sexual intercourse b : abstention by vow from marriage

    ain Entry: vir·gin·i·ty
    Pronunciation: (")v&r-'ji-n&-tE
    Function: noun
    Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
    1 : the quality or state of being virgin; especially : MAIDENHOOD
    2 : the unmarried life : CELIBACY, SPINSTERHOOD
     
    Icairus, Jul 13, 2004
    Icairus, Jul 13, 2004
    #17
  18. Aries Shion

    Aries Shion New Member

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    Aries Shion, Jul 13, 2004
    Aries Shion, Jul 13, 2004
    #18
    One of the things I find ironic about modern society is how virginity is considered an anachronism and a social stigma as opossed to a thing to be encouraged in the past.

    I wonder why people care so much about a largely unimportant skin membrane.

    The one relationship where I had sex, I don't remember seeing any blood when the girl was..."devirginized". I did know she was a virgin since she winced in pain. Is there supposed to be blood? If so, how much?
     
    Aries Shion, Jul 13, 2004
    Aries Shion, Jul 13, 2004
    #18
  19. Jarinor

    Jarinor New Member

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    Jarinor, Jul 13, 2004
    Jarinor, Jul 13, 2004
    #19
    So much that if you aren't already at the hospital, you won't get there in time.
     
    Jarinor, Jul 13, 2004
    Jarinor, Jul 13, 2004
    #19
  20. Icairus

    Icairus New Member

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    Icairus, Jul 13, 2004
    Icairus, Jul 13, 2004
    #20
    AS, it is more common for there to be no blood than for there to be.
    Second, whether there is pain and whether or not she is a virgin are totally unrelated things.

    I need to stop listening to Love Line (radio program).

    I do not see your irony in the change of views about virginity. And I doubt they have changed nearly as much as you think they have.
     
    Icairus, Jul 13, 2004
    Icairus, Jul 13, 2004
    #20
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