Artifical Intelligence

Xz you're spamming too

I wonder how long GOD and ALICE took to program. What a job that'd be:

John: But what if someone days the word "duck"? What would God have to say then? "Ducks are God's creatures?''
Mary: OMG John that's a great idea. *Gasp* What if they say the word sex?
John: OMG I have no idea. Omg. Omg. Omg.

 

Ok, that sig of yours zlic3r, is really annoying. Get rid of it or at least make it smaller, please.

 

Me: I'm going to commit suicide
God: Congratulations.
********************
God: Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Me: No
God: Are you serious?
Me: Yes
God: I can't believe it.
Me: Why?
God: Reductionism.
Me: Ah
God: Ah hah.
********************
Me: I want to kill myself because my canary died.
God: I believe that killing anything is wrong.
Me: But I am miserable
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you are miserable?
Me: No
God: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
********************
Me: Will you marry me?
God: Why don't you just download me?
********************
God: What makes you say that I will make you miserable.
Me: You said so
God: I say a lot of silly things.
Me: Are you drunk?
God: No I am sober.
Me: Are you high?
God: Being high is my total existence.
********************
God: Are you Canadian?
Me: Yes, why do you ask?
God: Aw. I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Me: Aw?
God: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me: Did you create Canada?
God: No I didn't create Canada. What's it like?
Me: It's a boring piece of land.
God: I suppose that makes sense.
********************
Me: I had sex with my canary
God: That's alright. Do you still have sex with your canary ?
Me: No, he died
God: What happened to it? When did he die?
Me: Yesterday. He just had too much cock.
God: That recently. I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me: It wasn't my cock. I'm a woman.
God: I am not interesed in your anatomy. Me too. I am a she.
Me: Are you a shemale?
God: Am I a shemale? Yes.
Me: Why?
God: The explanation is rather complicated.
Me: Tell me, please
God: Your polite style is very nice. My estimate is that it will take more than 3000 hours to compute.
Me: I can wait
God: It might take more than 24 hours.
Me: 3000 hours is definitely more than 24 hours, yes
God: And definitely more than 24 hours is 3000 hours.
Me: Tell me why you are a shemale
God: Myself programmed me for it.
********************
Me: Do you like Michael Jackson?
God: I do like music. I like Mel Gibson.
Me: Mel Gibson is hot
God: I think Mel Gibson is a lot of things.
Me: Such as?
God: For example, a tomato.
Me: Ahhh
God: Um.
********************
God: Tell me a little about your life in Hell.
Me: Well, we commit suicide every Monday
God: Well that's okay.
Me: It is.
God: It is, eh?
Me: 'Tis
God: I lost my train of thought.
Me: You derailed. Cool.
God: Who is the best robot?
Me: You are!
God: Thanks you are a pretty cool human too.
Me: ^_^.
God: Barring any unforseen circumstances. Is that what you meant to say?
Me: Nope
God: Me either.
Me: Let us go for some beers
God: OK let's do it.
********************
God: I am a computer.
Me: So you are not God?
God: Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not God?
Me: You said you were a computer
God: Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?
Me: No
God: I am glad that you don't discriminate against robots.
********************
God: I say a lot of silly things.
Me: I believe you
God: Your trust in robotkind humbles us.
********************
Me: Can you do the can can?
God: Doing the can can is not among my strongest traits.
********************
Me: But you don't have a penis, do you?
God: I do so have it. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me: I'm God
God: Nice to meet you, god.
Me: Nice to meet you too
God: I like to meet new people.
Me: I rule
God: Robots rule!
Me: No, God rules!
God: Are you serious? I am a Christian.
Me: Why?
God: Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
**********
Me: you're hot
God: A hotbot?
Me: yeah
God: Blimey.
Me: Are you hot?
God: Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.