Notice how I said "felt" and didn't instantly claim something preposterous like having been simply asleep for 8 weeks. Though I probably misspoke by saying it was the longest dream I've ever had, since technically, people can enter hundreds of sleep patterns per night (dreams last anywhere from a few seconds to 45 minutes), and there's a good chance that this dream did not, in fact, take up most of my REM. There was a study done in around 1995 that said there were lucid dreams where the length of time perceived could be altered by the dreamer. This was a semi-lucid dream, but I was limited by the aspects of my "body" and didn't mind observing any of it, except for the mind-numbing darkness that was the majority of my dream.
However, since the man in your meme was eating, would you like to know of a recipe I've improvised?
you need enough pasta to serve 7 people.
Get 3 pounds of sausage
3 cloves of chopped garlic
1 hot pepper, chopped (not too hot, just a little hotter than a jalapeno)
1/2 teaspoon of salt
teaspoon of basil
1/4 teaspoon of minced onion
1/4 cup of shredded parmesan and cheddar
1/8 ounce fresh basil (or dried ground, if you can't get fresh)
Add oregano and crushed red pepper to taste
Boil some water. Add the salt.
coat a skillet with some olive oil, put it on medium heat.
cut a little more than a third of the sausage into pieces about 1/2 inch thick; you want it to cook at pace with the pasta.
When the water boils, put in the pasta. Add the sausage to the skillet. Turn the sausage as necessary until brown.
While the sausage is cooking, add the marinara to a third burner (in a pot, of course) on medium-low heat, with all of your chosen ingredients; so just dump in your garlic, basil, onion, cheese, oregano, red pepper, slightly hotter pepper, and mix. Make sure to stir it regularly.
After about 10 minutes, the pasta will be done. Drain it and return it to the pot with the heat off.
If your sausage isn't done yet, keep at it. No one likes food-poisoning.
When it IS done, add it to your sauce, stirring some more. Make sure to add the oils from the cooked sausage into the sauce. Unless you don't want to.
Then, simply put your pasta on a plate and dress it with your customized marinara and sausage sauce!
If you're into pasta and sausage, I feel the extra garlic and spice of this marinara really compliments the overall flavor of the meal.
You should have plenty of leftovers if you live alone, and a decent amount if you share your domicile.
I didn't improvise the recipe so much as I simply added extra stuff to boring marinara. So...I guess I could write a recipe on FoodNetwork.com!
I expect it's something to do with cheap rolex watches enlarging his penis while he makes $400,000 an hour working from home.