Embarrassing Stories of Being Drunk

I think the title explains it all, what's the worst thing you've done whilst drunk?

I've got two:

Last Christmas I was quite drunk, and went to the toilet in the middle of the night. Unfortunately upon returning from the toilet I got confused as to where my bedroom was (on account of the intoxication) and instead ended up naked in bed with my fiancée's brother. I think he may be scarred for life, only being 17 at the time.

Another time (I was probably about 13, shamefully) I awoke in the middle of the night, and was sick underneath my pillow; I then went back to sleep. It was only when I extended my arms beneath said pillow in the morning and touched a substance that was cold and chunky when I realised what I had done.

Those are my stories, now you go.

 

http://terra-arcanum.com/phpBB/viewtopi ... highlight=

 

So what, do you want me to bump that thread and let this one be deleted? If that's desirable I can do, I just dislike bothering DF on account of his furious wrath. Furthermore who's edited Xiao_Caity's signature? Considering you posted this up wayne I'm thinking it's a filthy conspiracy centred around you.

 

Um, okay...

My best friend's buck's night. Tequilaed my brains out on an empty stomach within the first thirty minutes.

[footage missing]

Woke up in the car park the next day, missing one half of the best pair of shoes ever and some skin from my forehead.

Okay, not such a great story, but you should have seen the 15 hrs of missing footage!

 

Many years ago I passed out once after drank four beers, a whole bottle of red wine and a half bottle of white wine.

At school, we always went to a converted farmhouse. One night we had a dropping. (First blindfolded and dropped somewhere far from where you came from. Then they will remove your blindfold, and you have to find the way back.) Moreover, friend and me had beer, rum, and weed with us.

We arrived very late (5 o'clock in the morning), and I went to the bedroom of my girlfriend to look for her. What I have done there? I really have no idea.

However, the thing is that they would not tell me what I have done.

 

My guess is you took part in the gang-bang of a hooker in there.

 

No idea why my post was last. "Oh, Gross made out with a fat chick...can't top that."

The G word that is spelled suspiciously as the inverse of dog was censored by replacing it with Muro. Whomever censored that word is responsible.

Want another scary story?

I was drinking shots one night at a party, but not too many, because I intended to burn one. Or two. Anyone who's gotten stumbling-over drunk and then ripped knows vomiting happens pretty soon after that.
A few hours later, it was time to go to bed. I was sleeping on a couch in the living room. One of my friends was on the couch adjacent to mine, with his girlfriend. I couldn't fall asleep, but laid there hoping I would eventually succumb to the alcohol and weed in my system. The couch started shaking. I heard rustling under fabric. In mere minutes, people were literally fucking on top of me.
Don't they know I'm still here?
Don't they know how loud they are?
This room is carpeted!
That's a suede couch! They'll make stains!
It was one of those situations...you know, where you have no mouth but must scream.

 

@Gross Your luckly that you did not get the stains on you.

@Jojobobo I do not know. Everything could have happened then. Perhaps I ripped the clothes of my girlfriend then or something.

 

You misspelled raped. Hey, she was tipsy, you blacked out, somewhere some wires got crossed and she forgot to punch you in the balls and run away.

 

Gross, a little bit of folk wisdom for your next bender:

Weed then beer?
You're in the clear!

Beer then weed?
You go to seed!

 

Ugh. Everyone I know who has mixed the two has had a point where vomiting is inevitable. Smoke a lot, then drink a lot = puking. A lot.
Drink a lot, then smoke a little = puking. A lot.
The key is to not do too much of either, which is something one of my friend's girlfriends never learned. She always would get really drunk, then find out weed was being smoked. She'd be like "Lemme hit that shit, bro!" And we'd say no, cause she would always puke. Eventually we'd give in, and the last time that happened, she took a rubbermaid clothes tub, took the lid off, and covered the bottom with, well...everything.

 

Well, there's an early symptom of bipolar disorder right there.

When 100% is almost too much, 200% is the minimum.

 

One time I got drunk and posted a thread right here on this forum.

 

And what a thread that was. Made me jealous, because the lack of drunken gibberish made me find it mysteriously interesting.
Did he kill somebody?
Cut a hole in his mattress and put a flesh-light in there?
Moon the damn moon and make it blush?

 

I remember that. It was really something.

 

One of my worst was going drinking while having the flu. It was cool though because my girlfriend made me go, so I made her clean the car out afterwards. That was actually the last time I ever had a shot of Jaegar.

My most recent accomplishment drunk was going to a party of a sort-of friend of mine. It was a party full of a bunch of sort-of friends of his, none of whom I had met before. Turns out, it was a "country" party and I was the only "city boy" there so it had a potential to be a whole lot of fun. After being a complete asshole all night, one of the big ugly dudes bet me $160 I couldn't make it with a "big ol' southern girl" so I set out to prove him wrong. As the night was winding down, it was discovered I had indeed made it with a "big ol' southern girl" but it happened to be big uglies girlfriend.

I ran, screaming, but in retrospect I'm pissed I didn't get my $160.

 

It's his fault, isn't it? He never set any ground rules, didn't specify who his woman was. Plus, she didn't say she was dating anybody. Sounds like neither of them actually gave half a shit.

 

I once vomited all over a girl. That was the first time I had tried moonshine. It was date-flavored. Which was rather awful, and probably the reason why I vomited since I hadn't drank that much (was still tanked though).

Edit: About mixing weed with alcohol. I have done it on several occasions (nearly every time I have gotten drunk in the past year, actually) both before and after drinking. Smoking before drinking makes me get drunk a lot harder. Smoking after drinking kind of sobers me up actually since the THC is provoking creative imagery and thought in my head. But it has never caused me to puke or even feel nauseous.

I once had an awful trip smoking after getting drunk but that probably had more to do with the reason why I was drinking that day.

 

Dates are something that I think taste OK when not in alcohol, and I've only ever eaten dry chopped up ones...not sure I'd want that flavor with a burn added to it. Still, "Date-flavored moonshine" followed by "Something that might ruin a date."
Were you trying to drink it fast, like a shot? I heard from more experienced drinkers than myself that moonshine is much better when sipped, though I'm not sure I'd be able to handle Date at all.