LOLCat Bible

At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.

 

Grakelin......



This is......



(Sigh...)

*Bangs head on desk for a few hours*

 

*Logs off and goes to bed before he can think too hard about this.*

 

Old News.

Jerk.

 

Bookmarked for later reading.

 

I laughed and then lapsed into despair over human nature. Why do we put so much effort into such useless things?

 

The amount of useless shit we put our limited time and energy into directly corrolates to the advances of our civilization that allow our survival to require less time and energy.
Wait, are they actually selling it on Amazon?

 

Wow... lame...

 

It's true. We do pointless things like this because we need to keep ourselves occupied in an existence where sabretooth tigers aren't eating us.

 

I started reading it and became disgusted, so I stopped.

 

Wonderful. As if the bible wasn't full of bullshit to begin with.

And yet I still want to buy one for my mum.

 

I happen to like it.

 

Bible is actually full of awesome tales that form the basis for modern Fantasy as we know it.

 

Grak, honey, my mother forced me to go to church twice a week until I was thirteen, and I then spent six years at an Anglican school. I know what's in the bible. I just think it's horseshit.

 

Xiao, honey, my mother and I were the only people on her side of the family who weren't Pentecostals for the first 16 years of my life. Guess who's house I was supposed to visit every weekend?*

I love the Bible. It is every bit as good as Greek or Egyptian mythology. Better, even, because people keep adding their fanfics to it every couple of years.

EDIT: Admittedly, Grandma stopped taking me when she thought the minister was gay.

 

Quoted for being a giant, indigestible ball of truth.

 

The Bible is great the way that one can prove literally everything with it. Want a proof that slavery is baaaad? Choose the Bible! Want a proof that slavery is gooood? Yes, choose the Bible! How not to love it.

 

I think the Bible is to History what Michael Moore is to Documentaries.

 

Fat???

 

Pretentious???