Smuel's good morning extravaganza

I'm not your buddy, friend!

 

You forgot to say good morning!

 

110 pages and I have never once said it. To do so now would be like giving in.

 

99 pages and Zanza ain't one.

Good morning.

 

Good morrow, yo.

He's not your friend, guy...

 

Evening now. So Good Morning the ones of you that have a morning you wierdos.

He's bnot your guy, mate.

 

Jesus, did we really cover this forum for 5 years of licensing only one and a half years ago? Meaning we have almost three and a half years of this left?

I propose someone volunteers to post inappropriate and possibly Trump-related content on the hour every hour until we receive backing from the Alt-Right movement, and with their backing we can turn this into another meme-ridden cesspit to secure our legacy. We may see a 3D Arcanum game where the main character resembles Pepe the Frog, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. Agreed?

Good Morning!

 

So on Saturday I was at work. My partner and I had spotted a stolen vehicle that always drives offend we never catch. In Australia our pursuit powers have been put on hold because people don't get out of the way of Police cars here and they end up getting hurt.

We located the stolen car in heavy traffic and figured it was our chance to drive up the side and at least see the driver so we could grab him later. Well the one time the public decide to help Police on the road, they edge out of the way giving the suspect the chance to break out of traffic and drive away. Thanks members of the public.

We see the vehicle drive into a street and figured instead of chasing we'll come in the other side and cut him off. Well that planned worked, he was stuck behind a car and between to higher than normal gutters. We pulled up in front and got out of the vehicle thinking "you beauty he is stuck". My initial plan was to smash the windscreen so he couldn't see and then drag him out the driver side window.

Well old mate activated his fight or flight mode, choosing flight. He rammed the car in front of him then mounted the median strip, driving straight at me. At that time I had made an assessment about the size, height and width of the vehicle, the speed it was travelling and the driver's intention. I knew I would be unable to step or jump to the side, dodging the vehicle so I made the only decision I could that would save me from going under the vehicle.

As the vehicle charged towards me I thought to myself "nope, not today, not like this". I jumped towards the windscreen of the vehicle, landing my right arm and body into the passenger side of the windscreen. The vehicle carried me a couple of metres before I was able to roll to my left, off the windscreen and vehicle. As I landed on the road, my right leg was run over by the rear passenger side wheel of the vehicle. The wheel went straight over my ankle and shin.

I barely felt the vehicle, wondering if it had even driven over me. I rolled backwards and quickly jumped to my feet in case the suspect had decided to reverse to finish the job. The vehicle drove away on the opposite side of the road and was later located with a smashed windscreen and my blood over it. As I stood on the road, I immediately felt pain to my legs, mainly my right ankle and shin. I hobbled to my patrol car in an effort to sit down but the seats where too high up. I hobbled over to the bus stop across the road and sat down.

My partner was freaking out over what he had just seen. Blood pouring down my arm, I told him he needed to be calm for the both of us because I am probably in shock and I'm gonna need him to perform observations on me. I called on my radio for an ambulance, then I gave a quick situation report for our colleague to continue the search. A short time later I was conveyed to the hospital and X-rays were performed.

Turns out nothing was broken, at last my unusually elastic joints had paid off. I attribute the strong bones to the amount of chocolate milk I drink. My hands and arms are covered in lacerations and abrasions, my legs and bruised and swollen but more importantly I am alive.

The moral of this story is I am now off for a week or two and I'll have time to revisit Arcanum on Steam.

Some would say I did not have a good morning.

 

That sounds particularly intense, hats of to you for putting yourself on the line for your work. I hope you have a speedy recovery and enjoy your time off, as well as now having at least one or two...

Good mornings.

PS If only we'd known that horrible accidents were the key to making you say good morning sooner...

 

Wow, dude, that is an amazing story well told - I was on the edge of my seat. Good job on the Akira jump manouver - I've occasionally wondered whether that would work in real life. Glad you're not seriously injured.

We now return to your regularly scheduled snarky comments.

HAHA U GOT RUN OVER, POLIS SUX, CRIMS 4 LYF

Good morning.

 

Sometimes I wonder if my life isn't too boring, but then I remember that excitement is often another way of describing awful shit.

Good evening.

 

I had to make a Steam account in order to pre-order Tyranny, and now I feel dirty.

Good morning.

 

I've quit my job.

Good morning.

 

Were you the sexual harasser or the sexual harasee?

Good morning.

 

Hah, nice. No, I work in IT so there is no sexuality anywhere to be found. It's a completely sterile environment. Everyone is so PC-conscious that even making jokes is frowned upon, in case they offend someone. That's why I had to leave - they were stifling my creativity, man!

Good morning.

 

I take it you are now dedicating yourself to the arts?

Good morning.

 

I always find childish levity the best way to handle news about people's life changing decisions. To slightly echo Ruda, what greener pastures are you moving to?

Good morning.

 

Good morning.

 

More like dedicating myself to the ass!

Wait, that sounded gay.

Oh well, when in Rome, etc...

Good morning.

 

And good morning to you. I thought that the tree got you as well.