HoL Gate II

I Want Funny!
Greta falls to her knees utterly dumbfounded at the scene before her, Alasse's mad cackle still resounding in her mind. Xiao and Arthgon approach...
Well Xiao approaches forcibly dragging Arthgon along behind her
Arthgon: (After a jab in the ribs) H-hello...(no response) hello?
Xiao: Aww boring.
Prodding Greta with each syllable
Xiao: Make her funny again.
Arthgon: What?!?
Xiao: I want funny!
Arthgon: (Lost for words) Did you...!? What if...!? I'm not that suicidal!
Xiao: (Enjoyed the show too much to back down) Yes you are, so I want funny. Now.

 

Good one. :lol:

 

It's good to see that more people are writing here. I am still wondering about the biography of Wobbler.

 

Tell me to stop if I'm portraying people characters wrong >_>

Two for one sale
Arthgon: I don't want to do this!
Xiao: You're gonna!
Whilst Xiao is still trying to get Arthgon to make 'funny' Vorak arrives, looks at Greta for a couple of moments and then walks up and just flicks her on the nose. The effect is instantaneous
Alasse: You're gonna regret that little man. (unsheathes her sword)
Arthgon:Mummy... thats as big as she is
Vorak just points at a nearby Inn.
Alasse: Urk! (Rigidly marches off and slaughters some hapless guests)
Vorak: (muttering to self) Two for one sale when she dies.
Xiao is pulling Vorak's face down to her level
Xiao: (Awe stricken) Teach me that.

Another day in the workshop - Just put it over there
Rroyo is busy working on his latest contraption when an apprentice comes in.
Apprentice: I got lunch for everyone, sir here's yours.
Rroyo: Just put it over there for now.
A little while later.
Apprentice: I got the spare lens sir.
Rroyo: Just put it over there for now.
Later still.
Apprentice: I've got the offal for that energy theory you wanted testing.
Rroyo: Just put it over there for now.
... Ahem
Apprentice: What should I do with this old doohickey?
Rroyo: Just put it over there for now.
A few moments silence
Apprentice: Sir?
Rroyo: Yes?
Apprentice: Umm could you take a look at this?
The apprentice had piled all of the stuff on top of each other... and it started moving
Rroyo: (Heartily slapping the apprentice on the back) Genius! We'll make an inventor out of you yet m'boy.

 

I don't know about anyone else, but you've gotten Xiao pretty much perfectly! *cackles* And now, because it's been a while since the Mutual Magical Appreciation Society gathered...

It Takes All Kinds
Edwina, Xiao and Vorak are all sitting on a big-ass rock, watching a large group of pissed off orcs stamping around the base of said rock and swearing. Edwina flourishes a hand and one of the bigger orcs suddenly chokes and falls over, stone dead.
Edwina: See? Finger of Death. No mess, and the foolish orcs become even more afraid of my unlimited magical power! (At least toying with the foolish simians is entertaining sometimes...)
Xiao: Well, yeah, I see your point but... *waves a hand, and a fireball takes down about half of the orcs* Better effort-to-destruction ratio with the old-fashioned Fireball, yes?
Edwina: But the collateral damage... (What if the idiots had something valuable?) Not to mention the stench!
Xiao: The collateral damage is what makes it FUN! Besides, it makes Vorak here happy.
Vorak: *waves a hand and all the dead orcs become zombie orcs and attack their still-alive bretheren* Wherever there is collateral damage, there is a use for Mass Animate Dead.
All three laugh as the orcs are swiftly wiped out.
Xiao: *hugs Edwina* See! I told you orc-baiting would cheer you up!

 

Damn You!
A bard currently working at a tavern noticed a rather fetching female thief getting absolutely shitfaced. After his song he decides to approach her.
Bard: Umm are you sure you should be drinking that much?
Thief: B'ger offf I don' care.
Bard: I can't stand to see a pretty face ruin herself like this.
Thief: Not int'rested in guys so b'ger of!
Bard: You're a lesbian?
Thief: No 'm a.... DAMN YOU RROYO!

 

:lol: Love it!

 

Weird Dreams
While they are still on the ship, now it's Magikot turn to have a weird dream.
Magikot wakes up in a room, with three people behind a desk.
Wolfbane: "And you are?"
Magikot:"I am Magikot."
Vorak: "What will you sing for us, Magikot?"
Magikot: "It's great to be green."
Xiao: "Now, begin!"
Magikot sings very terrible.
Xiao: "Stop, please, stop, that's horrible, even a goat can sing better then that."
Vorak:"Sorry, but you are not...wait... you will be never the next pop star."
Wolbane: "No, so goodbye."
Magikot walks out the door, and wakes up in sweat.

 

Sorry I'm having an imagination spaz attack of Magikot being this rabbit.

