The Chuck Norris paradox

I was reading some article on Uncyclopedia, and I came accross the Chuck Norris Paradox. It highlights the undecideable question: if two Chuck Norris fights, which will win? I searched Wikipedia too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Se ... is_paradox

 

It's easy. Chuck Norris would win, albeit with most of the world and civilization destroyed in the process. However, being the man we all know him to be, Chuck Norris would simply will those parts back into their full splendor, and it would be so.
And, you know what? He would never challenge himself to a fight. He'd win simply by not participating. You can't lose something you never do.

 

If you have to resort to violence, you've already lost. Therefore, Norris would not fight Norris.

Of course, if they teamed up then this might happen....

 

Geez you guys still going on with the Chuck Norris jokes? Luckily they have died here. :lol:

 

Excuse me, but if there all suddenly was two Chuck Norris in our plane of existance at the same time, the very foundations of the universe would disintegrate because of the ultimate level of awesomeness.
That fight can't take place, because there can only be one Chuck Norris at a time. The universe can't handle more than that.

 

If Chuck Norris then went and fought a thouroghly ressurrected Bruce again, this time with his other self. Would Chuck Norris be able to win this time? Only his Ab-master knows

 

When Chuck fought Bruce, they had to drug him with 14 times the deadly dose of morphine for an elephant, to make it look as if the fight was even.
The credits list in the end of all his films are in fact losses and causulties (bad spelling, I think).

 

Thats just what they want you to think!

 

Impossible. The laws of physics doesn't allow Chuck Norris to be killed by any other man than Chuck Norris himself, and since that's impossible, he can't die. Case closed.(^^)

 

I SAID "case closed". Didn't I?

 

You did, but then you said "(^^)" which makes you untrustworthy.

 

I think that was more of an "I know I'm right" smirk, rather than a "Tee hee" smirk.
Whatever the case, if there was ever a situation in which Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris fought, Bronson could win if Norris was blind and quadropalegic, and if Bronson happened to have a gun. Norris would win if he sneezed or farted. Either of the latter would involve everything within the viscinity of 100 square miles being immolated and turned into paradise by the grace of Chuck.

 

A bet on Bronson, if we wins, is...hmmm.
Alright, Chuck blind in both eyes, no use of any limbs...I'd say Bronson's got a 1000 in 1. (you know, for all the things that may make Chuck fart or sneeze)
Otherwise, if Bronson won, and Chuck was at his peak (which is always), a bet of 1 American dollar would net a win that could never be payed. Basically, you'd be so rich that you'd own everything by default.

 

Or, the universe would implode because of the sudden loss of awesomenes that comes with the loss of Chuck. The fabric of the universe couldn't possibly handle that.
The universe would get depressed and kill itself. Instantly.

(Whow. Imagine a EMO universe.)

 

I haved imagined an EMO universe, it's called Warped Tour.

 

Don't know about that, Chuck's a tough mother-fucker. We almost fought once, but then we decided to go have a beer and talk out or differences, rather than risk the destruction of all civilization.