Come out, Come out, whereever you Jar

OHHHH that has got to burn

 

*quote* I hate bouncers, you bastard! If I ever meet you in real life I'll ... I'll ... I'll quietly walk up to you, trying to avoid eye contact and raise my arms to make it easier for you to frisk me. When you contemptuously wave me past, I'll smile gratefully, like you've done me some kind of favour. *quote*

onder:

*edit* you make it sound like vics vapour has another use.
_________________
do you feel me poking you in the back?, here's my hands out here, now, can you still feel it?

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: mrnobodie on 2002-03-20 12:40 ]</font>

 

What randiness?

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Qilikatal on 2002-03-20 13:12 ]</font>

 

Slaggirl, I'm not sure that the position is available. Vlad is already Head of Security.

Qilkatal, I'll have to think about it. Again, though, are you over drinking age? Please do not apply if you aren't - Milo's farms will beckon if you do.

(This next bit is sick, just warning the kiddies)...

Rosenshyne, I may have a position just right for you. I have a one-eyed snake that needs a full-time carer. His name is Dick, and he's a jan-u-wine cyclops. He likes people to pet him all day long...

 

I apply for the job of Minister of Ministering Punishment to Morons and Compulsive Liars. As can already be seen here, we have many Morons and Compulsive Liars in our mist. They require punishment. My qualifications:

1. I am not a moron.
2. I am not a compulsive liar.
3. I know how to use a gun.
4. I dislike morons and liars.
5. I can legally drink.
6. I am an excellent judge of character and an excellent lie detector.
7. I am perfectly willing to be denounced by the Government and be paid through blinds.
8. I know how to most effectively punish people.
9. I am an excellent pain-inducer (stun gun on the balls! Yeah!)
10. I know when lieing needs to be done and does not.
11. I know who my first target would be.
12. I can hurt people *flexes muscles*

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Langy on 2002-03-20 23:57 ]</font>

 

Fear the monkey! MUahahHAhAHAHHAHAHAAA!!!



Now, if only I could find that monkey-sized space suit...

The arms race has begun:

 

I got over the drinking age at 11 september. Did anyone see the fireworks that i ordered?

 

As the Head of Security it is already my position to do these things.

BTW, you can look forward to using those muscles of yours at Milo's farms. Unless of course ThreeDogs decides you are needed to feed the rats in his prisons.

 

Can I be an assasin? Or a soldier?

 

gamenut, you can be my assistant. I am sure that with Jarinor as our leader there will be many attempts on his life as well as numerous mouths to permanantly silence. :rifle:

 

I don't want to be an assistant. I'd like to be an assasin. I hate to protect people.

 

Well, quite frankly gamenut, I prefer people are able to legally drink alcohol before they take up a position of responsibility in the government.

I also didn't realise how eager you guys were to be communists. Yes, I'll need some 'inconvenient' hardcore rich capitalists taken out, so that's where the Secret Police come in.

As it stands, I have only two posts filled - Director of Security (aka Secret Police), Vlad the Imposter. Minister for Information, Sheriff Fatman.

From now on, requests must be actually realistic, and a couple of sentences on why you would be suited for the position (sorry Calis, Evil Dictator isn't available).

 

In my prisons the re-education of misguided comrads entails a vigorous and complete commitment by the bourgeoisie tainted individual to work. This means if they want to eat they must catch the rat.

 

Vlad - Minister of Security entails catching the people, not beating them.

Also, if you desire to not have a Minister of Ministering Punishment to Morons and Compulsive Liars I shall apply for being the Minister of War Vehicle and Weaponry Design. My qualifications:

1. I'm already going into Aerospace Engineering.
2. I don't want to work the farms.
3. I can make cool shit.
4. I do not care if the Weaponry or War Vehicles are moral or not. If they win, they win.
5. I'm a commie.

 

That's where you are wrong. As the Minister of Security it is my job to remove any and all security threats. If I do not beat, kill, or imprison them then they will be free to become a threat again. Also, it is not good for my image if I let people think I am soft.

As a side note I gained some insight into airport security in the past couple of days. I now know that large-framed, white males with a goatee, dressed in khakis are obviously terrorists and must be stopped at every check point and separated from their shoes. I am lead to believe that their shoes are the source of their power and the removal of the shoes for extended periods of time renders the terrorist ineffective.

 

i would like to point out that anyone who argues with the minister of security has a rather large chance of disappearing... and i'm not just saying that because i'm his loyal assistant... :grin:

 

Not disappearing per se. Just unrecognizable.

Jar, have you established a name for this soon to be country?

 

I guess I will be nothing.

1. I am too young according to Jarinor.
2. I am too young to hold a government posistion.
3. I am too young to drink an intoxicating beverage.
4. I am just too young.
5. Jarinor is very mean.