What little things bug you?

Hahaa, I don't care about pet peeves, I'm talking about insects and other little monsters who share your space.

This is something i find more engaging than history and culture, yet it rarely appears in books or blogs. What little life forms proliferate where you live?

For instance, I have a lot of millipedes in my suburban flat in south australia. It's a different story from where I used to live in the subtropics. The cockroaches are rare, and kind of armadillo shaped, squat and segmented. The spiders are small, with mostly wolf spiders, unfamiliar hunting species and the odd red back. The ants are mostly familiar, with two small, black varieties herding aphids and harvesting catfood, but a large, black species opened a new nest this spring. I've not encountered them before, but they seem docile enough. And mosquitoes, but a temperate species, not too big nor vicious nor infectious.

Apart from that, the magpies tend to own the block in the daytime. Three or four cats rule the night and a fat blue tongue lizard family live under the rocks and in the drains. I have not seen any snakes yet, thankfully, and I've not seen a single frog.

I'm sure you're all riveted, but I won't go into the soil or the climate.

How about Sweden or North America? What bugs you?

 

What are the most revolting bugs? Shield bugs, silverfish, cockroaches, ants, termites, daddy long legs, any spiders at all since I'm not sure what a brown recluse looks like compared to other spiders.

On the other side of things cicada's in Virginia and Maryland get absolutely enormous and I've had them battered and fried in oil. They were pretty good, definitely very meaty compared to what you might expect from an insect.

 

Spiders.

 

Silverfish are the worst. They're fast, disgusting and breed like, well, bugs. They've occupied several parts of my apartment already (bathroom, wardrobe) and they keep trying to invade my kitchen. It almost feels like divine retribution for not clearing away the filth in my home, as no matter how hard I try there's no getting rid of them. Yesterday I found two bastards (almost 10 cm long, I tell you) in my coffeemaker.

Got any tips as for how to rid myself of this plague? I don't think I've hated anything this much before.

 

Oh no not the bees, not the bees, ahhhhhhh, oh no my eyes, my eyes ahhhhhhh, ahhhhhruhh!

But seriously, I hate wasps. They're one species that I genuinely wouldn't mind being extinct. My dad told me in NZ because of their more or less constant temperate climate some wasp colonies never stop growing - leading to weary travelers dying when they want to take a leak in the wilderness by being stung by tens of thousands of the fuckers. Doesn't sound like a great way to go.

 

Q. What invertebrates live near your home, HoL?

A. Icky bugs are icky.

Okay, I guess that's an answer.

I'm quite fond of spiders because they kill snakes, and I'm quite fond of wasps because they kill spiders.

But I was just wondering about your regional biodiversity, not your qualms.

 

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That must be a very local phenomenon. If I found a Swedish spider taking down, well, anything of notice, I'd be amazed. They DO take care of the mosquitoes, though, which I guess would be my number one nuisance.

 

When you stop having volcanoes for an epoch and nutrients are washed to sea, evolution favours cold blooded venom as the most energy efficient strategy.

When every creature has a deadly venom, the winner is determined by mobility.

Web spinning spiders frequently eat snakes here, but more often wasps eat spiders. Well, they paralyse them and bury them alive with their eggs.

In either case, it is a spectacular fight but hopeless for whichever one is stuck on the ground.

Hm. It occurs to me that Australia also selects for paying close attention to these little things. It would certainly be my first advice to any tourists: watch your step, literally.

 

Louisiana is home to all sorts of unpleasant creepy-crawlies, but if I have an archenemy among them it is the damnable fire ant. These tiny bastards will sting the piss outta you, and they're everywhere. Repeated exposure to their venom has caused me to become more sensitive to it over time; now, instead of a tiny pustule, their stings cause a swollen lump that stings for a while and itches for days.

 

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In an unfortunate incident where one wasn't watching their step these ants are an absolute nightmare but I've always found them easy to avoid as they advertise themselves very obviously. The only way I'd imagine they'd become a significant nuisance is if they had a hive under your house, or somehow got into a building's septic tank or foundation. Usually some poison, or some lighter fluid and a shovel are enough to eradicate their mounds.

Holy f I can't believe I didn't mention how deathly afraid I am of wasps. I literally jump when I see them. I guess I didn't mention them because I'm not generally disgusted by things I am forced to respect due to fear of receiving personal harm. My policy for dealing with wasps is to run, find a shoe, return, and exterminate.

 

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I've learned not to wear flipflops to picnics, or anywhere else I may find myself standing around in a grassy area, as I invariably end up with ant bites on my toes. My first taste of fire ant venom was during basic training in South Carolina. Lots of time spent rolling, crawling, and pushing on the sandy, ant-infested soil. Nothing like being caught between an angry drill sergeant and a pile of angry fire ants.

 

One of the many many benefits of living in the UK is that our wildlife is almost completely benign. About the worst thing that can happen is that you get stung by a bee or wasp. Our spiders are all small and non-venomous. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of spider would be capable of taking down a snake. I mean... what? Are you sure you aren't getting confused because you just watched Spiderman defeat the Lizard?

 

So many many benefits.

England sound like an awesome place for women and cowards.

For the record, it only takes a tiny little spider, and yes, I'm quite sure, thankyou.

 

Aren't you forgetting the False Widows?!?! They're going to destroy all our limbs!

 

P.S., http://io9.com/5903588/this-photo-of-a-spider-eating-a-15+foot+long-will-burn-into-your-brain

God created [strike]Arrakis[/strike] Australia to train the faithful.

 

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Given that Jojobobo lives here, I suspect it's not so great for women.

 

What do you mean, it's great for women who liked perverse masked strangers making unusual demands of them?

 

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Ants are my very favourite kind of monster. I've never been bitten by snakes or spiders, only the dreaded paper wasp. However, I still like wasps because I've had ant bites which are much, much worse.

We've had a recent influx of fire ants, but I've never been stung by them. There's a common medium sized green ant that stings with its mandibles, and they cause a slow, creeping systemic sting which makes your lymph nodes sing. I once rolled in a paddock with about six inches of flood water, only to find that the water was teeming with panicking green ants, and I'd been bitten all over a thousand times at once. I cried like a baby for some time, although I was ten at the time.

But the worst is the mighty jumping ant, myrmecia nigrocinta. I have many amusing stories of people who underestimated them, but only ever once. Many people turn and run, maybe to return with fire. The first time i was stung (they have a stinger like a wasp) i double and triple checked for the snake fang marks i couldn't believe the agony in my ankle. The great thing about them is their Kung fu. They flip and jump in packs like you wouldn't believe, and they're fearless. Also, they climb trees and they're nearly an inch long.

In conclusion I'd like to welcome our insect overlords and remind them that, as a local celebrity, I can help to recruit others to labour in their underground sugar mines.

 

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The Chinese have adapted an old and tested method to handle wasps: flamethrowers.

Unless you're Drog, you might as well jump one minute into the video. Also, since you're most likely wondering: it's safe for work.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=91c_1343317937