On the Merits of Windows 8, "Altered Beast", and Bourbon

Ah, Windows 8! I wouldn't have bothered with thee if not for the fact that my previous OS was Vista. That and the fact that I predict every electronic device from here on out will be of a touch interface so I better get used to it.

The default interface to Win8 feels more like a splash screen more than anything else. It's arranged with the default tiles you might come to expect from your smart phone and of course these are removable and customizable, but what's the point of it all? Granted, searching from this splash screen is nearly perfect and will basically take you to wherever you want to go -- for example, without any other stimulus, I simply need to begin typing for the search functionality to spring to life. From there, accessing RegEdit is as simple as downloading Valve's Steam app/tile. However once I've accessed the applied Steam app (and a variety of other tiles that affix themselves to my splash screen), I'm whisked immediately away to the Desktop, which is treated as an app, except it's an app for the blokes who want to multitask and get something productive done! It's as if the new default interface (my splash screen) is an unnecessary abstraction to the layer that is actually the meat of the OS. Even so, getting to the Desktop from the splash screen is simple enough and the Desktop experience is more or less intact.

The Desktop is intact in spite of the missing Start Menu. Many traditional Windows users immediately lamented the omission of the Start Menu and I am given to understand an app to restore the Start Menu is the most popularly downloaded for Win8, but if you are one of those people with the knee-jerk reaction to protest the exclusion of the Start Menu, please ask yourself "for what did I ever use the Start Menu?" If you're anything like me, God help you. More to the point: if you're anything like me, you used it to quickly access your "My Documents" or the programs (which are now termed "apps" (and deckers in Shadowrun can now hack wirelessly which is teh ghey, but whatevar)) you used most frequently, but rest assured, your documents are no further out of reach for lack of this menu and your favorite programs are just as easily serviced by desktop shortcuts. PROTIP: Always opt for the desktop icon when installing software; you can always delete it later! This work-around is fine except for when you install software that doesn't prompt you to tell it to leave desktop traces of its installation. In that case, what do you do? You can root around your "My Computer" but that's retarded. Maybe the fluid search functionality I mentioned earlier will help you find your hidden programs, but I don't know because I haven't tried it. I've had a pretty good idea where my programs were, so I just dug for them.

This is largely due to the fact that I've spent entirely too long simply updating drivers. For whatever reason, the updater for my motherboard while claiming to belong to the 64-bit variety of Windows 8 complains that it is a 16-bit program that cannot function in the 64-bit world. I eventually got the updated drivers I wanted by bypassing and uninstalling the stupid updater, and downloading the BIOS and driver updates I wanted and applying them manually. This was motivated by the fact that while playing Portal (I'm getting caught up on all the cool games my old rig couldn't run), the game crashed my PC, literally at the moment I acquired the gun that created portals. System Restore had trouble getting Humpty Dumpty back together again, and here I am restored to a point before the Portal install.

Enter Altered Beast, a game that owned anthropomorphic beasts before Furries ruined them. I had acquired a Sega beat-'em-up pack recently on Amazon for cheap and included in it is Altered Beast (included as well are the first two of the Golden Axes but these are virtually unplayable without gamepads and two players). In this game, one plays a suitably 'roided-out Greek in a unitard who punches and kicks grey doggies to level up to increasingly 'roided-up Greeks until ultimately morphing into some wolf-, dragon-, polar bear-human hybrid. I had forgotten how integral button mashing was to early video games until playing this emulated version of Altered Beast where the keyboard controls mean I lose feeling in half of my arm instead of one thumb of one hand. In any case, playing this game locally has helped to pass the time as the multiple driver updates have downloaded individually because updaters refuse to work, and are helping now as Portal spends it's second chunk of two hours downloading.

In short, Windows 8 isn't the stillborn catastrophe you might otherwise be tempted to believing it is, Altered Beast is an entertaining pastime that dulls the pain of dealing with the fact that Windows 8 is compatible with nothing, and bourbon is the lubricant that brought this helpful public announcement to you all.

I know nothing of installing and playing Arcanum on Windows 8. Is Drog present?

 

I upgraded to Vista because the copies I had of XP I had gotten from university were no longer being recognized as legitimate. Had I done some research I would have found that the highly anticipated, marginally superior Windows 7 was soon to be released about the time I upgraded to Vista. I ended up suspecting Vista's known shortcomings were the root of my system's poor performance, despite the fact that my old system was also a relic of my university years--underpowered by even today's mid-tier tablet PC standards.

I don't remember all of the Windows versions I've used over the years and don't have a favorite. That said, Windows 8 is pretty good. I remember Windows 3.1 being pretty stable, but I wasn't exactly pushing any boundaries with The Secret of Monkey Island back then either.

I've already researched adapting gamepads to my PC and I have to confess that I'm too excited at the prospect for what the prospect is. This article lists the 15 best console controllers of all time. Being a Nintendo customer throughout the years, I've had the most experience with Nintendo controllers so I am a bit partial. The Wiimote comes in at a deserving last place. Even the original Xbox's controller isn't deserving of the last place slot. The SNES controller is simple, comfortable, and functional, but the Gamecube controller is my favorite for having added improved ergonomics to the SNES formula. I prefer it to even Sony's DualShock. The only downside I've encountered to using a two-player PC adapter for my old Gamecube controllers is that the analog shoulder buttons register as finicky digital inputs.

 

Re:

I really wouldn't bother with W8, personally. I'm running a mix of Vista/W7 for my home environment, and I couldn't be happier. Plus, as someone who's had a touch-screen for years (25.5" Touchsmart), using touch with windows 7 is easy. You just have to not be fundamentally mentally handicapped... Actually, I take that back. I know a lot of kids with down syndrome* that understand how a touchscreen works a lot better than your average nincompoop.

From a home user standpoint? I still love Vista. From a business standpoint? I hate it. It was awful to try and support. So much so we rolled all the Vista testing machines back to XP, and are starting to contemplate the move to W7.


*I work in education.

 

Re: Re:

Correction - previously dead roided-up Greeks. This game doesn't simply have homoerotic subtext...it's got zombie homoerotic subtext. My favorites are the dragon and finally the super-wolf transformation at the last level.

The local hospital wanted to save money, so when they "updated" the hardware and software that connects each bit of medical data to a main DHMC intranet server, they bought used Dells running on Vista, rather than rolling with the (admittedly expensive) suite of mac products that had populated the facility. None of the folks working there like the computers - all they do is seize up.

Not a fan of Vista myself, but I'm eager to try 7. I'll get to 8 at some point, but as for now I enjoy Ubuntu, and still love XP service pack 3.

 

For anyone that still uses XP, pray that I don't meet you on the street. I will lay you out and literally kerb stomp your skull for an hour. XP turns 12 years old this year. It needs to die. Your are holding yourself back - pretty much in the dark ages. Get with the times. If you can't do that then you may as well revert to Amiga Workbench (the best OS ever made) which will have much the same feature set as XP in a modern environment.

I've recently installed WIndows 8 on my media machine -- and it works quite well. The tiles interface lends itself reasonably well to an environment with limited input options. Boot up time is greatly improved (especially on an SSD) and XBMC works just as well as W7.

Windows 8 definitely has it's place but it isn't in the workplace. There's a reason the desktop paradigm has lasted this long (in whatever variation) -- it is much, much more efficient and productive vs what was previously called the Win 8 Metro UI. I don't think I'd survive a day at work if Win 8 was my main OS (yes, yes you can get it to start on the desktop instead of the start menu and so on. But I shouldn't have to touch it OOTB).

W7 is still where it's at for the corporate space IMO. Windows RT is also beyond a joke.

At home I primarily use Fedora Core with GNOME Shell as my primary OS. Suits my needs much better than Windows at the moment.

Server 2012 does look interesting though; particularly the improved PowerShell integration -- looking forward to testing it out when I get the time.

Also,

Should not be an issue. Win8 more or less runs on the same monolithic Windows 7 Kernel with a few tweaks. There should be no problems with installing older software like Arcanum (just use search to locate it in the start menu) -- if it works in W7, it'll work in W8 (so the Microsoft rep told us). This is meant to include both user and kernel space drivers as well. Obviously you may need to tweak compatibility settings as you did in W7 -- particularly Run as Administrator as Windows 8's UAC is even more integrated than previous iterations.

 

I use XP, it goes great with my collection of old video games and my ageing netbook.

I'm a big believer in waiting for innovations to trickle down to the level of beggars and scavengers.

Luckily, I already pray that you won't meet me on the street. Na, just kidding, old chap. Happy new year.

 

I only just converted to 7 from XP a couple of months ago. If I could I would still use XP. Run at me!

 

The thing about W8 that I hate the most is the new Skype. Fuck that shit.*



*DF works in education.

 

Good thing Windows 7 is free these days.

 

We run XP, and I know a lot of businesses that still do. It's too expensive to move corporate infrastructure, a lot of the time.

 

Amen to that, brother!

 

If i had the time and dedication i'd run XP SP3, yet my overall lazyness keeps me with 7.
Man, i really miss playing Blood without DosBox.
Too bad that XP support has been taken down by windows...
Anyway, I'm not thinking on changing to 8 in a few years, yet i hope that the computer i'm buying soon doesn't come with it.

 

We've successfully migrated a fleet of 60,000 to Windows 7 in 3-4 years without major issue.

When you look at the cost of maintaining an older OS -- particularly once Microsoft drops support for it -- the cost of upgrading to a new OS isn't all that much. Upgrade licenses are cheap (yes, you can use an upgrade license to go from OEM XP to enterprise W7).

Your infrastructure doesn't even have to change. W7 will happily talk to Server 2003 servers. You don't even need to increase your functional domain level (although doing so has it's benefits). However you will probably want a 2008R2 box as your Group Policy management station for the newer policies (that are unavailable on GP 2003).

Yes XP will still work, but it is old and holding onto a legacy OS despite the benefits of newer operating system for what is ultimately very little money is just plain frustrating.

 

I'm rather lazy with new technology, and will only use it if it is thrust on me. I use Windows 7, and intend to do so for as long as humanly possibly until I have to change because it is ridiculously obsolete or work based reasons make me change my preferences. I still even use the same phone I had when I was 16, smartphones are the Devil's get.

 

Yup, i can't bear those people that buy a cellphone twice as expensive as a computer and is unable to do half as much as a computer or more!

 

Re:

That's what she said.

But seriously I agree. Luckily for me, it turns out I get a free iPad from university this year, which also means I don't need to spend $300 on textbooks. Hooray for the future.

 

Why is no one talking about bourbon? That's a drink to enjoy with a nice cigar.