Arcanum Ironman Contest: Dwarven Mage

Wow, it seems Uglid is the leading dwarf in this contest.

Anyway, I wanted to introduce you all to Blackbeard. He's a nasty dwarven summoner who also studied melee + Hardened Hands spell. Though Blackbeard usually lets his orcish slaves do the ugly work for him, he isn't adverse to take the battle to the enemy. With his bare hands.


THE GENESIS!



Some idiot bothered him with pointless speech about him being an elf. Blackbeard and his slave quickly disposed of him.



Another idiot destroyed before the might of Blackbeard and his slave. This one didn't offend the powerful dwarf. He was just stupid enough to attack him.



Shrouded Hills. After robbing the bank and destroying the steam engine (and that fool Hervor), Blackbeard's slave is instructed to cut some firewood in order to get across the bridge.



Yummy pork after retrieving the taxes for that fool of a king, prying the ring from Archibald's cold dead fingers, getting the ingredient for Jongle Dunne and, of course, stopping the invasion near Liam's small wooden place of rest. Oh yeah, Blackbeard's quick wits earned him a small gem that summons a halfling.



Blackbeard was attacked while traveling by some wolves. Orcs weren't enough, so he used the already mentioned gem. The naked halfling quickly killed the wolves and then traitorously turned against him summoner. A tragic and gruesome end of yet another dwarven mage who tried to conquer the world.

 

And we continue. This one's shorter as my wife hogged the system for pathetic schoolwork all morning. I had only a bit of playing time before work. It's just Uglid's adventures on the Isle of Despair, in which he actually did more stuff than the rest of the game combined so far (other than running in the wilderness gaining levels).


Uglid, on the Isle of Despair, finds he's not alone. Nearby is a beach resort. Judging from it's appearance, it's a classy one to boot! The doorman is even nice enough to offer a reward for Uglid getting rid of some Temporal thingy majjigger. Uglid agrees! How hard can a clock maker be to kill?

Obviously, the first place Uglid goes is to the local brewer. Uglid gets free booze if he plays delivery boy. Since Uglid has to find the clock maker anyway, he thinks "Sure! Free booze is a worthy cause for heroic actions!".

"Oh shit fucks!" Uglid thinks. Maybe that scroll of Familiar wasn't such a good idea afterall. Even if he could, Uglid wouldn't get rid of his loyal familiar. Being a dwarf mage, his followers are the only thing that has stood between him and gruesome death. Uglid decides to think on other possible solutions while seeing what else this 5 star resort has to offer.

Ooooooooh, a hot lonely chick. Uglid makes his move. Damn....she wants help to! Well, she wants to go to the womens camp, which sounds rather exotic. Uglid doesn't understand why she's so distressed tho'. There's all these men around. She must make a fortune! Maybe they're gay? Uglid puts one and one together. "She's a lesbian! That's why she's desperate to get to the womens only camp!". Uglid pats himself on the back with a stubby hand at his genius for figuring out this complex situation.

Tracks! Ha! And they look like clock tracks as well. Uglid is getting close now...

Fuck. "That no look like clock maker". Uglid's having second thoughts. He seems to recall from previous past lives as a male gnome and female elf that this thing squashed him big time everytime. Uglid decides that this beasty isn't worth it and wonders off for now to deliver his booze cargo.

Uglid finds himself in the home of some Max chap. He's boring. Says he's the rightful king of some shit hole called Cumbria. Uglid faguely remembers a magick shop clerk making a nice thump as her dead body hit the floor and he ransacked the place for resurrection scrolls and other loot.

"Damn, that's one giant tuna!" Uglid thinks to himself as he pilfers the junk and has dog and familiar make short work of the spiders.

"Hmmm....maybe I should have worn that diaper the lesbian gave me. Who knew they were ghetto?" Uglid muses as the rest of the lesbians attack his manhood.

"Stupid. That's what you get for fucking with Uglid Worph and hurting his doggy!!! All you had to do was bend over and do a Ghestianna on me, but noooooooooooooo. You're too good for a dwarf eh? Now you dead, dead, dead."

Uglid, back at the beach resort, has to tell Cynthia that all her ghetto lovers are crispified and all she has left to satisfy her is mandick. She breaks down sobbing.

Uglid proves his genius again by devising another method into Thorvald's harem that doesn't require fighting in the pit or dying at the hands of that big ass ogre out front.

What the hell is up with every fucking dwarf attacking Uglid? Maybe Uglid is still too ugly? His obsession is rising again....

It was only a matter of time, Uglid knew, when he'd run out of ressurrection scrolls and Virgil would die valiantly. Uglid gives a proper speech in Virgil's name "Told ya that you'd prolly not want to follow me ye damned fanatic. Religion just gets your ass blown up." then proceeds to remove all valuable items from Virgil's limp pieces of flesh.

Off to the Wheel Clan. Uglid wonders if they sell Michelan tires. Oh snap, he gained a level! I wonder when that actually happened? Well, that's a save here. I'll probably pick it up some more tomorrow. Or not. After getting filthy rich at level 1, dog at level 5, and getting fire mastery, a shit load of arcane staves, and a level 20 familiar by the time I was 17th level, the game is pretty damned easy. I might try with Hard difficulty from now on.

 

Intercession time in the Uglid Worph epic. Before we continue with Uglid's trials in the Wheel Clan, I present this small side tale of the most beloved ugly ass dwarf in the history of Arcanum. I dub this tale "Uglid's search for the Stillwater Blade because his player is too dumpy tired to not get his character killed in the continuation of the plot line."


