Nighttime Fun-Time

So have you ever been woken up at 4 am by a complete stranger wanting directions? No? Then be glad you don't live in the shithole that I do!

Some guy in the middle of the night rang my doorbell about 15 times (also my doorbell features an actual bell, making it much noisier than the muted electronic tones most have), and so when I actually got to the door - thinking it would be an emergency of some sort but also having a bottle nearby in case it was some crazy who I needed to bash in - I was surprised to find some cunt asking for directions! He didn't even say "sorry for waking you" or "please" or "thanks" once - he was a complete dick. He persuaded me to ring a taxi for him, which I did but of course no firm I knew of was open at that time, and I told him he should wait outside a nearby church ("Can't I just wait here?" - no you can't, you shouldn't be bothering people in the middle of the night). You may ask why I even bothered, but he could have kept ringing my doorbell until police arrived if it came to that.

Next after failing to ring for a taxi, I printed off some directions, but by that point the fucker had gone. Through my sense of civic responsibility I checked at the church - after all it's a bit heartless leaving a guy on the street at night - thinking he would have gone there already to wait for the taxi (I also packed a knife in case this was his plan all along and I needed to gut the fucker). He wasn't even there! I then rang the police because of how unusual the whole thing was, just to warn them in case he was some thief/escaped mental patient.

It's not like I'm in a central location, I live in a quiet suburban out of the way area of my city, he really had no reason to come to my house. The only reason why he might is because I live in a semi-detached split into two flats; my flat is the upstairs one and yet it's the first door you come to, my neighbour's flat is the downstairs one even though it's the side door - and she had her light on maybe making him think we were still up. Regardless, you don't fucking do that at 4 am in the fucking morning! Not only that, I've got the exams for my penultimate year of my degree in just over two weeks so the least thing I need is a night of sketchy sleep when I've got to spend the majority of my day revising.

Anyway, rant over. I just thought I share my account of pretty unparalleled weirdness. Anyone else ever had an unwelcome night visiter, or am I alone in being privy to this extreme pleasure?

 

If Hollywood has taught me anything, it's that in a couple of weeks you'll be in a relationship with this man.

 

I sincerely hope not (or do I?)...

 

It's always been a fun time during night but we must take care of ourselves.

 

greatest spambot

 

I can't decide whether this new account's name is Stepheni X or Stephen IX, and therefore it is hard to know whether I should be volunteering to take care of them at night.

Perhaps a photo would help.

 

I woke up at 4 AM last night for no apparent reason whatsoever.

 

It could also be Stephanix like Matrix or Robotix.

 

I was woken up by a chicken today.

It went bukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukbukBUKURK!
Again and again... forever.

I swear, it would not stop. It. Would. Not. Stop.

If my chest had been a cannon I would have shot my heart upon it.

 

If my dick were a crossbow I would shoot my arrows of love upon Stephani X.

 

If my dick were a crossbow, I can pretty much guarantee that I'd either masturbate a lot more or a lot less; but I couldn't even begin to make the decision until it happens.

 

I used to be witty like you until I took a Smuel dick-crossbow bolt in the knee.

 

If you ever find yourself on the island of Kauai in the Hawaiian islands, you may want to invest in some ear plugs. Some chickens got turned loose by a hurricane back in the 90's, and now the island is crawling with them. It's no strange thing to see a dozen roosters strutting through a parking lot. And contrary to popular belief, roosters don't only crow at sunrise. They crow whenever the fuck they feel like it.

Many have suggested that the chickens should be captured and eaten. The locals say the best way to cook a Kauai chicken is to put it in a pot with a rock, fill the pot with water and boil it. Then eat the rock.

 

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." Hebrews 13:2

 

I can assure you he was not an angel - he was just a fucking weirdo. Regardless I entertained him the best I could by attempting to give him directions despite his incredible rudeness, so I don't see what point you're attempting to make.

 

Thank god this non-religious thread no longer lacks bible quotes.

 

Amen to that.

 

Reading what you wrote made me think of the verse... And how do you know that he wasn't an angel that behaving that way to test you? Angel or not, the only thing of important is how you behaved.

 

He did. Look it up.

 

Where's that quote from?