What a week...

I figured I could post this here, it's pretty heavy and I trust you guys will have positive shit to say, or at least bring a little humor to my otherwise shitty week.

My friend killed himself late this friday night/saturday morning, I heard the news when I was at a concert and I just couldn't believe it, the guy wasn't one you'd expect to do something like that. I didn't believe it at the time, I thought it was just someone spreading a rumor then when I came into school on Monday morning, a bunch of people were just gathered around his parking space and nobody was saying shit. And it just hit me.

The rest of the day was pretty shitty too. Our whole grade just got to mill around the Gym where they had a picture of the guy surrounded by some candles. Everyone was just in a real shitty mood and people were freaking out everywhere.

Around third period different people had written some things that they wanted to say about the kid so they got the mic and we did that for about a half an hour. There they also confirmed it was a suicide and that he had taken a whole bottle of Tylenol and some other pain killers. Which had to have made for a pretty bad death.

The guy sat at the lunch table next to ours, about a yard away from me, so I couldn't eat at all, I just skipped out and sat on the stairs by the snack machines for awhile. My ex girlfriend of about a year came over and told me that the kid had tried to call her cell-phone a few times that night, he apparently tried to call like ten different people to get ahold of them, but nobody answered or they were too fucked up to really get the meaning of what he was saying. I hadn't spoken to her in about a week and she broke down into tears and told me she still loved me, then cried on me for about five minutes. I don't really know what to make of that, she's taking the whole thing pretty hard, even started smoking.
We then had to sit out the last two periods in class, which was hell. Nobody said shit the whole time. The teachers tried, but nobody felt like doing anything.

We got off of school today to attend the funeral if we wanted to. The worst was seeing his family, his brother is about 11 or 12 and took it especially hard.

The whole situation is pretty fucked and I don't know how to make heads or tails of anything. Nobody knows why he did it, and the note he left was too scrawled to get anything out of it.

Worst of all some pricks made a live journal mocking the poor kid, it's some pretty twisted shit, and a good deal of people want to find the people behind it and whip their ass, but I don't know that they'll ever confirm who made it.

I'm just glad school's almost out, and that the weekend's not too far off either. Lord knows I need a drink.

 

I did have a big post with cutting comments lined up, but I think I'll just have this instead:

Unfortunately for you, I don't, and I came very close to making a post similar to my response to YeaYea's suicide thread. I figured you didn't want to hear my thoughts on the subject, so I won't make them public.

If by humour you mean me ripping you to emotional shreds and then laughing, I can do that for you .

 

...

That really sucks. There was a girl that died in my class in the 8th grade, and we hadn't been very friendly or anything, but it still fucked me up inside when she died (she fell off a speedboat or something and she got hit in the head with the propeller.) I don't know what it would feel like to have a close friend do this, but I'm sure it would really fuck me up. Whenever I think about stuff like this it always reminds me of the song "Jean is Dead" by the Descendants, which is about... you'll never guess... this guy venting, and dealing with the suicide of a close friend. That song made me cry the first time I heard it, but anyway, I'm just rambling. Its really tragic that no one could communicate with him over the phone.

This kind of thing is something to learn from though, the hardest experiences of our lives will always be the most defining, so look at what he did, why he did it, and try to learn from this as best you can.

After getting fucking drunk of course, thats the first thing I would do.

 

I didn't mention this for fear of getting shredded by Jar, but since we seem to be having a morbid thread, I'll post it: fairly recently a student at Cresent School (k-12) walked into class, and shot himself. That student was Joe Rodgers, 13, who had an older brother whom I was a close friend with (his name escapes my mind, I haven't seen him since 2nd grade) until I moved at the end of 2nd grade. We haven't had anyone die yet this year, but we did have one student beaten until he had 17 broken bones, and bruises covering a good 3/4ths of his body. The year my sister graduated 8-10 students died from car accidents, all within about a 3-4 week period, it was really sad.

 

Your school is fucked up, man.

EEB, that really sucks. At least you'll get your girlfriend back over it.

