Some Hell, a sprinkle of chance and possibly a snowball.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dark Elf, May 23, 2005.

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  1. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    The following is *supposedly* an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question:

    Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
     
  2. mrnobodie

    mrnobodie New Member

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    Funny, but I'd like to see some proof this Theresa actually exists.
     
  3. DarkFool

    DarkFool Nemesis of the Ancients

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    We should question her! Nobodie's nipples will be rubbed against her face until either she orgasms (at which point we do it again) or she confesses what really happened!
     
  4. floyd

    floyd New Member

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    Damn, that's funny. And highly original as well. That's a well-deserved A, imo.
     
  5. Quaid

    Quaid Member

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    What if neither of those comes to pass but instead she violently throws up?
     
  6. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Oh, she's got to be emptied at one point or another...
     
  7. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    Nice answer, well deserved A indeed.
     
  8. mathboy

    mathboy New Member

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    Good answer, you deserve the 3rd A in this thread Xzbyte.
     
  9. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    And you deserve things that I won't list here cause I'd be abnned for flaming.
     
  10. mrnobodie

    mrnobodie New Member

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    No go ahead, you should be pretty safe from being abnned.
     
  11. Quaid

    Quaid Member

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    pionting out poeples tpyos is chdilish and jeuvanile!
     
  12. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    Meh, Who cares? Just showes how desperate he is to have something stuck up his ass. Am I not correct Nobodie?
     
  13. Master Guru Vlugh

    Master Guru Vlugh New Member

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    Nobodie? Desperate for anal sex? I could have never imagined....
     
  14. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    I also belive that this something belonges to Retard. :)
     
  15. mrnobodie

    mrnobodie New Member

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    My ass is like a seafood buffet, there for the taking to whoever has the biggest appetite and fastest hands.
     
  16. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    That gives me a rather disturbing mental picture.
     
  17. RPjunkie

    RPjunkie New Member

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    Very original answer with one part smartass and a dash of sarcasm. It was written in very correct scientific form as well. Gave evidence, looked at facts, formed hypothesis, made varying outcome predictions, and summed with a conclusion(which was the best part-imo). Truly a well deserved A.
     
  18. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    That figures. All sorts of disease in those buffets...
     
  19. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    Legionella? Salmonella?
     
  20. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Not really, though I'm very sure it has passed those.
     
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