Smuel's good morning extravaganza

Good jorb!

Only problem is you don't look very elf-like any more. Will you be entering a cutting cycle now, or should we change your name to Dark Orc?

Good morning.

 

You could try a merging of elf and orc. For example Dork elf. Mork vom Ork. Orkan.

 

You could have Dark Chonk if you prefer.

Good morning.

 

Or just Orky Dorky, right?

Oh. And good morning.

 

In the words of our very own Paul Blart Mall Cop wannabe:

Nope.

Good morning.

 

Why not? And good morning.

 

Achievement unlocked: Beast mode.

Good morning.

 

I managed 3 plates on Sunday, too. One with a Schnitzel, a second with Pomme Frittes and a 3rd with the Salad...

 

I've ate a homemade kebab

Good morning and bon appetite.

 

Does anyone else find that there is something distasteful about first person shooter World War II based games?

There are some people still alive who experienced WW2, so it feels like it's a slap in the face to them. "Hey, do you remember when you were 19 and were given a rifle and spent two years being driven around France while utterly terrified for your life? That experience has been made into a hyper realistic video game where it looks like that but life threatening injuries are a mild inconvenience!"

I realise that kids running around pointing their fingers and shouting "Bang you're dead" has been a staple of playground entertainment since forever, and that I regularly play games where I send thousands of virtual soldiers to fight to the virtual death against other virtual soldiers, so in a very real sense I'm a hypocrite. But in another very real sense it's completely different, because the premise of those games isn't "Now you can imagine that you would have been a total badass if you'd been conscripted to fight against the Nazis when you were 19!"

I suppose what I'm saying is that I think a game like Chess is a closer approximation to being a medieval general, than a game like Medal Of Duty: Heroic Brothers is an approximation of being a WW2 soldier. The games don't capture anything like the experience of being a WW2 soldier*, and yet that is the entire premise of their marketing. I'm fine with war games in principle. I'd be fine with any of those games if they were the exact same game but set in a fictional equivalent of that time period. But setting them in actual World War II? The actual global conflict that killed millions of real people less than 100 years ago? Dude, come on.

I dunno, I'm probably being a wimpy liberal for no reason. And also a hypocrite.

Anyway, good morning.

* Disclaimer: I have neither been a WW2 soldier, nor played any of those games.

 

Yes, I know what you mean. They make WW2 look like it's thrilling, adventurous, where you can start all over again when you are dead and quite heroic. All in good fun and for entertainment.

In the real world? Not even close. Most of the soldiers were very young (18, 19 or have lied about their age to go and fight) and inexperienced. Heck, it is probably the first time that some of them even have hold a rifle or gun. No idea what they got themselves into.

They have faced terrifying situations and were shit-scared. What they must have went through at the beaches of Normandy on D-Day. Snipers, landmines, machine guns and no cover. Most of the men in the first wave never stood a chance.

Soldiers who never set foot on Europe (or in the Pacific) before and therefore had to deal with unfamiliar territories. Not to mention the temperatures and diseases. Or even those who have liberated those camps. They never will forget the evils what man can do.

Oh. and good morning.

 

Exactly. I feel the same way about movies that put superheroes into those types of conflict. They have a similar problem, since nobody who was actually there had super-healing or invulnerability or what have you. To add insult to injury, the films portray Wonder Woman (in WW1) or Captain America (in WW2) or Wolverine (in both) as MORE heroic than the ordinary people fighting alongside them. That's a load of crap. It doesn't take guts to charge at a machine gun when you're effectively immune to bullets, it takes guts to do it when you're just a regular schmuck.

Good morning.

 

I do love a WWII game: The Saboteur. It has a Sin City-ish atmosphere (depending on how strong is the presence of nazis is in the area you're roaming) and a juicy mix of GTA and Assassins Creed.

Plus I've read some Garth Ennis comic books about that war. One in particular struck to my mind, "War Stories: Condors". I bet you would like it.

Anyway I totally understand what you mean. Hollywood fiction difficultly can be a medium for depicting wars.

Have you also noticed Vietnam war in media mostly takes the side of America? I've yet to find a Vietnam war story of fiction where the protagonist isn't an american Joe....

Good morning Arcanum

 

While we're on the subject of things I don't like about superhero movies. I also object to when they give someone a paralyzing injury, and then magically cure it, for no good reason. Like Tony Stark gets upset because his friend James Rhodes is paralyzed. Oh no, poor Rhodey! Except that in the next scene he's walking around just fine, mumble mumble something implants. Like - why did you even bother? Either make it a non-permanent injury, so he can recover normally, or make it a permanent one, so that Tony can be legitimately upset about it, but don't trivialize paralysis by trying to have it both ways. Real paralyzed people have to deal with their condition their entire lives.

The silliest example of this is when they decided that Professor X isn't really paralyzed, it's just that his legs don't work if he decides to use his cool powers, for some illogical reason. Oh no, that poor man who has the option to walk around normally if he wants to! Way to take the depth out of the character.

I guess the lesson here is that I really am just a nitpicking spoilsport at heart. Oh well.

Good morning.

 

Superheroes sucks. Antiheroes are way better.

Good morning.

 

I had a dream last night, that the CIA wanted some information from me, so they got Sasha Grey to try to seduce it out of me, but I knew that's why she was there so I refused to play along, and instead we lay in bed and cuddled.

Ugh, it could have been one of the most awesome dreams in history, but nooo… stupid brain.

Good morning.

 

I like cuddles.

Good morning.

 

It's not so much that I am anti-cuddle, it's more that I am mindful of what economists would call the opportunity cost of the chosen dream path.

Good morning.