 

Don't hold yourself back on my accord, I'm actually curious to hear what you have to say now. I think suicide is fucked up, and in my opinion, even though that guy was my friend he's lucky he had a Christian burial, and was allowed to be buried in the cemetary. Had we been a few decades in the past I don't think he'd have had the honor.

Twilight, what the fuck did that kid do to warrent a beating of that degree? Was it just one guy doing the beating, or what?

 

can i jump on the sad people bandwagon?

back in my junior year the class president, her boyfriend(the quarterback), and the head cheerleader flipped their car two weeks before prom. all three were actually those genuinely nice people that are friends with everybody, no matter who you are. only the class pres survived, with two broken legs and a 2 month coma. it was pretty crappy, all things considered.

so, sorry bout your friend, dude. suicide is selfish.

 

Thats great, rosie. Bashing on a death man. If he decided to take that fatal choice, It was probably from a severe depression. That what I really hate about some people...it always is me, me, me and me. Oh poor me, why did he do this to me? At least EEB is trying to understand what drove his poor friend to that point. Instead of focusing on how bad you feel about your friend dying, go ahead and offer your support to the smaller brother. Try to understand what killed your friend and maybe you'll be able to prevent a repeat with your other friends. Depression is pretty widespread in this modern age.

 

It really only would have worked if it was one of the first few posts, and the sympathy brigade hadn't formed up in your honours.

But personally, I think your friend was weak for committing suicide, your entire class is made of morons for taking it so hard, and there were many morbid comedy opportunities to be had by the people who didn't answer their phones when at the funeral (such as "Yeah, he tried to call me on Friday night, but I couldn't be bothered answering my phone...any idea what he wanted to say to me? Reckon he'll still make [insert suitable activity here] this weekend?").

But as I said, it wouldn't work now. That was the general gist of it though. Just imagine me making really harsh comments and semi-jokes at all the several times per paragraph, and you'll get the idea of what I was going to write.

 

I don't think suicide or (real)depression is selfish but that fake shit that's all the rage with the youngin's these days pisses me off. I think it's selfish for people to think of their pain at the suicidee's death and call him/her selfish. One thing I really hate are people who think they are depressed because they choose not to see the better things or atleast the things that are better than other people's.

I think your ex is using you as a stress cushion or an intellectual whore if you will. It's temporary and only means something in these circumstances.
Aslong as your human your grief will dissipate and you'll forget. If you want to milk the situation while it lasts. Take adavantage of your ex, get out of work, get sympathy and maybe even sympathy sex.

 

That just made me of Smith from the Matrix making copying himself and the the copies would make more copies and some would kill themselves until it turned into one mass suicede and then...

 

Mere days before I joined this forum my friend flipped his Toyota Matrix over with himself, two of my friends, and I in it. There was no alcohol involved, no drugs etc, just me sleeping in the backseat and my three buddies having a fistfight like a bunch of ass holes. My friend swerved and spun out, and THEN I woke up, and holy shit we'respinning in the middle of the street, and we go 540 degrees and then hit the curb facing backwards, going like 30 miles an hour sideways. Then we flipped onto the roof and slid about 10 feet. Thankfully none of us were injured by anything other than broken glass. I took my seat belt off and we got out of the 2 doors that werent totally smashed, and after I realized none of my friends were dead, or even injured (I was pretty fucking scared that the two guys in the front seat had a pair of broken necks) I just started laughing my ass off, beause my friend had smashed up his leased car, and it was totally his fault in every way.

 

The kid who got beaten got attacked by a kid out of a local "gang," who he managed to scare off after a good hit in the face. The kid ran off to the rest of his "gang" members, said that the kid jumped him, and a good 7 kids attacked him. He survived solely because a cop saw it, called in back up (SWAT in full riot gear showed up), and arrested the seven kids, and immediately hospitalized the kid who'd been beaten. The three of the seven were expelled, and failed appeals to get back in (meaning they can't go to school in WA for exactly one year from the date of the hearing), 2 got three months in juvie, and the last two (who were the leaders) got 6 months in juvie. So yea, he got set-up. Since then, our school has formed into "bands" of people... it's quite interesting, especially since I, being a goth-looking sorta person, and having many friends who are the same (we aren't goths, and don't pretend to be, but are often mistaken for them) don't get mess with just because we're considered "scary." What makes it all the more amusing is that two of us (and soon to be me too, hopefully) are dating cheerleaders. :lol:

 

Please tell me that kid is planning a revenge involving metal baseball bats, knives and many hours of pain and torture.

