What the hell do I want?

Alright, so I have a crush on a girl who's dating one of my best friends. Don't worry, this isn't the psycho dating my very best friend. This girl has such a powerful effect on me, it's like she inspires me to do more, to be more. I know this crush is nothing like how my friend feels about her. He says it's like he's known her for forever. Still, she said if she wasn't currently dating someone she'd date me. Thing is, I don't know if I'd rather be the one she's dating. Would I dare impose? If I had gotten my chance and knew how my friend felt, would I change my mind?
I totally don't understand women. Weird thing is, I find a girl I can finally talk to and she's dating one of my best friends, though there was a brief window before they were dating when I could have made a move. In the back of my head, I hope she doesn't feel the same way about him. Does this make me a bad friend? I'm jealous, I admit it. But also in the back of my head, I worry she's too cool for me.

 

As I see it, you have two options:

Either you do something or you don't. Both actions could result in good or happy effects. If you think she'd be worth the eventual bad effect, then you should go for it. Worst case scenario is that you're wrong and she isn't worth the bad effects. If so, you get rid of her and apologize, if necessary, to your friend. It's as "simple" as that.

 

Bad friend? Not at all.

You care for somebody, can't really help how you feel. There's no such thing as 'too cool' for somebody. If you want to go for it then do so, you may loose a friend but gain a girlfriend. You could also just wait for them to break up and make a move then.

Weigh your choices and follow whichever path will lead you to being the happiest.

 

You said everything that needs to be said right here.

"If I wasn't dating someone else, I'd date you" is at best an off-hand, truthful comment, at worst, a kind blow-off. You admit you have a crush on her, so you're going to tend to blow stuff like this out of proportion and give it meaning that might not be there. You're around and available, so if she wanted to be with you right now, she'd be with you.

You know your friend is in love with her. If he's really your friend, let the whole thing play itself out. If she's not that into him afterall, well, you'll be there...

All I'm saying is, if he's your friend you'll give him his shot.

 

Friends should never compete for a girl, because even if one of them wins, they both lose. Your friend is dating her, be happy for him and use the feelings she gives you to go out and do more. In the end you chose your friends cause you knew they would always be there for you, don't risk it all for a girl who even if you get, may one day break your heart.

 

Buy me a plane ticket to wherever you are. Invite us both to a party. Let us get horrifically intoxicated, and hook up. Have someone "accidentally" walk in after I've finished (sorry. some priorities win over others). Shit explodes. You convince him that shit just wasn't mean to be, and be the shoulder for her to lean on. I fly home. You get your cake, and you can eat it too.

 

Well thanks for all the advice guys. I actually came to the decision that I met her for a different reason. She's more like a muse than a crush, which may be more dangerous? I don't know, I've never had a muse. I love my friend and he possibly will be able to love her. I'm happy for him, but it doesn't mean I don't want my own date when we all hang out. I went roller skating with them while I still felt pretty jealous and made myself feel like a third wheel.

 

Don't trust your feelings, because they are forever subject to change. Trust logic. If you can put your emotions aside and evaluate the situation objectively, you will see the things that your heart tells you to overlook; things like long term viability, compatibility and consequences of your actions, as well as the things about this girl you don't like but choose to overlook. Don't listen to that voice in your head that tells you that you could be happy just holding her in your arms forever, cherishing the way she looks/feels/smells because it's all a lie. Chemistry is good, but you gotta have compatibility too. Once the passion cools off, you may find yourself saying, "God she's irritating! How did I miss that before?"

Also, don't mistake the allure of the unattainable with genuine affection/attraction. We're men. We want what we can't have and we thrive on the thrill of the chase, but once we taste the forbidden fruit, we realize that it's just another piece of fruit and the magic is gone.

 

What Japes said.

 

Trust me on this, I'm compatible with this girl. But, maybe I'm not for her. She missed my friend in the time she spent away from him since the party where she met us. She thinks I'm cool, so she would date me, but she's not interested in me in the same way she's interested in my friend. I know I'll be friends with her for a long time. Hell, I'm glad to be friends with both of them.

 

To be honest, bit of a bitch to say she would date you if she wasn't with your friend. Comments like that can cause rifts between friendships.

 

I like the muse aspect. Permit her to inspire you to be more and do more and with all that you achieve because of her, attract somebody ten times better. Or at least twice better, but personally, I wouldn't accept anything less than four times better.

Do not take your friend's girl.

 

Well, it took her a while to say it. She didn't just come out and say she'd date me. I was talking about getting a girlfriend with my friend, she overheard and said "How is it possible that you don't have a girlfriend?"
I told her it's because I'm very shy and don't really know how to talk to girls, she says (and I'm paraphrasing) "But you're cool," and then she said she could tell me how but then got awkwardly silent, so my friend and I look at each other and start laughing about how she's never going to tell me, then she says, "Because I'd date you (if I wasn't dating someone else)."
She didn't say it to ruin anything, she's just very straightforward and didn't want me to feel bad I guess. She didn't do it to split my friend and me apart, she just said it to give me some self confidence.
I'm already on the fast track to success. It seems that, even with college papers I hate, I get an A. It's impossible for me to do poorly in school, so all that happens is my confidence builds from assignment to assignment. Eventually I'll ask someone on a date.

 

Just not your friend's girlfriend.

 

Obviously, ask out your prof.

 

Funny thing is, my english professor is my age and very attractive.

 

English professor, eh?

...

"I'd correct her grammar."

 

A cunnilingus pun would have been better.

 

Just replace correct with lick and grammar with vagina, and it's good enough.
Read it the same way. Or "I'd read between the lines."