My day at the driving centre

Okay, so, for my birthday my mum booked me in to this all day session at a Defensive Driving Centre. 6.50 am, I set off, with more than enough time, or so I think. I get on the freeway pretty quickly, and forced off almost as soon as I get on by a semi who doesn't want to let me merge, and so I have to spend 15 minutes getting to the next on ramp. Bastard truck driver.

Anyway, a half an hour and a few checks of my map later, I get there. Boring theory at first, then it's out on to the course. Pretty good overall, and then we get to the skid pan. It's a couple of hundred metres around, and they flood it with a combination of water and diesel. And yes, the point is, burn around as fast as you can, getting into as many skids possible and pulling out of them.

Needless to say, this is the highlight of the day for me, and my chance to put my 17 year old van through 90 degree turns at 50 km/h (160 km/h is 100 mph for reference) through water a couple of inches deep, slamming the wheel into turns and with my foot on the accelerator most of the time. Unless you've done something like this, you can't really understand how much fun it is. If you've fishtailed a lot before, imagine being given a free rein to fishtail as much as you possibly can without danger for an hour and a quarter. Actually, it was pretty hard to fishtail, because my tyres are pretty good and stopped most of the rear wheel skidding. But man, I did some awesome skids that never seemed to stop - wrenching the wheel all over the place, tyres squealing constantly, foot planted, water kicking up as I slide round the bends and down the straights.

Then it was just some more not-as-fun exercises, and a drive home at 5 pm, where the winds on the freeway kept threatening to blow my van out of it's lane. Still, I now see why hoons hoon.

Oh, and I'm hopefully a better driver who can control skids, aquaplanes, tight steering at high speeds yadda yadda yadda.

Moral of the story - if you can, do one of these courses. Skidding is just a bonus. It also helped that I was at one of the best facilities in the world for this.

 

How was the driving center? Was that as good as the driving centre?

 

Learn to spell, silly pigdog Ah-merry-kin.

 

Yeah that sounds awesome. Would have been more fun if you had some terrified individual in the passenger seat though.

 

I had someone in the passenger seat, she wasn't terrified though. DE, I wouldn't know if it's normally part of getting the license, as I was mainly taught by my dad.

 

defensive driving isnt part of the U.S requirements either.... i cant really imagine teaching you how to take a 90 degree turn at 35 miles per hour would be the best thing for some americans. Especially the drunk ones.



Or the southern ones.

 

Sounds awesome. The insurance break you get from the course (at least you do with the insurance I have) is like icing on the cake.

I remember a while back, my dad was offered a free defensive driving course by his work, so he took it. The skids were a lot of fun, according to him also. He also had to do this one excersice where they lined up the car a ways from three stop lights, all red. Then you floor it towards the stop lights, and at the last second, one turns green and you have to swerve into that lane. Whee!

Since I work for the same company as my dad now, hopefully I can get a free class out of it next time the offer comes around.

 

I'm from Tennessee.

 

Well, we don't have reindeer or kangaroos, but a deer is a common sight on the road. My dad hit one then got out and kicked it's body because he was mad it had dented his truck

 

He should just be glad it wasn't a moose. Those things really fuck you up if you hit them. My friend hit one and his car was totaled.

 

You evil double poster you!

Yeah, you can get kangaroos and wallabies hitting cars here when you're driving out in the country. The kangaroos are a real bitch, because they're usually in mid leap when you hit them, and they can end up landing on the top of your car, in which case, you're going to need to be fucking lucky to get out untouched. Not only do the bastards weigh heaps, but being kicked by them will fuck you up good.

 

Defensive driving - BAH! You can do the same in the street - and for free Just kidding though taking some U-turns in winter or checking how it is when you lose control over your vehicle is a lot of fun.

 

I need a class in offensive driving. Just today this bitch rode me off the street onto the freeway onramp by not letting me change lanes.

"FUCKING WHORE!" could be heard echoing throughout the hills around westbound Highway 92 as I merged onto the freeway. God, what the fuck is wrong with some people?

I was at a stop light and I needed to get into the left lane, as my lane was freeway entrance only. So I looked out my window with a smile, motioned that "hey, once the light turns green, can I please get into your lane? I made a mistake and I don't need to get on the freeway," and put on my turn signal to boot. Then check this bitch out. Light turns green, she makes like she's giving me room, I throw up the "thank you" hand, and start to change lanes. Then SHE FUCKING SPEEDS UP BLOCKS ME OFF AND PARALLELS ME ALL THE WAY ONTO THE FREEWAY ONRAMP. I guess she had a change of heart when she realized OH NO SOMEONE IS GETTING IN FRONT OF ME AND I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

RAGE.

SHE WAS GOING TO LET ME GO AND THEN GOT ALL RUTHLESS FOR NO REASON AND RUINED MY DAY.

"LIAR WHORE LIAR WHORE LIAR WHORE LIAR WHORE" I screamed in this really weiner high pitched voice as I rythmically beat on my steering wheel, trying to see oncoming traffic through a film of frustrated tears. So yeah, I get kind of girly when I get really pissed off. It's a lifelong embarassment.

Immediately, I take the next off ramp and end up in bumfuck rural California. Who new such a backwood community existed not 5 minutes from civilization. I swear there were mules and old women with butterchurns a-gawkin at that ther shiny blue car/truck thingamajigger a-passin on threw. I could hear banjos dueling and grown men squealin lahk peeugs just off the road in the brambles by the still. Finally, weaving my way across the road, dodging deer and tumbleweed, orange muscle cars with dixie painted on the roof and sheriff's cars flying overhead, I made my way back home.

Thanks, bitch. It should've been legal to blast her in the face with a shotgun the moment she started speeding up to cut me off.

 

Isn't it? I bet nobody would bother to even issue a warrant for your arrest.

 

Haha, my stepdad has one of those

 

I like Milo's funny stories!

 

why didnt you just slow down and get behind her? then you could have followed her home and raped and murdered her.