Maybe it should be obvious but-when you put a weapon or

armor in somoene's inventory, are they using it? I don't see how to dress or arm them except for putting it in their inventory and
then i'm not sure it's being used.

 

look at their paper doll to see what's equipped (one of two buttons above their inventory)
~Aldin

 

Well, if a weapon or armor is put in their inventory, they will wear/wield if..

a) It is their size
b) It is better than what they are currently wearing/wielding.

You can also equip them directly by, when looking at their gear, clicking on the small symbol of a body at the left side. But, b will still affect what they use. And they will still wield that nasty sword(that has a minimum req above their strength) even though they cannot really use it.
b can be very very annoying sometimes, but not as annoying as when they pick up stuff you want to get rid of but cannot sell, then you take it from them and drop again.. again they pick it up.... ect ect..