Eighty Percent Of Al-Qaeda No. 2s Now Dead

WASHINGTON, DC—The Pentagon announced Monday that 80 percent of Osama bin Laden's seconds-in-command have been eliminated. "Nearly 1,600 al-Qaeda leaders ranked number two have been wiped out," Lt. Col. Mark Allison said. "That leaves only 400 of Osama bin Laden's right-hand men in the organization." Following the apparent failure to kill bin Laden's No. 2 man Ayman al-Zawahri in a missile strike on a Pakistani border town on Jan. 13, American forces intensified the search for al-Qaeda second-in-command Ahmed Al-Zahnami, or, failing that, No. 2 man Amman al-Zaharani, or No. 2 man Ahmed al-Zafarani.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/44900

 

all their names sound the same. how do they keep track of one another?

 

More importantly, just because I'm a stickler for math like this... how are there 2,000 people all ranked number 2?

 

Because it came from The Onion.

 

Wow, I actually feel kind of stupid after that.

 

Ouch no shit. Well have you heard that the terrorists have gotten their hands on plutonium as well?

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43012

 

The Onion is brilliant. Probably a more honest analysis of what's going on, in an odd way, than the actual news agencies.

 

This is old new. My Intelligence service tell me they have over 40 nuclear weapon already. They are useing Christian and Jew who convert over to Islam secretly to carry out this operation. While in Dec. of 2004 U.S. Customs and Border Protection(CBP) illegality detain 40 america born moslim
as they return by car from than Islamist conference in Toronto Canada.

one moslim woman was insulted by than far rightwing Christian agent for CBP when ask by him it the wire in her bras was a weapon, almost all bras have steel wires in then. Than female moslim who was seven months pregnant reported that the agents lifted her blouse in a dirty way to see it she was realy pregnarit., which show how poorly trained they are. While the realy terrorist working for Terrorist No 1 pass thought with no problen
as they didnot look like moslim and wear moslim clothes.

 

Well... I personally maintain the belief we just need to carpet-bomb that whole area.

 

Yeah, killing civilians always solves problems.

 

Then why don't we eradicate the entire human race? Then there won't be any more terrorist, fanatics, pedophiles, stupid religious people...

 

No more you either! Sounds sweet to me!

 

We could get rid of the left-handers.

 

Left handers > Scaramouche

 

Yeah, but most people > Scaramouche. I just get envious and thought killing off half the planet would solve my ego issues.

 

No, then there would just be only half a world population for you to be envious of.

 

Homeland Security is better know by most America as Homeland Screwup.
They arenot protecting america security with the way they harrness peaceful moslim by the way they beahavior The terrerist that carry out 9-11 arenot supid and they willnot repeat themself. 17 of the 19 9-11 operates didnot hide in the america moslim communicity but instead hid in the america seclar community and they rent and watch prono moive, beahavior in non-moslim ways.

 

Maybe they weren't Muslims.... maybe they were.... CATHOLICS!

 

Like these nutters?

http://www.californiahealthline.org/ind ... ssCD=CL126
http://www.alternet.org/rights/28838/?c ... &pID=61991