More stuff to make you think I'm crazy

Alright, so I'm going to start this off by saying I started to smoke pot again, but recent events make me reevaluate that choice. Whenever I would get high, I'd sense another presence with me, something dark. It left marks on my back when it attacked me last night, and when I smoked pot today to enjoy chopping up the ice surrounding my car, it attacked again, causing pains in my intestines and stomach. I drank milk today, and whatever it was turned the milk into cheese in my stomach, which made me quickly expel the contents from my organic food pouch, but not completely. It turned off my gag reflex so I couldn't finish vomiting the contents of my thoroughly taxed gut. Making cheese is painful. So, after realizing it was only when I got high that these things happen, I decided that until I can sort reality from fiction, I shouldn't smoke any more pot. I officially quit until I think things are the way they should be. I believe I have a great destiny that should not be hampered by things I can't control. I suppose one could call what my destiny appears to be, to myself, a delusion of grandeur. However, my dreams don't lie to me. I will accept being called crazy by those who don't understand, and I hope you guys don't think any less of me because of it.
I attempted to meditate while I was under attack, and found that whatever it was couldn't harm me so long as I remained in meditation. As soon as I stopped my period of reflection, the pains came back. It was torturing me in spite of my will to live. I could expel it from my body, but it kept returing unless I had to urinate, at which point it would be confined to my bladder. It actually tried to keep me from peeing, but no force on earth can prevent the flow of my mighty urethra. The message I got was "overusing pot". Pot helps me concentrate, but at the rate I was using it was more like I was using it to feel normal. I don't like how I feel now, relying on a substance to get school work done, to do household chores, to think...and I especially don't like the foreign thoughts in my head from "entities" I come in contact with during highs. It told me I had a choice, either love or power, and said it was torturing me because I had to kill everybody. Wow. Anyone an expert in crazy?
I suppose I keep coming back here because there's always something new, always a response. I know I'm not like you more cynical members of the board, but I've been here eagerly awaiting responses to topics that haven't even been discovered yet. I tell you guys these things because you're like a litmus test to my thoughts, which are always running 100 miles a minute. I'm very stubborn, so that's why I kept smoking in spite of your advice. I figured there was a way for me to get around the negatives of smoking, and here they turn into a tangible force of malevolence that I can't explain rationally.

 

The first thing you need to do is get as much tin foil as you can, craft a hat (this will protect your thoughts). Next you will need a satellite dish, jumper cables and a gas generator. Combine these so you can send a signal to the mothership (only they possess the technology to remove the evil soul of zork).

 

Whoa, dude. I can't speak for invisible forces or what they are, exactly, but I do know that the mindscape is a jungle, with lions and tigers and bears. O my!

Speaking as a student of psychology: These are mildly schitzaphrenic symptoms, where boundaries of identity and reality blur, no doubt exacerbated by pot. QUIT!

Speaking as a stoned hippy: Your aura is, like, open to negative energies, man. You've got to, like, earth yourself.

If you are genuinely worried about invisible, malevolent monsters, then you ought to ask for help from invisible, benevolent monsters.

Oh, and the correct answer is Love, not Power.

 

Hey, were you that guy that once posted here that he was hearing voices?

 

Mine too, mammary gland, over a year and still lives "happily". Which race you have? How old? I have rottweiler female, 11 years old (i.e. already above average), and vet told me that my dog will rather die due seasoning and not because of cancer.

But it's still shit that even so many dogs die because of that goddamn cancer... :cry:

 

I'm sorry, DU. That's never easy to deal with. My golden retriever was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer when he was eight, and didn't live to see nine.

Hmm...but how will I send an intelligible signal with just a satellite dish, jumper cables and a gas powered generator? On top of that, where is the mother ship so that I may accurately send my signal? Also, I'm not much of a hat person.

I chose love, it made the attack more violent. It was like I was slowly being torn apart from the inside. Thankfully, I had to pee, which released me from those awful sensations.
I can accept hallucinations. They happen to me frequently. When I start developing physical symptoms, that's when I worry.

Perhaps. The last time I posted something nearly this crazy, it was around the time of my last birthday, which takes place on July 30th. I was concerned that I was being attacked by some sort of demon, but it left no marks on my body and mainly appeared to me in hypnagogic hallucinations. Occasionally there were audible voices coming from underneath my computer desk, but I chalked those up to an overactive imagination. I don't know what to call what's going on now, because this is the first time I've been injured by something like this.

 

Have you fought a powerful wizard in the last years?

OK, jokes apart, I think you should start doing things that may make you forget those voices.

Try going to the gym, attending to meditation classes, go out and have a walk every morning, this kind of stuff may help in your problem, because sometimes the problem is in your home, not in you.

 

Up the anti-psychotics and reduce the pot.

And hey look! DU's alive.

 

I exercise regularly, which helps with my mood, but if the psychotic symptoms are only present mainly during thc-induced highs, I see no need to tell my psychiatrist that things aren't working. Do you know what the symptoms are to the psych meds I take? I could develop breasts on a higher dose, or have headaches, lack of muscle control, plus if I end up taking higher doses of meds it's like I didn't learn anything from my experience. Most people have experiences like mine under the influence of a powerful psychedelic, like acid or datura, not pot. I'm obviously very sensitive to the psychedelic effects of marijuana, and if I'm right (which I am so far) I won't need to up my medications if I'm not smoking pot. And, if I start up again, I'll know to take it easy, and perhaps only use once a month at the most, with other people. A high is different when you share it with another person.

