Trick to perfect spelling

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ZirePhoenix, Oct 18, 2003.

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  1. ZirePhoenix

    ZirePhoenix New Member

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    ZirePhoenix, Oct 18, 2003
    ZirePhoenix, Oct 18, 2003
    #1
    The European Commission has just
    announced an agreement whereby English
    will be the official language of the EU rather
    than German, which was the other
    possibility. As part of the negotiations Her
    Majesty's Government conceded that English
    spelling had some room for improvement and
    has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that
    would be known as 'Euro-English'.

    In the first year 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make
    the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should klear up
    konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be
    growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
    troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words
    like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
    expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
    possible.

    Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have
    always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the
    horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgraseful and it
    should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such
    as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

    During ze fifz yer ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
    kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
    kombinations of leters. After ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl
    riten styl. Zer vil be no mor truble or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
    ezi tu understand each ozer.

    ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!"
     
    ZirePhoenix, Oct 18, 2003
    ZirePhoenix, Oct 18, 2003
    #1
  2. Dragoon

    Dragoon New Member

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    Dragoon, Oct 18, 2003
    Dragoon, Oct 18, 2003
    #2
    That's absolutely hilarious, ROTFL. :lol:

    Excuse me, what I meant is actually zet is ebsolutly ilarius.
     
    Dragoon, Oct 18, 2003
    Dragoon, Oct 18, 2003
    #2
  3. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Dark Elf, Oct 18, 2003
    Dark Elf, Oct 18, 2003
    #3
    :rofl:

    Well, if anything posted this week beats this one in terms of sheer funniness I'll be goddamned. Well done, ZirePhoenix! You've earned my Grinmanâ„¢ :D

    Due to the acute stupidity present in the upper layers of the EU, I wouldn't be especially surprised if what you wrote was true either. What a moronic bunch of blockheads :roll:
     
    Dark Elf, Oct 18, 2003
    Dark Elf, Oct 18, 2003
    #3
  4. Silvara

    Silvara New Member

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    Silvara, Oct 19, 2003
    Silvara, Oct 19, 2003
    #4
    AAARRRGGHHH!!!!! :-o :-o :-o

    THAT was funny! Where did you take it from (if you haven't made it up, of course)? I would give up English if they did that to it! :roll:
     
    Silvara, Oct 19, 2003
    Silvara, Oct 19, 2003
    #4
  5. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    Xz, Oct 19, 2003
    Xz, Oct 19, 2003
    #5
    hey is it okey that i publish it at my website, you will of course get all "ze onor"
     
    Xz, Oct 19, 2003
    Xz, Oct 19, 2003
    #5
  6. DarkUnderlord

    DarkUnderlord Administrator Staff Member

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    DarkUnderlord, Oct 19, 2003
    DarkUnderlord, Oct 19, 2003
    #6
    I am zorry but zis is veree old zis is. It is vunnee, but old and haz been around ze vorld via e-mail.
     
    DarkUnderlord, Oct 19, 2003
    DarkUnderlord, Oct 19, 2003
    #6
  7. Blinky969

    Blinky969 Active Member

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    Blinky969, Oct 19, 2003
    Blinky969, Oct 19, 2003
    #7
    Iz zat zo? I hav never sen it?
     
    Blinky969, Oct 19, 2003
    Blinky969, Oct 19, 2003
    #7
  8. Sleek_Jeek

    Sleek_Jeek New Member

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    Sleek_Jeek, Oct 19, 2003
    Sleek_Jeek, Oct 19, 2003
    #8
    I hav never sen it izer. pozible du tu ze fact zat i hat e-mail ezactle for zis tip of zing.


    frigging chainletters. too bad i never got this one though, its actually funny.
     
    Sleek_Jeek, Oct 19, 2003
    Sleek_Jeek, Oct 19, 2003
    #8
  9. Jarinor

    Jarinor New Member

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    Jarinor, Oct 20, 2003
    Jarinor, Oct 20, 2003
    #9
    I luv deleting posts. It maks me so hapy. Ples kep it up.
     
    Jarinor, Oct 20, 2003
    Jarinor, Oct 20, 2003
    #9
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