I think you've just killed me ever being able to use Magikot as a character in this :lol:

I'm traipsing back a little on the references here again

Arthgon's Reminder
Zanza arrives as Greta stumbles back from the inn covered in blood and on the verge of tears.
Zanza: (Jaw dropping) You murderer! Evil hag you killed all those innocent people! I shall slay you in the name of all that is holy!
Arthgon quickly catches Zanza's wrist as he reaches for his sword.
Zanza: What are you doing?
Arthgon: Vorak.
The name of such an evil being simply doesn't register in the mind of Zanza but it somehow realises that the slaughter isn't Greta's fault even if he can't think why.
Zanza: So who is she?
Xiao: Great super-duper wonderous marvelous funny awesome elf girl!!
Vorak had successfully escaped, much to her disappointment and was just venting it in over enthusiasm.
Zanza: Elf? Are you sure? I mean she's...
Arthgon: (Interupts) Don't, just don't.
Zanza: But...
Arthgon: (Cuts in) If you value your life or your sphincter stop that line of thought Right Now.
Zanza naïvely mistakes Arthgon's concern.
Zanza: (Blushing slightly) So she's your... ummm... err...
Arthgon, speechless at the thought and seething with rage, draws his blade with all intent to silence Zanza once and for all.
Yuki: (in the distance) MEATSHIELD!!

 

:rofl:

I'm so glad you joined in, NND!

One Day, One Day
Puppy has been watching the chaos, and occasionally growling at Zanza.
Yuki: *in the distance* MEATSHIELD!
Puppy: Gods damn it! I want to chew his goddamn femur! Why does everyone keep letting him live?!
Xiao: You know, sweetie, there's a whole lot of femurs and ribs and things just over there thanks to our new awesome elf friend!
Puppy: Yeah? *sniffs the air and drools* AWESOME ELF FRIEND! *turns into a wolf and charges into the mess in search of new chewables*

 

"chewables"
*cackle*

 

I'm still avoiding a few characters because I'm a little shaky on how to portray them, also I've found it a little difficult as I still don't know all to much about the world it is set in, the only Baldur's Gate related thing I've ever seen is my cousin playing Dark Alliance. But I have been traipsing the net to try and get more information but most of what I keep getting are non-spoiler walkthroughs, who came up with that idea? Walkthroughs are pretty much plot reveals anyway so why hold back? Laziness maybe, but some go to great lengths to be as spoiler-less as possible... I just don't get it.

I'm running a little dry on ideas right now, but I'm gonna try anyway, here is another Rroyo/Apprentice one.

The Bet
Rroyo is addressing the apprentice.
Rroyo: We've got a new apprentice joining us, so make sure he doesn't touch the...
A blood curdling screams cuts Rroyo short.
Rroyo: (Seamlessly plough on) ...and add one more to the test subject roster. How many of them have we got now?
Apprentice: 58 no wait 9 sir.
Rroyo: How long was that?
Apprentice: 14 seconds sir.
Rroyo: More than 10 you owe me 50 gold pieces.
Apprentice: Damn I didn't think he'd take me up on the bet.

 

:lol:

You've got my character pegged!

 

Ooh, do me, do me!

 

Before your reply, DF, I don't think that was directed at you.

 

Adress please.


Someone had to say it, and since DF had been ruled out...

 

I didn't expect you to take the bait wobbler or I would have included you too.

 

Two of a kind
After the slaughter, the party goes back into the inn.
Arthgon: "So, what do you think about Greta/Alasse?"
Yuki: "She just likes you Arthgon, when you are in and out your Slayers form. You both like unnecessary slaughter and mayhem."
Arthgon: "Well I most say that she has two personalities in one person."
Yuki: “Why, don’t just say that she can do anything about it. You have two personalities as well. You have a normal form and that Slayer Form.”
Xiao: "But, she is “Funny” and you are not.”
Arthgon: “So I am only crazy?”
Puppy: *while chewing on some flesh of an unhappy patron* “Well...who collects ears of fallen enemies?”
Arthgon: “Oh.."

 

Is this ok Yuki?

Arthgon? Arthgon.
The party is currently shopping for supplies for their next adventure, In a shop boasting of rare and obscure magical scrolls and artifacts Yuki is idly browsing the cursed section.
Shop Assistant: May I help you ma'am?
Yuki: ...
The silence had a very threatening aura to it that was about as subtle as a warhammer to the face, which is exactly what it felt like to the Shop Assistant
SA: I..uh.. I-I-I'll just wait at the... the counter then.
Yuki: (Another devastating silence)
Stumbling,crawling and scuttling the Shop assistant high-tails it back to the counter almost running into a pile of scrolls with legs, too frightened to make anything of it he runs and dives behind the counter
SA: (Soliloquy) I'm gonna die! she's going to murder meeee. I need to get her out of here as fast as possible, but how? I could try tha...no, no NO! not my... that Idea is suicide.

Waitaminute, why am I so afraid? She didn't look so tough, I bet I could take her any day. How dare she treat me this way I'll show her!
Regaining his composure he bravely stood up.
SA: AAAHH!
Yuki and the pile of scrolls were standing at the other side of the counter
SA: How may I help you?
Xiao: (Unloading the scrolls onto the counter) I'd like these please, and that. (points to a scroll in a glass case behind the counter)
SA: Sorry but that's not for...
Yuki: (Glares)
SA: Right away ma'am. That will come to 78 milli...
Yuki: (Glare goes from heated to molten)
SA: (Weeping) Absolutely free and may I also give you a complementary 1000 gold pieces.
Once they were outside.
Xiao: You were quiet.
Yuki: Some of my clothes were missing when I woke up this morning.
Xiao: Arthgon?
Yuki: Arthgon.
Yuki was so mad it was beginning to scare even Xiao. but looking down at her brand new scroll of wishing was enough to take her mind off of it... just.



And yes I did just give Xiao a Wishing scroll. I don't think any god in the world would be brave enough to help Arthgon now

 

Very good, I am made of silent rage. :lol: