Great quotes through the centuries.

Be they wise, humorous, idiotic, or inspiring, please post them here for our enjoyment.

I would like to share some of Mike Tyson's with you now. :boxing:


"I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore."
To a female reporter during an interview

"I could sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating"
On his popularity

"I wish one of you guys has children, so I could kick them in the head or stomp on their testicles so you could feel my pain"
To a group of reporters that asked about his emotional state

"Just to let you know, I'm crazy, but I'm not crazy like that. I might want to have sex in a crazy place, but I don't want to kill or rape nobody."
Speaking to boxing commissioners at a hearing to regain his boxing license

"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."
Explaining his current mental state

 

Those who are good at making excuses, are seldom good for anything else. -- Ben Franklin

My Social Science teacher has us write one in our journal every day.... Can't remember todays...

Oh... and this one:

 

The God of ridiculous quotes - Douglas Adams. Most of these are from THGTTG.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

 

"You can observe a lot by watching."
~Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra

"If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's going to stop them."
~Attributed to Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra

"It was déjà vu all over again."
~Attributed to Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra

"Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. . . . So I'm happy tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man."
~Martin Luther King Jr., the night before his assassination

Or is Familiar Quotations cheating? =P

 

"This is the sort of thing up with which I shall not put."
- Winston Churchill on the English rule against ending a sentence with a preposition.

 

Some women speaking to churchill:
"Churchill if i were your wife i would put poison in your coffe."
Churchill:"If i were your husband i would drink it"

 

"Life's a lemon, I want my money back" --- a very depressed person

"In war it's not about who's right, but who's left"

 

That reminds me, there's a few good 'war quotes' on the death splashes of Operation Flashpoint. It might be the only thing the game is good for - except for bouncing a battleship down a sand dune ...

 

I got it from Operation Flashpoint, it's about the only one I could remember from it...

 

Thought so . OP has the best glitches I've ever seen - place a LST at the top of a hill in the editor, then watch bounce down to the troops below...

There's also a 'sweet spot' on the LST - place it on land, launch a few missiles at it (some plane, can't remember which) and watch it fly 1.5km away!

(Sorry, back to the quotes)

 

i made this one up a couple of months back
while having a debate with a religious freak

she was a roman catholic

 

"I know that you know that i know that you know that i know that you know that i know that you know that Carl sits when he needs to piss."
Or something like that

 

if you're going to keep doing that, could you atleast buy me dinner?.

 

"Moo, I say".
The Talking Brahmin

 

"Kill or cure, give that curious cat a dose of satisfaction."
the oldtimers

 

Woman to Winston Churchill at a party:

"Sir, you're drunk!"

"Yes, and you're ugly! But tomorrow, I'll be sober!"

Winston Churchill:

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

I'll think of more later to add. ^ - ^

(Quick question... I always thought it was "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which we will not put"... please correct me if I'm wrong however.)

 

Snowmane, perhaps you're right. I heard it the way I posted it, but it could be the other way.

??

"This is the sort of thing up with which we shall not put."

vs.

"Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which we will not put."

 

No, it doesn't matter much, I just wasn't sure. I'm not trying to be nit picky. ^_^ I was just curious as to whether I'd learned it wrong or what. :wink: