I Have Taken A Vow Of Celibacy

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Chunky944, Jul 11, 2004.

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  1. Chunky944

    Chunky944 New Member

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    In response to all the females I know being scared of me because they all think that I may like them, I have struck back.
    I, Martin Morris Hartwig, hereby decree that from this day forward I shall take up the vow of celibacy. Therefore I denounce all worldly romances and only try to make friends no matter the temptation.
     
  2. MatahChuah

    MatahChuah New Member

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  3. Jarinor

    Jarinor New Member

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    They'll never suspect you of raping them now.
     
  4. Chunky944

    Chunky944 New Member

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    Why do I feel such hatred? Oh thats right, jar has lots of love to give.
    This thread also reeks of sarcasm, and it's not me...
     
  5. MatahChuah

    MatahChuah New Member

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    Hey man, it's all part of your vow, we're just doing our part. Don't blame the system.
     
  6. mrnobodie

    mrnobodie New Member

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  7. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Well done Chunks! Pray tell, does this vow also exclude exercises involving your right hand?
     
  8. DarkUnderlord

    DarkUnderlord Administrator Staff Member

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    It won't work. I know what you're doing and it won't work. Women can see through shallow attempts at getting into bed with them. You're on the right track though, lieing blatantly is definately effective. It also helps if you're an outlaw biker.
     
  9. gamenut

    gamenut New Member

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    if i ever decide to make a vow of celibacy, someone shoot me :rifle:
     
  10. DEATH AT THE DOOR

    DEATH AT THE DOOR New Member

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  11. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Chunky, just because you can't get laid doesn't mean you've taken a vow.
     
  12. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    You have to admit though, that it could work as an excuse.

    "'Ey Martin, how come that you don't show any interest in girls? Are you playing on the wrong side of the field or what?"

    "No, I've taken this vow to not have sex so I can reach enlightenment!"

    "No SHIT?"

    Of course, it would only work while deceiving the simpleminded. But still!

    Anyway, I think we all, especially those members that are down under, should be grateful that Chunks has decided not to contaminate the gene pool with his funky chromosomes. :)

    EDIT: The way I wrote, one could get the impression that I was in Australia right now. My bad!
     
  13. Jarinor

    Jarinor New Member

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    You speak as though YOU'RE in Australia at the moment DE. On the other hand, I agree with you - the less pollution in the gene pool, the better. I'm sick of all those degenerate fucks ruining it for the rest of us.
     
  14. rosenshyne

    rosenshyne New Member

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    you're confusing concepts, chunky... never having sex isn't celibacy, it's virginity. you need to enter a convent, or something.
     
  15. MatahChuah

    MatahChuah New Member

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    And you'll have to cut an animal in half to complete the covenent. Lots of fun.
     
  16. Aries Shion

    Aries Shion New Member

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    The only question I have for you chunk boy is...why?
     
  17. Icairus

    Icairus New Member

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    Wrong, Rosie.

    Main Entry: cel·i·ba·cy
    Pronunciation: 'se-l&-b&-sE
    Function: noun
    1 : the state of not being married
    2 a : abstention from sexual intercourse b : abstention by vow from marriage

    ain Entry: vir·gin·i·ty
    Pronunciation: (")v&r-'ji-n&-tE
    Function: noun
    Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
    1 : the quality or state of being virgin; especially : MAIDENHOOD
    2 : the unmarried life : CELIBACY, SPINSTERHOOD
     
  18. Aries Shion

    Aries Shion New Member

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    One of the things I find ironic about modern society is how virginity is considered an anachronism and a social stigma as opossed to a thing to be encouraged in the past.

    I wonder why people care so much about a largely unimportant skin membrane.

    The one relationship where I had sex, I don't remember seeing any blood when the girl was..."devirginized". I did know she was a virgin since she winced in pain. Is there supposed to be blood? If so, how much?
     
  19. Jarinor

    Jarinor New Member

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    So much that if you aren't already at the hospital, you won't get there in time.
     
  20. Icairus

    Icairus New Member

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    AS, it is more common for there to be no blood than for there to be.
    Second, whether there is pain and whether or not she is a virgin are totally unrelated things.

    I need to stop listening to Love Line (radio program).

    I do not see your irony in the change of views about virginity. And I doubt they have changed nearly as much as you think they have.
     
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