One Liners

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
- Woody Allen

 

"Your momma's so fat that when she breaks wind, it doesn't fix itself for a week."

 

"668: The Neighbour of the Beast."

 

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."
- Groucho Marx

 

"Your momma's so fat that when she sits around the house, she actually sits AROUND the house."

 

Some one line questions I've thought up or heard:

"If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it homeless or naked?"

"Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor if you can't drink and drive?"

"If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?"

"If you tie butered toast to the back of a cat and drop it, does it land sideways?

"What color do smurfs turn when you joke them?"

"What was the best thing before sliced bread?"

"Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?"

"Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?"

 

"You guys are bitches, and you can't touch my biscuits."

 

"The driver knew the bus was taller, but he thought: maybe"
"Stupidity spreads faster than anything, including light"
"Milo wrote: For the love of God, do not sexualize SPAM. It's one of the only pure and wholesome things left in this sick, cruel world."
"Hard work paybacks later. Laziness immediately."
"We would change the world, but God won't give us the sourcecode..."
"The length of the moment depends on which side the toilet you are"
"There are no major breakthroughs at any fields of technology since the '60s"

Some Chuck Norris facts:
"Chuck Norris knows the internet by head"
"Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi"
"When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he always checks under his bed for Chuck Norris"
"Chuck Norris is the only one who beat a brickwall in tennis"
"Chuck Norris is the real father of Luke Skywalker"
"The game has the system requirements like Doom III and Chuck Norris together."

Nerd things:
"Microsoft Virtual PC 2004 does not support 24-bpp color depth"
"May the FOURCC be with you..."
"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

 

"All of those sucked."

 

"No."

 

"Abandon all hope, you who enter here!"
-Dante Alighieri

 

"Well I try to think but nothin' happens!"
- Jerome "Curley" Howard

 

"Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous if you have to tell everyone your name?"
-Me

 

Nothing human have serious value.
- Plato
Good friends, good books and sleeping conscience - it's ideal life.
- Mark T
My life exp showed me that people having no drawbacks have no dignities.
-Abraham Linkoln
Existance of beers proves that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-Benjamin Franklin

 

"Over the hills and far away"
-Gary Moore

 

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.
- Paul Valery

 

It's kind of weird how noone calls special people retarded, but everyone calls retarded people special.
-Me, i think

 

"It's dumbfounding how many stupid people hold high-ranking executive positions despite them not having the proper qualifications or credentials."

"I wonder how worn their kneepads are and if they wear flannel boxers to keep their ankles warm."

-Me on my career life so far.

 

"The internet's for porn"
- Avenue Q

and

"I lewt teh hat!"
- Lowping