Official 9/11 Joke Thread - Possibly Offensive

This is the official joke thread. People who think 9/11 isn't something you should joke at should stay out of this thread.

Now, I want to see the original picture Rat Keeng posted... the reaction it got made me pretty curious.

 

POSSIBLY offensive?!? :cry:

 

FUCKING A! Calis, you are THE MAN!

Bring on the jokes people! I haven't got anything now, but you can bet I can add to something later on.

 

I didn't think something that simple could wreck such havoc. Other people saw it and thought it humerous, didn't give it no second thought. So anyway...

 

Q: What does WTC stand for?
A: "What Trade Center?"

Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds

Q: Why do tourists flock to New York?
A: It's a blast

The FBI has just identified the man who trained the hijackers: Dale Earnhardt.

At the World Trade Center restaurant, they offere three seating areas: smoking, non-smoking and burned beyond recognition.

They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC: they have found 5000 extra pairs of hands...

New York, New York, so good they hit it twice

American Airlines is now offering sight seeing tours of Manhattan!

Q: What is world most efficient airline?
A: American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15...be in your office in New York 8:48!

Q: What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones head sitting in 90th floor of the WTC ?
A: The 91st floor.....

Q: What was the last thing going through Mr. Smiths head sitting in 110th floor of the WTC ?
A: The radio mast...

America's new math:
Q: Now how many sides to a Pentagon?
A: 4

If one side of the Pentagon has collapsed, will it now be renamed "The Square"?

It should be renamed "The Penta-gone"/It should be renamed "Manflatten"

Famous last words: "Amal, was this tower here yesterday?"

American Airline's pilot announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be landing on New York in about 10 minutes....."

Well, this proves one thing.... New Yorkers really come together in a crunch

Today FBI concluded that New York had been hit by a U.F.M (unidentified flying muslim)

Q: What did one terrorist say to the other terrorist before boarding their respective airplanes?
A: I slam, you slam, we all slam for Islam!

NEWSFLASH.... The WTC has been destroyed.... thousands of New York executives feared dead.... Hookers all across the city are in mourning.....

"25,000 sq. ft. Office space for rent. Recently renovated. New Air Conditioning unit. Needs TLC. Contact me at One World Trade Centre. 85th Floor, Room 18."

"It's a bird!" "It's a plane!" "It's.... Oh fuck, it IS a plane!"

Q: Why didn't Superman stop the planes from hitting the Trade Towers?
A: Because he's a quadriplegic!

Q: What's the area code of the World Trade Center?
A: 220 (two to zero).

Q: What should have tipped off the ticket sellers?
A: When the terrorists asked if there was anything cheaper than one-way.

Q: What was the quickest escape time from the World Trade Center?
A: Ten seconds flat.

Q: How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up?
A: The rest of your life

Q: Why are police and firemen New York's finest?
A: Because now you can run them through a sieve.

Optimism, as you fall past the 20th floor you shout "I'm not hurt yet"

How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb? God knows, they keep jumping out the window when it gets too hot

What's the number one drink served on United Airlines? Flaming Manhattan

What music do they play in the elevator in the WTC? Jump and It's Raining Men

Floor 106...... you ARE the weakest link.... goodbye....

What color were the pilots eyes? Blue. One blew this way the other blew that way

What team does Bin Laden support? The New York Jets

Where do Americans go on vacation? All over Manhattan

How many Americans died in the WTC 1 year ago? who gives a fuck

What's the difference between Wembley and New York? Wembley's still got their twin towers.

What's the difference between the attack on New York and the Oklahoma City Bombing? - Again foreigners prove they can do it better and more efficiently......

Then there's the retarded terrorist who tried to crash the A-Train into the World Trade Center..........

Yassar Arraffat and many other PLO members together with people from other Muslim nations are *Volunteering* to give blood for the victims of the tragedy... I guess they'll have some *Volunteers* to Fly the blood in too!

Last words from Airline pilot "Right a bit, hey the trade centre, my brother works there...lets look just a bit closer...."

The FBI have arrested the head of advertising at the Empire State Building for involvement in the WTC disaster. A spokesman said he was caught with 'Empire State: We're Back!!!' T-shirts in his office...

Top 10 Good Things About The WTC Attack
10. There are now 18 fewer Arab taxi drivers terrorizing the streets.
9. Flight training schools proved that they are expensive but worth it.
8. People are learning how to spell "Afghanistan" correctly.
7. Plenty of parking available at airports now.
6. Jerry Springer Show was off the air for a whole week.
5. Sales for U.S. flags are way up.
4. Several new job openings now at NYPD and NYFD.
3. Much lower electric bills for Manhattan.
2. Home videos of the WTC attack more spectacular than Arnold Schwarzenegger's last 5 movies.
And the number one...
1. Some great new unobstructed views of Manhattan now.

 

right

classic.

Calis was right.

 

Laugh this off....

And the Quote I most agree with from PM Blair:

So enjoy all the laughs at our expense fellas cause the LAST laugh is just about on it's way here..... :nod:

 

Q: why does USA , who has NEVER got attacked on their mainland by another COUNTRY , call their department for making war on other countries , the "ministry of DEFENSE"????

A: ........

 

Ahem...JAPAN on Pearl Harbour? Or you're not considering it because it wasn't specifically on *land*?

Christ almighty. Pick up a history book.

If you want to go back far enough, you could also include England and "The Confederacy" (they considered themselves another country for a while.)

There've been other mini-wars as well. Many native-american states considered themselves seperate "countries," in addition.

As for an answer to your question, I can only guess that it has something to do with the idea of "The best defense is a good offense" or some such notion. Note I am not defending the notion, just answering your question.

Also please do note that the US is not the only country in the civilized world that calls its war department something related to its "defense."

 

Can we knock off the serious arguments and stick to semi-offensive bullshit, please? Thanks.

 

I laugh, yet I feel guilty for doing so. :-?

Calis - that's got to be the funniest thing anyone has ever said on this forum.