 

Mate, in your situation I wouldn't be touching pot or any other drug again. Ever.

It sounds to me like the pain you suffered was your bodies reaction to the pot itself, not a result of the psychedelics - your brain tried to justify the unexpected suffering by conjuring up a set of demons to chase you around, which obviously is a result of the THC.

You're obviously destroying yourself with these addictions, even if you convince yourself that once a month would be o.k, it won't be and you'll never be able to stick to that standard. Eventually you'll want more, and you'll probably justify it by saying you need to concentrate, at which point "I'm better now, 2 or 3 times a month would be alright" would sound perfectly reasonable. You need to give it up completely. Cold Turkey. There is no other way.

Start doing things that get you out of your normal comfort zone, nature is good - whether it's bushwalking, climbing or whatever, it doesn't matter so long as you get out of society and your strange little life for as long as possible. It's the routine that has put you in this situation.

Knowing a thing or two about bad habits myself, it sounds like you're right on the verge of your breaking point. You can either put everything you have into getting out of this rut right now, or you can lie and tell yourself that you'll just take it slow until your will inevitably breaks and you end up losing touch completely - and I don't think anyone here wants that.

 

Even as someone who doesn't consider pot 'real' drugs, I would recommend quitting altogether. Smoking a little, as Charonte said, is delusionary, as it is inevitable that you will want more. Even if you don't think you would, you're wrong; it's more a thing that you need to avoid rather than resist; and I do know a thing or two about feeling that I can when I can't, and don't care by the time I give in to something. All I can say is, it really doesn't sound like your life is better on weed than not; so why continue?

 

He said he didn't listen to our advice the first time, how will this be any different?

 

Sorry to hear about the dogs. They are the best people ever.

 

Hmmm...I'll definitely miss the good highs, but I'll be glad to be rid of the negatives forever. I didn't take anyone's advice last time because I thought there would be a loophole, but there are no loopholes with my current situation. Like I said before, I'm stubborn. And you're right, I would be deluding myself in allowing the use of pot. I just don't know how something so harmless could have this affect on me. Then again, everyone responds to it differently. I still think pot has medical uses, and can be a safer alternative to drinking, but I was definitely over-using it, and being irresponsible. No amount of willpower will allow me to keep to the once a month standard, because you're right, I'll eventually want more.
Still, even off the pot I saw a ghost this morning at my friend's house, which makes me wonder.

 

Withdrawals, or you're already royally fucked.

Pot can be addictive too, despite being 'safer than drinking'...

 

There are some alternatives like:

-Valerian, you make tea of it, or chew it.
-Dandelion Root tea.
-Gingko Biloba, which you can mash with some hot water into a wooden small bowl, then drink it.
-Ginseng or Suma.

Bold=Energy
Italic= Relaxation

They're not addictive, they don't have such terrible counter effects, and the body accepts it well.

 

Grossenschwamm, you are not "crazy." The truly mentally insane aren't aware of their plight. My hypothesis is one of two things: 1.) you have suffered some trauma (which you may or may not be conscious of) in your past and are attempting to cope, or 2.) you are just really fucking bored. Perhaps its both. Stopping drug use comes down to really wanting to change and finding a productive, positive substitute. In practice, what I have observed is those who are willing to change and then find another "passion" in life have the greatest probability for abstaining from future drug use/abuse. Maybe trying to feed your brain, which is starving for stimuli, with a creative activity (writing, painting, role playing, furniture making, etc.) and then give it proper relaxation (i.e. valerian, meditation, so forth). Don't rationalize your use ad hoc, or look for excuses to smoke. Your demons may (or very well may not) just be a somaticization of an unresolved inner turmoil. Confront it so it will go away. Then set a concrete plan for your life. Seek appropriate help and follow advice the professional provides.

 

OK, you want to know what I really think? I'm the son of god, the entity that attacked me is Satan, and he's trying to prevent me from unlocking my potential and saving the entire world from the shitstorm that's coming. God speaks to me during trying times, and it was his voice that told me I was overusing pot, amid Satan laughing and telling me that I would "never have the power to fight back." There isn't much time left, and I'm grasping at straws trying to figure out how to realize my birthright. The dreams I have where it's the future, I control every aspect, every movement, every person moves the way I want them to move. Then it happens, and I wonder what else I could have done. If that isn't crazy, if me claiming to be the son of god isn't crazy, then I don't have any fucking idea where you guys sit on the sanity ladder. This is me at my most vulnerable. I tried telling my therapist who I think I am and he just said, "Well, I figured if Jesus came back today he'd be 302'd." That doesn't help. None of this helps. I've spent 8 months of my life in mental institutions and what did it get me? Nothing. I had to realize my own sanity, nothing those doctors told me amounted to anything (except the ones who told me to meditate. I do that.) Now, if any of you still don't think this whole situation is crazy, let me know. I'm always listening, even if you don't think I care.

 

Way to go! Keep thinking like that and you'll find a bum who thinks he's The Living One.