What secret, Santa?

Yes, haven't posted in a while. Read quite a bit actually. Okay, now you're up to speed on that topic.

So my aunty who has newly moved here with her family decides to hold a Secret Santa for our family Christmas function this year. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, the idea is that every person participating draws a name out of a hat, and you become their Secret Santa, buying them a present under a predetermined price and leaving it under the tree for them to find and unwrap together as a group. It works particularly well with close-knit organisations or work colleagues, as it increases moral thanks to the gossip and banter about the gifts and such.

You can see why it would be inappropriate for family functions. The idea is to buy a quirky but cheap gift for someone you may or may not know well, and that person has every right to wonder about their Secret Santa and the significance of the gift that was given.

As a back story, we recently adopted a rather abused dog from another set of relatives (in the same family function). I say abused because her first owner basically taught her to enjoy attacking other dogs, and she is completely disobedient when off the lead (and therefore a danger to other animals and people). She also has never had a proper 'dog's life' - being part of the 'pack', whether it be finding scraps at a house party or being cuddled and comforted during a storm. This set of relatives were her third or fourth owners, and passed her to us because they forgot that their new apartment wouldn't be able to hold a fully-grown golden retriever.

Back to the Secret Santa event. The kids and most of the adults get the usual assortment of Secret Santa things - coffee table books, chocolates, random little accessories like tea-lights and torches.

My mother gets a two-kilo doggy bone.

My mother still doesn't know what to think of it. Why would you give someone a gift that was clearly meant for a pet? Is my mother supposed to give it to the dog? What was the message behind implying that she was the recipient of this doggy bone?

The only clue we have is that it is not the work of the matriarch of the family - she was completely against the idea of a family Secret Santa from the start, and refused to participate.

Was it from the previous owners of our dog? Was it from the socially inept aunt that gives inappropriate gifts anyway? Was it from the organiser of the Secret Santa, who really didn't understand the concept to begin with? Did someone give this to my mother as an implication of one of OUR family members - namely me, because I have a great potential to bring shame among the family. If it was indeed a joke, it was a nasty one. If it was meant for the dog, my mother was not on the Secret Santa's mind.

Tomorrow she's going to be wondering about this, and I know it's going to bother her until the end of the year. Please help me help her - if anyone is going to make her laugh, it would be one of you guys.

 

Oh my gods, It's Piper.

 

Well, I can't speak to cheering up your mum, but if I know people, it was a gift from the old owners of the dog and it wasn't a hint or an insult, but merely a present for the dog, out of either guilt or simply affection.

Luckily for me, I opted out of tradition long ago and nothing is expected of me. I did, however, choose to drive 300km through the rainy night to spend xmas with my sister's dog rather than leave him alone for two days.

Humans are crazy, and dogs are the best people.

 

Clearly someone knows your mother better than you do.

 

My first thought when reading your theorizing about all the possible implications of the gift was "You're over thinking it." The most likely scenario is that the gift giver couldn't think of anything that your mother would particularly like, so got her something to give to the dog instead. They are only guilty of a lack of imagination, and perhaps they thought it would be a nice way for your mother to bond with the dog.

 

Overthinking stuff. How to fuck yourself while shooting yourself in the foot.

 

If Wobbler is meaning what I think he is meaning, just advise your mother to forget about the bone altogether.

 

Golden retrievers live to eat, shit, and nuzzle very happily at your crotch. Anyone who can break a dog of that deserves to be horribly beaten with a two kilo doggy bone. Which brings me to our next part:

I would guess that either this was ordered for the purpose above, or they knew that your mother had run dry of her supply of batteries, and decided to 'throw her a bone' if you catch my drift.

Merry Christmas.

 

Wobbler: Why hello, everyone!

Mum's still rather hurt that she missed out on a present because the present was for the dog. I'm pretty sure she'll bring up the subject again next Christmas.

Tomorrow is opening presents day!

 

Norwegians are the smartest Christmas'ers ever. There's no way you're going to have trouble getting an eight year old to sit and eat his whole Christmas Dinner if he doesn't get his presents until after everybody's done.

 

Opening presents on the 24th is the rule. 25th is the bizarre aberration.

 

You open on the Eve? That's deranged.

 

Considering Armenian Christians celebrate the holiday on January 6th, I'd say a day's deviation is fine.

 

My family opens on both days. My mother's family gets together on the 24th for dinner and presents. The kids getting gifts and everyone 18 and older participating in a Yankee Swap.

For those unfamiliar with a yankee swap it is similar to a secret santa with the predetermined spending limit (usually $10-20) then everyone picks a number out of a hat (or whatever you want to use to pull numbers from). Each number opens a present in order and then has a choice of either keeping the present or swapping it for one already opened. After the last person opens their present and chooses to keep or swap, it goes back to number one to get their chance to keep or swap. People can wind up with some very odd gifts this way, but it is always fun.


One the 25th it is just immediate family opening gifts together.

 

Point made.

Well, if you kill me, at least I won't have to delete the spam threads anymore, and you'll get to do it again.

This is how we do it, actually. I usually open gifts the 23-25 or 24-26th, depending on how the holidays fall.