How evil are boobs anyway?

I had severs disease when i was like 7, its when your tendons grow faster than your bone and it causes great pains in your affected bones, i had it in my right ancle, not fun.
When i was like 7 i was climbing a tree and i tured around to wave and i fell about 2 metres and my face landed on the end of a log.
I've never had any broken bones though, or fillings in my teeth for that matter.

 

I have had no fillings yet in my earlier life I didn't brush my teeth.

 

28 years old. No fillings.

 

Wahah, I'm tame compared to you lot...no broken bones, no really serious injuries...not a lot happening. The only really serious injuries I've had are about 15 severe asthma attacks (I like hospitals now, probably as a result of that. Go figure...), severely pulled muscles up the underside of both forearms, and the inside of one knee (I was riding a scooter across bluestone blocks at the time...another stroke of genius), and I once split my hand right across the palm when I was 3, swinging on my grandfathers' gate...hand meets hinge, squish *shudder*. Another thing, not so much painful as terrifying, was a spate of panic attacks I had last year...as anyone that has had one will tell you, they're absolutely horrible.

But I think the most painful experience (at least, one that I can remember just how painful it was) I've had was having two teeth pulled out. Words cannot express how much I hate dentistry : ).

 

Injury history. Damn. Let's start from when I was two years old. I was crawling up the brick front stoop of my house in New Jersey, and I slipped and fell on my chin, biting my protruding tongue in half. That thing was attached by a mere thread, and a skilled plastic surgeon was still able to re-attach it. I have no trouble speaking to this day, but there is a visible scar. Later that same year, I had a hernia, which was fixed succesfully. Between two and eight nothing serious happened, besides choking on a vitamin. But at eight years old, I fell on a shopping cart, chin first, splitting the flesh and skin from the bone of my lower jaw. When I got up, I felt blood streaming down my neck, and something pulling at my chin. That something was my chin. Again, fixed by plastic surgery. About a year later, I was riding my bike down a steep sidewalk, and hit a protruding section of concrete (the sidewalks in Hasbrouk Heights were in terrible disrepair due to tree roots). This, of course, caused me to fly over the handlebars and land face first in someone's rough concrete driveway about five yards away. I wasn't wearing a helmet, and consequently my forehead, nose, and lips were torn up and embedded with gravel. The main thing, though, is that my front left tooth was broken in half. The dentist took care of that. Between eight and seventeen, there were no more serious injuries, besides various scars and bone bruises incurred from fighting. Then, during a vigorous judo session, I popped my sternum out of joint while flipping a 215-lb Brazilian over my shoulder. Although I knew I was severely injured, I still performed the traditional ending excersise: running around a large room two times with that same Brazilian in a fireman's carry. After wearing an ace bandage around my torso for a week, I was able to lift heavy things and fight again. Then, I got into a head-on collision (my sister at the wheel, damn woman drivers) and my spine was bent to the left, also messing up my pelvis. I had to learn to walk normally again after that injury, and I can still do physical activities with no problem. Since then, I've again only suffered minor injuries from fighting, including the blood vessels in my face bursting from repeated strangulation. Tapping out is weak.
Wow, that's a friggin lot of injuries. If I get any more (probably burns with all the fire-breathing I do), I'll post them here.

 

What the fuck man, thats ridiculous. I'm pretty shocked you have no permanent disabilities from all this.

At least you're living life to its fullest... I guess...

 

It is odd that I am still whole and healthy. My healing factor is quite high, which probably explains it. I almost never get sick. The last time I was sick was a fever over Thanksgiving break, and before that I had strep last Spring. When I had my compounded wisdom teeth removed, I took three coedine (spaced correctly) and then went out that very night. There was no visible swelling or bruising, and I didn't need to take any coedine after that. So of course, I sold the rest to one of my druggy freinds for 38 dollars.

 

Just watch out Sigurd. You will get older. When I was a teenager, I dislocated both my arms and my sternum in various wrestling injuries (oddly I never got hurt in Kung Fu or Aikido). Never took more than two days to heal. No issues for years. But now if I throw a punch that isn't perfectly aimed, my shoulders go out, and I have to do that Lethal Weapon whack it back in thing. And when I do pushups my sternum pops loudly about every five pushups.

 

isnt that the bone that hold your ribs together?

 

at least none of y'all ever have to recover from childbirth. it's been two months, and my pelvis still makes popping sounds when i move...

 

I once had a steel-jawed trap left out for, um, something catching me chickens. The chain on the trap was nailed to a post in the ground with a 16d nail. (For those of you who don't know, that's a big fucking nail)

Weeks went by, with nothing being caught in the trap, and I was out goofing around one day, and spotted the trap. I don't know why I stuck my thumb to the trigger, but I did. *SNAP!! The jaws slapping shut past my knuckle didn't really hurt that bad, but then the pressure from the spring holding the jaws shut started really kicking in. I pulled; No such luck dumbass, you nailed the trap to the post. (With a big fucking nail, remember.) I tried to open the trap by pressing the various releases and catches. Ever tried to free yourself from a trap, when you own hand is caught in it? It don't work.

Luckily, a very girly scream in which I called my wife's name brought her to my side and my rescue.

She thought I was messing around at first.
"Wass wrong?"

"Hhhhheeelp!! Grrrllla-laaarrrlll!"

"Stop wasting my time, jackass!"

"No really, help, dammit!!!! It...it HURTS!!"

"Stupid bastard."

Back door slams.

............insert extreme crushing, burning pain here

Back door opens.

"Hey, you just goofin' around?"

 

Sigurd may be lucky in that he recovers quickly from injuries, but I'm lucky in that I never get them. I somehow always manage to just avert a serious accident (especially when driving). No broken bones or shit for me, just cuts and bruises. I'm amazed that I've come through everything without any injuries, and I've done quite a bit.

My luck will probably run out soon though. I can feel it.

 

"What did you do that for?"
"I didn't see it there"
"It's a four ton truck, Tyrone, it's not as if it's a packet of fucking peanuts, is it?"
"It was at a funny angle"
"It's behind you Tyrone. When you reverse, things come from behind you"

 

*sigh* i love that movie...

 

Since we're talking about injuries...

Last night I dreamt my 7 foot long pet crocodile bit off all the fingers on my left hand because he saw a crocodile on TV devouring a person, and decided it would be a good idea to finally try that out for himself. I woke up screaming and looking at my left hand.

 

Since we're talking about dreams...

Last night I dreamt my 7 foot long shlong was had gone erect and I couldn't help killing people with it because I'd just finished watching "the Last Samurai" and I woke up crying and holding my shlong.

 

This forum has really reached a low point.

 

Sea Dog, have you ever seen Nightmare Campus? your "dream" is eerily reminiscent...