getting ready to play the game for the first time, i've been reading a few other topics so i know what the basic builds are but beyond that i'm lost
i did, in a couple of sittings on the john but i'm terrified of all the freedom that comes in western RPGs, i'm not used to it. i need someone to hold my hand
Playing as a mage is probably easiest for a beginner. If you go that route, you'll still want two or three points in Melee and maybe a point in Dodge. As far as spells go, I'd say use whatever sounds like it might be fun. The first spells in the Necromantic White and Necromantic Black colleges will make your life a lot easier, but they aren't absolutely necessary. Personally, I don't have much use for Divination, Meta or Nature. And Water isn't that great except for a first level spell that can come in handy if you start with low Beauty. Otherwise... Most of the spells are pretty effective. Getting Conveyance up to Teleport will make doing some of the quests a lot easier, but you can live without it. Unlocking Cantrip, on the other hand, is something you'll use a lot. Temporal is almost too good.
magic right, so i get bonuses from equipment i'll go with the next poster's recommendations in terms of that
I like halflings. The extra crit chance + a couple of fated rings + a filament blade + called shots = devastating your enemies. As far as background, pick anything that raises physical stats that doesn't hurt willpower...
If you want to play a female character, your choices are human, half-elf, elf or half-orc. Half-Orcs are a little tougher to roleplay, but it's worth playing one for the good starting physical stats and bonuses to Dodge and Melee. Otherwise, they're all good. Elves start with the highest Magickal Aptitude. Half-Elves are pretty good all around characters. Humans get some weird backgrounds that might be fun. I'd say go with a half-elf or elf and pretty much any background that doesn't lower Intelligence or Willpower. You should probably stay away from Sold Your Soul, since that forces you to be evil. If you want a lot of followers, Debutante or Miracle Operation can be pretty cool. If you're more interested in gaining spells sooner, Dark Elf Follower or Only Child will give you Willpower bonuses in exchange for crappier social skills.