This is so not a punishment. What they need is to be ass raped in prison day after day for a year.

We had something along those lines here - some guy owed some other people about $10k, and so set up someone else as being at fault, he was kidnapped, and had his some of his fingers cut off (as well as some torture). Nasty shit. Being that he's a musician, I doubt he's going to go on a rampage of revenge.

 

Oh my god, thats so awful. What did he play? Unless he was a drummer, or he played the trumpet or something that only requires one hand he's totally fucked. That sucks so much. Not only did he lose his fingers he lost his art, and his job. That sucks.

 

i never said depression is selfish. true depression is a disease, and it sucks. but suicide is selfish, and fucking weak. nothing anyone goes through is unique. no matter who you are, someone else has it worse, and they're surviving. and most suicidal people kill themselves cuz people tease them, or they didn't get a date, or their cat died or some pathetic shit like that. kids are cruel, we all get teased, we all get rejected, and we all lose someone or something we love at some point. get the fuck over it, already, and stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself. i'm sure there are plenty of people who knew that kid whose lives are even more fucked up, and they haven't killed themselves. i'm truly sorry EEB lost a friend, but his friend should have realized that people would miss him. everybody has someone who will miss them. even complete losers. nobody is truly alone, unless they want to be. if you have no friends, go make some, ya jackass. hell, i've never turned down a cry for help in my life, even when i fucking hated the person crying. and i'm not unique. people like me sit on suicide hotlines and tell selfish assholes that they're loved. i've talked two people down from suicide, and i couldn't stand either one of the stupid bitches. they were taking up my valuable tv time. but i sat there, and i listened, and i told them that sure, life sucks, but it will get better, cuz if it's crap now, it can't get any worse. and ya know what? they're both still alive. obviously this kid had a whole damn school that missed him, but he was too fucking selfish to see it. he had friends, he had love, he had support. if he didn't feel like sticking around so things could get better, it's his own damn fault.

and don't go telling me i don't know cuz i haven't been there, blah blah blah. i've been so depressed i couldn't leave my house for over a year. i've contemplated suicide, i've even started the process. and you know what? it was fucking selfish. grow up, people. life sucks, you accept it, and you move on. you take your joy where you can get it, and you treat pain as a learning experience. and if you can't do that, get the fuck out of the gene pool. we don't need your spineless ass.

 

For once I agree with you on something rosie. His death is his own damn fault. Nobody forced him to OD. One thing I learned from my teenage years is that when you are thinking about suicide, you will try to justify yourself...at least inside. In fact you might even think you are going to help other people by killing yourself by ridding them of your, in the suicide PoV, pathetic presence. Quite interesting the fact you are volunteer in a suicide support line...did you ever follow back a call? Down here the only suicide support you might get is from the hardware store guy when he'll point you to the proper rope and noose to use. THAT and the evangelist who have that recruit/suicide support line.

 

I don't think life sucks. What can you compare it to? Other people's lives is the only thing I can see and my "life" is pretty good in that case.
I don't think suicide has to be selfish. Of course there are situations that you gave above e.g. the kid is a fucking pussy who has no perspective on things, where suicide is selfish and maybe most of the time it is but it's still selfish by default if you consider your own pain in those circumstances over there's. In most cases I'm alot more likely to have some sort of sick respect for the person who did it. I know that I probably couldn't bring myself to do it.

By the sound of it maybe you should of let those people kill themselves but I supose you just did the christian thing. Have you ever worked on a suicide hotline or anything similar Rosie?

Aries: Of course his death was his own fault! He did it himself and as it seems he was just weak willed and a pussy

 

i wasn't a christian when i helped those losers. i'm just too nice to refuse someone a helping hand. there's enough self-centered bastards in this world, i don't want to be another one. and no, i've never worked on an actual hotline--i just had a reputation in high school of being an excecllent listener. pain in the ass, but what can you do? i won't be mean to someone in need, that's just wrong.