Smuel's good morning extravaganza

So I know we like to answer some large and open ended philosophical and often meaningful questions around here, and earlier I thought of perhaps one of the most important questions that could ever be asked on this forum.

Would you have sex with, or enter into a relationship with, someone with the same surname as you? They can be your ideal partner in terms of personality and looks, and when you both trace your lineages back you can't see any ties up to say your great grandparents' generation - however in this scenario you have no way of knowing how much DNA you might share, beyond the mathematical certainty you're more likely to share a sizeable proportion.

While you think on the most important of questions, I hope you have a Good Morning.

 

Asking on behalf of a friend I presume?

 

Yeah, totally, on behalf of a friend, obviously..

No I have a fairly uncommon (though not rare) surname, so I think my likelihood of semi-incest becomes a little higher than if you were a Johnson. My dad once told me he had an electrician round with the last name "Ebenezerson", I think in that case it's fairly safe to assume even if you didn't know the person they are probably a third cousin or something.

Good morning.

 

My surname is super common so it wouldn't bother me at all.

Good afternoon.

 

I shagged someone with the same surname as a great-great ancestor once. It was hawt.

It's not like one surname carries any more DNA than any other ancestor's. Plus, it's not like you English haven't been marrying your cousins for millennia, then just started acting precious about it just a century ago. And that chap in Journey to the Center of the Earth was just waiting to bang his cousin the whole book, that's the only reason he humored his insane uncle.

If you're just picking at loose threads in our decaying civilisation then spoiler alert - they are all coming undone.

Let me tell you a story, my ninjas, about a shitty little white-bred town in buttfuck nowhere. I moved there for a while because it matched my venn diagrams on google maps but everyone else lived and died there because that's where they were born.

Anyway, the potato shaped neighbor sure acted like he was fucking his sister, and the manager of the local KFC was arrested for shooting porn with her dog. I don't know about cannibalism, they'd probably just chop you up and burn you out there, but I gather that particular taboo is more of a city-folk kink.

Of course, the first, the most essential, and the least noticed casualty of our fractured and collapsing culture has been common courtesy.

Good morning.

 

When my cousin was in college, he was dating a girl and they found out that they were third cousins (shared great-great grandparents). Not a BFD, genetically speaking, but we all gave him so much shit about it that she might as well have been his first cousin. Point being, if you share the same last name but don't know each other, you're probably not closely enough related for it to matter genetically; but it looks bad, and other people may have a hard time getting past it, assuming you can get past it yourself.

 

There's a story in my family history of a man and a woman with the same surname who went away together for a little while and then came back and said they had got married. And then after they had died their relations were looking through their belongings and there was no marriage certificate! And they were shocked and scandalised that this couple had possibly been living in sin! This was early last century in a very upstanding Christian community - everyone alive today is more amused than anything.

Still I suppose the implied element of in-breeding in my ancestry explains a few things.

Good morning.

 

Knowing Jobo I'm thinking the molecular non-issue is of less interest than the social conventions.

I mean if you double down on the dna too much, it's pretty obvious on account of the mutant babies.

My attitude is that the stars are now aligned and men shall glory in madness and destruction like gods, but that's not really constructive.

Also, knowing you Jobo, I'm just going to go ahead and answer your next question. German Shepherd.

Good morning.

 

What kind of dog did she... oh wait, never mind.

Good morning.

 

If that is the end of the good morning extravaganza then my point is proved rather neatly.

So Long And... Thanks For All The Fish.

 

Wait... why would you think it's the end of the thread? I agree that 2016 is turning out to be pretty bad in some ways, but things haven't quite got to the point where there will never be any more good mornings. Have they?

Good morning.

 

No.

Good day.

 

I BID YOU GOOD DAY

 

Good morning! It is currently 12AM but I'm sure this thread does not care about the actual time. Unless I have misinterpreted it...

 

I woke up this morning with a terrible headache for no apparent reason. Then on the way into work I was stung in the neck by a wasp.

But no, no. You haven't misunderstood the nature of the thread. It's a good morning for someone, somewhere.

Good morning.

 

For the wasp, I'd imagine.

It's often wise to hook up with dynasty members as you'll end up with fewer non dynastic claimants.

Good morning.

 

Especially if you're a Zoroastrian! Good morning!

 

I'm starting to wonder whether ytzk was right. Isn't this how self-fulfilling prophecies work?

Good morning.

 

I shall endeavor to post more often, simply to prove him wrong.

If there's one thing that the internet is great at, it's getting people to do stuff for no other reason than to be contrary.

Good evening.

 

Another beautiful Army day.

Good morning!