who needs a laugh

The US declared war on us because we were sore losers? I think not.

1812 was yet another example of France suckering you into doing stuff for them. We wanted to blockade Napolean, and somehow France convinced you to defend them.

The criminal thing was all a misunderstanding. Those people were holiday makers. South Africa and India were both successful colonies. India now supplies all our best Doctors and Dentists. South Africa supplies (in my case) people to share houses with.

It's a cleverly designed head-launched tactical nuke. We're on the cutting edge here.

 

Here's a joke:

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
............
............
............
............
Cause it was dead!

Why did the weasle fall out of the tree?
............
............
............
............
Cause it was stapled to the monkey!

 

heh... that was actually funny... i think there's something wrong with me...

 

You sir, are Wrong,wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong. It it is cause it let go!!!

 

Just searching the net shen i found this funny pageA woman answered her front door and found two little boys
holding a list.

"Lady," one of them explained, "we're on a scavenger hunt,
and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone
and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar."

"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging
hunt?"

"Our baby-sitter's boyfriend."


Three guys, a Pakistani, a Srilankan and an Indian are out walking together
one day. When they come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total" says the Genie.

The Srilankan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will
also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Sri Lanka."

With a blink of the Genie's eye,
'FOOM' the land in Sri Lanka was forever made fertile for farming.

The Paki was amazed, so he said,
"I want a wall around Pakistan, so that no foreigners can come into our
precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was
a huge wall around Pakistan.

The Indian asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and
completely surrounds the state. Nothing can get in or out."

The Indian says, "Fill it up with water."

Three guys and a girl are marooned on a desert island. After
one week, the girl is so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills
herself.

After another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they're
doing, they bury her.

After yet another week, they're so ashamed of what they're
doing, they dig her up again.

 

This is the entrance of the thread
"who need's a laugh".

Are you:

21 and above? ENTER HERE

Under 21? Exit Here

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: kcwong on 2002-03-25 13:52 ]</font>

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: kcwong on 2002-03-25 13:53 ]</font>

 

Two guys are out hiking. After a week they're sick of each other, so they decide to split up and meet again at an appointed spot.
When they rejoin, the first guy asks, "So how was your hike?"
The second guy says," It was all right. I saw a lot of wildlife. I even got chased by a bear! How was your hike?"
"The greatest experience of my life! I was hiking along, and I came out of the woods, and there was a railroad track in front of me. I started walking down the track, and I saw this beautiful girl. She was tied to the tracks! So I ran over and untied her, we went back into the woods, and made love in every position yu can think of."
"Wow! Did she give you head?"
"Funny thing about that. I never did find her head."

 

Here's a joke:

Q: Why did Feldon Kane cross the road?

A: TO GET HIS ASS TO #TA-REGULARS ON IRC.

EDIT - *checks who's online* The same goes for you, mrnobodie. And this so-called, quote-unquote, *does quote-unquote motion with fingers* "Guest".

_________________
*Ignore any and all typos in the above post. All you pedantic fucker's, can take you're little spelling hang-ups write over their.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Milo on 2002-03-25 23:08 ]</font>

 

:rofl:
i got those questions wrong as well, curse my dirty little mind.

 

i like your dirty little mind...

 

:lol: stop it, you tramp you.

 

*Giggles* You tease!

Oh, wait, wrong account!

:grin:

Okay, here's my joke:

A blonde and a brunette are walking through the forest. The brunette says "Look, a dead bird!"

The blonde looks up at the sky and says "Where?"

 

don't make me hurt you... not that way, you pervert!!!

 

I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia, and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts.

 

This actually happened at Harvard University in October of last year.

In a biology class, the Prof. was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?" "That's correct," responded the Prof., going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class...and was never to return. However, as she was going out the door, the Prof.'s reply was classic. Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat."

 

-LoL- :lol: