The worst book ever written.

Shockingly, I'm not exaggerating.

Second part.

 

Ow....

I think my brain just wept out of my ears.

 

Damn I came hard.


That's terrible writing. He's just randomly pulling descriptive terms out of a middle school english book.

 

Anyone notice the longest paragraph was about pubes? Surely there is some process of editing the publishers go through before they sell this? What happened to that?

 

I see nothing wrong with this description.

 

You could have linked to bizarre hentai, testicle and areola-related sadomasochism, goatse, etc.

But THIS.

This is just too damned far, and I won't stand for it.

 

That's not quite as mind-destroyingly bad as Gloria Tesch and the pile of utter bantha dung that is 'Maradonia and the Seven Bridges' *whimper* but it's pretty fucking close. God-DAMN, why do they keep letting morons self-publish?

 

I think it's fairly obvious that the "author" (and I use that term loosely) has never been laid before.

EDIT to add: I did, however, cum bukkits.

 

Hey, it could be worse.

John Norman has publishers.

 

I'm especially fascinated by her buzzing pubes and her neck that is like a bottle of wine covered in dew and otters.

COVERED IN DEW AND FUCKING OTTERS.

 

I couldn't get past "Her face had the fragrance of a gibbous moon."

WTF!!

 

I looked, but couldn't find any bantha porn. Huh.

PD: I saw that, felt a few braincells kill themselves, and moved on.

 

Have you tried rule34.com for the Bantha stuff?

 

not yet

 

... Her toes where snails, they where snails with shells of tears...

God damn, that part gave me a hard on.

 

Rule34.com doesn't have any bantha porn. Neither do the Webz, it would seem. Wampa? Sure. Nerf? Of course. Bantha? Hell no. Well yeah, OK, I did stumble upon this. Quality stuff, ain't it?

 

You just uploaded that so you could post bantha porn didnt you?

 

I'm not the author of the bantha pic, if that's what you're implying, but truth be said, I would end up with a better one if I'd spend the time I wasted on searching bantha porn on just drawing one myself.

 

This can't be real can it? No, it can't be, I don't think I can carry on knowing that the person who wrote that is out there somewhere, maybe writing more. Something must be done.

 

Not only is it real, but the author has about twenty other books on Amazon. All hope is lost...