Top Trump the shit out of this christmas with HOL.

HoHoHo and merry christmas.
I'm making top trump cards for each of you this christmas. Any image requests or opinions may be voiced here although I imagine they won't be.

 

Actually, notwithstanding that Herwulfpoo is a sociopathic loser whose desperate and abrasive pleas for attention have lost all of their former shock value and are now akin to muted squeaks apathetically phoned in, this idea does have some merit.

Stats: Persistence, Originality, Post Length, Popularity

Xyle: . . . . . 4 . . . . . . . 7 . . . . . . . 10 . . . . . . . 3
Gross: . . . . 6 . . . . . . . 9 . . . . . . . 6 . . . . . . . . 7
Zanza: . . . . 7 . . . . . . . 4 . . . . . . . 1 . . . . . . . . 5
HWLFP: . . . 9 . . . . . . . 3 . . . . . . . 3 . . . . . . . 1
TDC: . . . . . 5 . . . . . . . 6 . . . . . . . 9 . . . . . . . . 6
DarkFool: . . 8 . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . 10
Frigo: . . . . . 8 . . . . . . 8 . . . . . . . 4 . . . . . . . 8
Muro: . . . . . 7 . . . . . . 5 . . . . . . . 3 . . . . . . . 9

Actually, now that I've realised it means I have to rank you all in order of popularity and originality, I've realised that this is a terrible idea. I'll post this table anyway as a monument to foolishness, but bear in mind I didn't spend that long thinking about it, and mainly just banged out some numbers that were different from each other.

 

MEH

 

Would you like fries with your triple post, Bokoshellion?

 

I didn't even rank. Neither did DavisChanger or Mesteut.

Having an empty blackness as an avatar sure sucks.

 

Now I'm Richard Dean Anderson. RDA is cool, right?

 

Well, TDC is in the list as "TDC". I did remember you, but wasn't so sure how to rank you, and that was around the time when I realised the dangers of the exercise.

Don't recognise the name Mesteut though.

 

Mesteut only wrote six posts in 2011, last one about seven months ago. How could you abandon us like that, Mete?

 

Xyle is definitely a 10 on post length. Not so sure about TDC, though. I'm sure the "9" was heavily influenced by the most recent thread, but the average is much lower. I actually think I could be higher as far as length goes, because I ramble. The scale itself is confusing, as it seems the higher numbers are better for 3 of 4 categories, while post length seems to be more appreciated on a smaller number. Though, you did say you just threw the thing together.

 

Yeah, I could probably swap you and TDC for post length. I was going to add wayne-scales to the list too, but realised that his posting style has changed from a few months ago. He used to write long screeds about logic and philosophy, now it's mostly one liners. So... post length? It's anyone's guess.

Also, I couldn't do myself, due to, you know, modesty. And short arms.

 

It's far more complicated that just that. Both high and low numbers in each category come with serious benefits and drawbacks. After countless hours of thorough analysis of the table, experts have estimated that Persistence is best to be kept at 7, Originality at 5, Post Length at 3 and Popularity at 9.

 

How can DF get a higher popularity than Muro?

 

Nothing says Christmas like a self-referential forum standing circle jerk session.

 

Well, considering no one has those particular numbers...oh, wait. I see what you did there. However, if I take the total and compare it to Xyle's, you two are pretty similar. 12 + 12 is 24. So's 11 + 13.

 

You bet. "GI Joe" wasn't a cool enough name back in the day, so I called my GI Joes MacGuyver.

I've got the reach to get you done:
Stats: Persistence, Originality, Post Length, Popularity
Smuel: . . . . . 6 . . . . . . . 10 . . . . . . . 3 . . . . . . . 5

EDIT

Agreed. My recent activity is a testament to the fact that I slide into support roles more naturally than leadership roles, but in a drought, I will step up.

 

6? That's my persistence level, and I've not been banned...yet. Smuel kept coming back, admittedly for the right reason, but most other people would simply use a proxy and make one other account to tell us we're fuckheads or whatever, and even that only happens when they're really butthurt. However, when a person actually composes a song to respond to being banned, I'm definitely going to agree with the originality score.
Though, I'm not sure how I'd quantify persistence here. When I started, there were so many active members willing to drop something in GD or the actual game forums I'd average 7 posts per day. That's more along the lines of "Having opinions," or perhaps with me, personalizing a thread.

 

So crank his persistence up to be on par with Zanza's and Muro's?

 

Since I don't know how the figures were wrangled in the first place (and even Smuel said he just put numbers on a table), I'm going to say probably.

 

I've been banned before and I managed to continue to post even though I had the void avatar. Chalk that up for persistence. As for originality I can only assume a little jealously was involved in that assessment.

 

I remember when you were banned and were able to keep posting, it was pretty interesting.
A little jealousy? No, I don't find myself original, so I'm flattered to have a nine. Are you saying his rap wasn't a more clever response to being banned than "Fuck you guys, I'm never coming back!" and then coming back again anyway?