What would other Arcanum races be like in the sack?

Well I'm not sure how detailed I'm allowed to get... but, I imagine elves would be the best because they've got all this long life to cultivate their sexual energy. Half elves, not as good but still better than humans due to added beauty, gracefulness and magicalness (plus, I have the distinct impression that female elves and halfies would be pleasantly tight) Half-orcs, I'm sure would be the sloppiest. I have a strange fantasy about sleeping with a (if hypothetically such a thing existed) a half orc chick, albeit one whose human side was dominant (and pretty). Half ogre males must be quite well hung! TOO much so, probably!
Gnomes are probably the horniest... halflings probably similar to humans except they're smaller. And, I'm convinced that there ARE no dwarven women, and that when the male dwarves need to breed, since they love earth so much (I mean earth in the dirt and rock sense, not the planet sense) they just hump a hole in the earth and pop, out come some little baby male dwarves, beards intact!

 

You are sick and twisted. Usually, I'd like that...

Why would you want to sleep with a half-orc? Why would you tell us about this? Why speculate on it? Why even introduce the thoughts into our minds?

Please, don't answer the questions...

 

have you tried getting help?

 

Thats nohing my m8 wants an orgy with a group of randy ogres!!!!!!

 

I hate to break the trend of this thread, but that must be one of the greatest posts ever. Don't listen to these people with 142 and 1543 post on this board that still think they are sane. In fact anyone with over 1000 posts has no right to question the sanity of any other.

Back to the topic. I am not too sure about elves. They have low Con and are just too damn skinny. You would think you would break them in half, plus with low con they would not last very long either. Half-elves would probably be the best with their high dex, beauty, and yet has more Con then their Elvin cousins. Now for a real intense night of pleasure I would have to say, if you can find a hot one, go with a half-orc. They have high strength and Con. They can go hard and all night long.

As far as the short buggers that would just feel weird. It would make me feel like a pedophile. Lastly, who would want a dumb green half-ogre anyway?

 

This is getting to graphical for me, im off before I puke, althogh for the record elves would be the best becuase there so dam good lookin!

 

How is that one of the greatest posts ever? He's speculating on the sexual performance of races that have never existed! Not only that, but he's also making his judgements based on certain 'stat's i.e. age. How does age make you a good lover? Oh damn, I'm being sucked into the madness now...

In all honesty, I think this thread should be deleted...

 

Um, I'd like to hump an elf. (A female one)

 

Jarinor, sexual performance is a SKILL. You DEVELOP it. It takes TIME. That's why the age thing. If we lived to be 250 years old, we'd know quite a few tricks of the trade so to speak by the time we were, say, 120 or so. Plus, you are sort of missing the tongue-and-cheek nature of the original post. Yes, I am sick and twisted. Actually, having the capacity for insanity and even perversity and not actually BEING driven crazy by it and kept from being a good, well-adjusted human being is probably a more accurate definition of sanity than is the consensus definition. As for the half-orc thing... well some of the half-orc chicks in the character designer looked pretty damn good to me! (granted, a bit more on the human side, which I already specified, if you'll remember)

 

Colonel Mort, nice to know there's some more open-minded folk around here... but, I'll still have to disagree with you on the elves... after a couple hundred years of practice, I don't think a slightly lower Con. would matter, and I think higher Dex WOULD... and I'm sure if they really existed, not all of them would be all that skinny. Peace out! =)

 

I wholeheartedly approve of this topic.

I don't think elves would make good lovers, and this is why. They're too prudish and hoity-toity. Even though they live for thousands of years, I'd bet that there's not too much experimentation going on. They probably screw at the rate of once every 100 years anyway.

I'd personally go for a nice halfling woman. Imagine the spinners... Awesome. Plus, the furry feet. Always a bonus, that. But I'm biased. I've always been turned on by fat hairy 3 foot tall midgets.

I'd also try a pig fugly ass half-orc woman in bed. Gnarled teeth, odd splotches of spiny hair poking out everywhere. Warty, green skin. Big bonus if she has deep seeded emotional issues due to her appearance. It feels good to be needed in that scary, unhealthy way.

 

Milo... point taken, about the elves, but gotta watch out for generalization... not all elves could be prudish and hoity-toity! I'm sure there would be quite a few "wild" ones. If I had the use of my member for hundreds of years, I guarantee you I would use it better than any human that has ever lived.
About your fugly half-orc fantasy... well my friend, you are more perverted than I am! I am truly humbled. But, I can relate to the part about the deep-seated emotional problems, that is indeed a turn-on! I just couldn't do with the warts. Oozing pus always coming from the skin wouldn't do either. And sorry, I just don't get all that scat stuff, people being turned on by pooing on each other and eating it, like in the European fetish porn sites. I find that repulsive. Call me normal, call me whatever you will. (however, I do not think that if someone spoke about it, it "should be deleted" like someone here was saying about my original post. If you're easily offended, you would probably want to avoid the topic to begin with!)
by the way, for those of you who seemed grossed out by the half-orc thing... remember that (since we ARE speaking hypothetically and fantastically in Arcanum game terms) a half-orc can have a beauty score of up to 18! Milo, what beauty score would be qualified as "fugly"? 4? 3?
I am really enjoying this so far, even though I am losing the argument on the elf issue

 

that no dwarven woman thing i say is wrong.
my theory.
all dwarfs are born as male. while they are young and strong they do there mining and fighting and what ever else they get up too. when they near there older age and become less powerful and slower of mind etc something happens too them. a transfermation. they become what is similar to a woman. they stay in this form for a few years just for the purpose to give birth to a new bouncing boy and then they die. during or after the birth who knows. hmmmm. maybe they become the baby.

elves seem too uptight. now dark elves are probably nasty. giggidy giggidy.

halflings and gnomes. youve heard the stories about a 3 foot woman or man being the perfect size. while they are servicing you, you have somewhere to rest your beer. oh right.

 

I can honsetly say that this is the most amusing post I've seen for a while. Because none of us can get sex, yall go off and debate the sexual prowess of fictional characters? Not only that, but you do it mathematically? Har har har. I'm endlessly amused!

But really it hardly matters to SOME of us, as there are no gay guys in arcanum. Sigh. Well, except apparently the dwarves... ech...

 

The fact that some of you are taking this seriously is the sick part...

 

those who can talk about it are good at it.
or is it the years of practice. oh now thats taken it to another level.
dont be afraid of what god made you.

i never mention orcs and ogres.
orcs are the classic last resort race im sure.
ogres seem to be like lenny(i think thats the name) out of shane. to dumb to real know whats going on. orcs no doubt take advantage of them

 

I think you mean Lenny from "of Mice and Men".

 

why yes. yes i did. i was thinking of some bill hicks thing at the time. there both similar in a way but not really at all.