Be-drunkery

I'm not sure if there was ever a thread like this before, but if so, I haven't seen it.

Post here any funny; disgusting, humiliating, or extreme drunken tales that you've been involved in or have seen yourself. I'll, obviously, go first.


Once, a friend of mine, while at a club, had his drink spiked while having been intensely drunk in the first place. I think he was about 15 or 16 at the time. Luckily, he wasn't robbed or attacked and managed to stumble home safely.

He was woken the next morning by his mother screaming downstairs and then rushing up to his bedroom, thinking he must have died from a drug overdose. Apparently, he'd made it home, shit on his coffee table, and let it drip all down his leg making a trail all the way upstairs to his bedroom, then woke up the next morning in a pile of his own shit!

 

Being drunk enough to want to walk around alone in melbourne, then climbing a small suburban tree. Passing out in said tree only to wake to the sound of the branch braking.

Then falling out of the tree only to walk back around the corner and pass out for the final time on my friends nature strip. I remember nothing afterwards except waking up in the bed.

Oh and being sick in a bucket only to throw its contents at the neighbours dog that wouldn't shut the fuck up. Then falling asleep with my head in another bucket.

Also climbing a barb wire fence and not even realising that it was ripping the crap out of my arm.

Another time I wandered up to an alpaca farm and ended up chatting to a cow.

There have been more than a few occasions.

 

I became a strict tee-totaller after waking up handcuffed to the frame of my worst enemy's bed. We, ahh, don't talk about it if we can help it... *shifty eyes*

 

I once challenged my friends to "hit me as hard as they could" (like Tyler in Fight Club). They did. All three of them.

 

I once passed out on the street after I drank three beers, a whole bottle of red wine, and a half bottle of white wine.

Some years ago we always went to school camp in a converted farmhouse. On one evening we had a dropping (You will be blindfolded and dropped somewhere far from where you came from. After that they will remove your blindfold, and you have to find the way back.) I and a friend of mine had beer, rum, and weed with us. We arrived after many hours back, and I went to my girlfriend's bedroom, to look for my girlfriend. What I have done there, I can not remember anymore. Now the thing is they would not tell me what I have done.

 

If that had been me, I would've said it and been proud of how hilariously epic it was!

 

One day I was drinking Brandy with my other fellow Captains of Industry while discussing such topics as dirigibles and time machines; when I decided to tell a saucy joke about a bridge. One gentlemen guffawed so boisterously that he dropped his monocle into his snifter. Indeed.

 

Yes, I think it's better to know nothing about what actually happened as well.

 

I think one of my drunkest nights was New Year's Eve just passed. I slammed six Captain and cokes into me and chased them with six cans of Heineken while leisurely drinking vodka and Sprite. I got really drunk almost all of sudden and punched my friend's uncle in the face for laughing at the way I walk! Then I somehow convinced my friend's girlfriend to break up with him!

 

My drunkest night ever is the one I have no memory of. Otherwise it wouldn't be my drunkest night ever. I do recall my brother letting me know after I woke up from two days of being passed out with the periodic moments of wakefulness spent spewing built up stomach fluids, that I had drank a full 24 case of Budweiser in under 3 hours while attempting to prove myself, an underage kid with next to no experience drinking, capable of out drinking my brother, who was a seasoned marine at the time. Apparently the moment I stood up to go take a piss I blacked out, crashed through the coffee table, vomitted explosively allover myself while simultaneously soiling myself in a massive smelly puddle. He then proceeded to drag my lifeless corpse up the stairs, undressed me, and bathed me. Despite that, the question that still haunts me is how the hell did I manage to drink that much beer without going to the toilet even once?

 

Hang on. No-one else has commented on this?

 

I was more leaning towards the second part of that sentence!

 

I'm willing to bet there were at least paddels and a ball-gag not mentioned in the post involved.

 

We all noticed, it's just it doesn't surprise anybody that Xiao would say this.

I've never done anything particularly wild while drunk. I was playing Zombie Tag once and did a slide across my neighbour's driveway and tore open my leg, but kept going, but I already told this story on the forum. One time, my friend broke a wall.