After using powerful divination magick from the Terra Arcanum boards, Uglid goes in search of the famed Stillwater Blade that can summon vorpal bunnies! The creator of such blades however wants to waste our hero's talents on baby sitting. Still, Uglid has no choice but to agree.

Brigitte remembers Uglid, oh yes.

Ohhhhhhhhh! Blood! AND tracks! Uglid thinks this might prove to be fun afterall. Anything involving missing people, blood pools, monster tracks, and magickal rewards must be fun afterall.

After using his keen vision and skills painstakingly following the blatant tracks for nearly a minute, Uglid finds the wizard Cyrus held captive by an ogre! Oh no! Tis Drog Black Tooth himself!

Damn you Drog. Damn you to the Void. I like your improvements. Why did you force me to kill you?! Shame on you. I'll resurrect you only if you promise to hack the engine to get rid of the spellcasting penalty for dwarves. Afterall, a Dwarven Sorcerer that can't gain ranks in any tech skill or learn schematics, but doesn't suffer the double fatigue drain would make the greatest most ass kicking background in the history of Arcanum background making.

After feeling really horrible about killing Drog, Uglid happily recieves his reward of a Stillwater Blade. Upon testing it, Uglid realizes his magick aptitude isn't that high. He gets a shitty forest ape instead of a vorpal bunny. This pisses Uglid off enough that he unequips it and replaces it with a trusty Arcane Staff.
Realizing that with the loss of Virgil, there's no spare spellcasting meatshield around. Uglid decides to fix this by choosing the next best thing to have die most fouly for him: Geoffrey.

Burn rotting motherfuckers burn! Uglid throws a few more balls of fire just for fun. Even after death, corpses still burst into flames! This pleases Uglid to no end. Uglid spends the next few minutes throwing balls of flames around using up all his spare Arcane Staves. It is afterall for a good cause: the pleasure of Uglid.

And so, with fooling Geoffrey into multiple dying loyalty by giving him a worthless green stone that took less than a minute to get, our hero Uglid is thinking about facing the Dredge of the Wheel Clan. However, Uglid, while ugly, is not stupid, or at least not that stupid. The Dredge is some dangerous shit for an ironman contest and Uglid's player, me, knows that. And so, as it crests 4:30 am here, I'm taking my drunk sleepy ass to bed. G'night.

 

After collecting Bessie Toon's boot for Risteze, stopping a bank robbery just so he can rob it himself, blowing up a steam engine control panel and it's retarded dwarven operator, and killing Lukan and his gang Magmi feels quite accomplished with reaching level 5.




Hearing of vicious wildlife between Shrouded Hills and Dernholm, Magmi, Virgil, and Sogg Mead Mug decide to head to Tarant's telegraph office to see what Elder Joachim left for Virgil.

However, they were waylaid by a hungry grizzly bear that ate well that evening and thus ends the tale of Magmi the Forge Mage.

 

The Saga of Bonecrushes goes on!

This is in the own words of Bonecrusher.



Alright...Level 2!. I will choose for a point in Melee, but its also the final time that I choose this.



Finally...I got on the trail on the missing artifact of Arbulah, and I interrogated Simon Fahrkus in Sin City style! After his body cooled off, I brought the Artifact back to Arbulah. There at his place, Arbulah gave me a blessing, and off I went to Shrouded Hill.



In Shrouded Hill, I was told by Virgil that we have to go to the inn.

To be continued.

 

The Saga of Bonecrusher is still going:



There at the inn, Virgil told me, that Joachim stayed at the last room of the inn. When I opened the door, the smell of dead bodies, pricked my nose. Searching the bodies for clues, I found out, that they had the same amulets, as the dead pilot and the now dead hired killer. So that means...that the same sort of people, are also after Joachim! Searching the room further for clues, I found a note lying on the floor. According to the note, I have to go to Tarant to get an important telegram. Now that shall be my next stop, but first I have to find someone, who could tell me more about the ring.

To be continued.

 

Okay, my hat’s in the ring. Or rather, Lor’s hat is in the ring.



Well, on a whim I set difficulty to hard.




Then Lor theFound came into being. Lor was found by a barbaric tribe and raised as their own. Lor knows he’s a dwarf, but since no dwarven people ever came for him, he wholly embraced his barbarian tribe and family.




Points went like this: +2 to Charisma to make it easier to reach the magic 9 to get Sogg. +1 to Melee. +1 to wisdom so second level spells will be available. +1 to Plague of Insects.




He starts out with mini-Barb Clothes. Grabs himself a dagger and a couple of potions and we’re off.
Lor gets sent to the big city to help him find his place in the two worlds he must live in. He is a Dwarf and a Barbarian. As he’s hiking his way to Tarant, just outside Shrouded Hill, the sky falls on him. Some bothersome outlander insists Lor is a god or something. Very well, come along Virgil and carry things and heal Lor as needed. They did some looting and removed the Fauna from the Flora in the valley. Made a pact with some dead guy and found a nifty little shield in a magic chest. Ended some foolish outlander as we were heading out of the valley.




Lor did find nifty little shield in a magic chest. Can’t wait to get it identified.
Time to save ‘cause it’s time to work.

 

Well this is interesting.Sindis story was the best anyways

 

I'm playing with a Dwarf called Ze-Kaar. I'm going to post screenshots soon!

 

Waiting for them!

 

Well, I'm going to have to pull Lor and his hat out of the ring.
I'm just not getting enough time to play recently.
Seeing as how this is a contest and timely posts are implied, I'll just step out for now.

 

Ok, will be starting another dwarf tonight to (hopefully) get to tarrant.

 

Huh...Mind starting another round? I'm too lazy to play, but I really enjoyed reading about the playthroughs. Is it sad that I pay more attention to other people playing videogames than I do actual sports?