Playing a retard- brilliant dialogue/journal entries

Hmmm, what would a banner ad do...
oints in a random direction:
Why, there of course!
:runs for it when rroyo turns to look at the said direction:

 

HEY!!!!

 

I heard if you look in a mirror in the bathroom and recite "Elizabeth Báthory" three times she appears and begins to read the entire twilight series to you.

 

rroyo gets points for the Fight Club reference.

 

*twitch* That shit ain't funny. Apologize or I'll get Puppy to bury you again.

 

Well if I am going to be buried I have one request, don't summon her and make it a private hell for me whilst being buried and forced to listen.

 

I'm afraid I disagree, that was funny as hell. I'll unbury him myself if Puppy plans to fulfill his duty.

What's with the burial frenzy anyway? These days I have to carry a shovel with me all the time just in case.

...but on the other hand, I would use Zanza's idea of burying him with a Twilight reading countess and observe the degree of psychical damage done per second, in the name of science.

 

I thought I'd go for a kinder, gentler death and bury him with the girls from "The View".

 

Ha ha the view, we get that around mid day in Australia and I have to say, whoppi is the only intelligent one of them, which isn't saying much.

 

Whoopi Goldberg? Intelligent? Only intelligent thing she ever did was take the role of Guinan on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Have you SEEN some of her movies? *shakes her head at sheer naivety on display*

 

Sister Act was probably one of the greatest dramas of our generations.

 

That would be a terrible, terrible way to do.

Sister Act =/= to good quality film.

 

Sister Act is not a good film or a quality film. What it IS is a fun film.

 

Surprisingly enough my moron can do , or at least interact with about 80% of the quests. Some of them have no choice whatsoever, like for example when I find P.Scooper and Tons (My chars way of pronouncing P.Schuyler) Magnus simply tells me to go off and play and when I go into the office all I can do is kill the clerk (or whatever he is). Afterwards I go down and meet the Schuylers but they attack me the moment they realize I am a tard.

Also each time the story progresses my char calls Virgil something new when asking what should we do now? Before meeting Bates he even yells, Virgil my name is VIRRRRRRRRGIL!!!!!!! He's also commenting a lot on how the Living one is back and needs a nanny.

Anyways, I could do the quest for the fortune teller and all the nobles, I also somehow told my story to the newspaper through grunts and about 10 words . I did work for Appleby but decided not to frame Bates for now because the jerk off only pays 50 gold for Bate's book. Surprisingly Maug paid me full money to do all his dirty work even though he knew I was an exploitable tard. It seems like evil characters are more willing to treat me well than good ones, odd... I guess ill have to be evil! Oh yeah also the quest where I went to the Elven ruins, well I told the dark elves about "Pretty Bone" right away since my tard knows no secrecy. Is there anything I could do with the Elven tombstone I found? I think Miss "Pretty Bone" is dead.

 

You could become a master thrower and kill people with throwing a goddamn tombstone at them. How awesome would that be?



...huh? Not interested? Well there's nothing else, so all you folks can very well go home now. Shoo shoo, off you go.

 

That sounds like something my char would actually do....

 

Already done by Naughty Dog, think she completed the game too.

Where has she gone by the way?

 

I went to see if the tombstone maker would want to buy it off of me, he had some extremely similar tombstones for show, in fact they seemed to look exactly the same. So much for being unique. Anyways I will have to think of a good place to leave it then.

 

I'm wondering. When you first get the tombstone quest she says that Mrs. Willoughsby(?) wants it too or something. So, when i bring that first woman the stone and tell her Mrs. Will... will be happy to get it and she gets mad, is there acctualy a way to find this Mrs. Will(woman of persuasion master?) . Thankys !!

 

Judging by that fact alone, I guess the Dark Elves have finally got her. We could ask DE if he knows anything about it.

Now to think of it, I seem to recall killing the tombstone maker with the elven tombstone as a hilarious way to "solve" the quest in my evil game. I had no throw skill so it took a while, but when finally done, he already had a tombstone on his dead body. It nicely fitted the background, and most propably - judging by its weight - cut the dead body in two. Sheer fun.

Mrs Willoughsby is quite famous among the tarantian elites (we can read about some of her eccentric ideas in the Tarantian), but she never appears in the game as a NPC.