You're all gonna die!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh that name brings back so many good memories.

 

You mean my General in charge of the Doom-Guard... uh, I mean this amazon vixen?

 

Oh my god isn't that sex on a spoon.

 

... l like that line. You may live.

If you didn't know Gabriel wore the pants before her hair cut you're stupid. Granted that she did have that innocent act going on, but Xena was always like the big, burling workman who goes out everyday, acts tough, handles the business, and comes home to her woman. Her woman is in charge though, and damn if Xena don't go to bed tired each night.

 

If they had a big, burly work-woman playing Xena, noone would watch.
I mean, they'd probably dress someone like that up as a guy, and then there'd be some weird

episodes or scenes...you know, because they'd have Gabriel obviously falling for this ambiguous hero (ine).
But they'd never call Xena by name until this happened. For a little while, until the awkward moment, the viewers would think Xena was either the town or some as of yet unrevealed female character.
Anyway, Yeah. Gabriel was the man at night.
Callisto was my favorite character. She looks kindof like Halle Berry, only white.
And I think Halle Berry is damn hot.

 

That's where you're wrong. It's be more like, "Where's my breakfast Bitch?." When she came home it'd be like "Where the fuck have you been, who gave you permission to leave?," and "Pass the sugar Bitch!"

 

Would you say that before or after she chopped your head off with a claymore?

*splat! Head rolls on floor... *

I've seen it before, its not a pretty sight.

 

I would take her and she would like it.

 

Most strong women like men who can take them. It reinforces traditional gender roles on them, whereas they are normally unable to experience such things, since most men are mewling pussies.

 

Hahahahahhaa! Fools! Ignorant blind eyed Morons! While your all off atempting to survive on the remains of EARTH or Better yet The pile of rust and Dust MARS I mean what exactly do you expect to find in a desert of a planet the pedates earth?! All the while I've landed on VENUS! I have adapted to the immeasurable pressures that would kill any mortal being Amazon lesbien or otherwise! There I have pumped the poisonous sulfer fumes back at your pathetically destroyed planets! And are currently in the phase of turning the rich planets life blood into a mighty citadel that span the entire size and depth of the planet. There we shall fine a rare element with untapped Unimaginable DESTUCTION! This'll make The PHOBOS meteor AND All the nuclear weaponry on earth AND the orginal impacting comet that led it to its original state LOOK LIKE A FART BEING LIT BY A MATCH! After wards research will go into eliminating this univerese ending the afterlife being that there is no fore life for the former to be manifested! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAA! Soon ALL YOUR BASES ARE BELONG TO US! and theres not a prayer or large mechanicle hand that'll yank you out of it all? Not even the very metal and that I designed flawlessly that would prevent this from happening?

Lesbians? I'm on VENUS DUH! The planets swarming with them. And Being that I'm the only male, pschologically that makes me the dominant figure. So lots of lesbians and of bisexual ones too. And there all HOT so there!

 

BAHH! Filthy false-pretender, be gone with you! Your deranged blather is no match for my finely crafted plans of World-dominaton.

I spit in your general direction.

Perhaps you will notice (?) that Phobos missed Earth due to an engineer's mathematical error? But even his foul incompetence pales next to your oblivious freakishness. That would explain why you haven't noticed that you're surrounded by beautiful Amazon assassins, waiting patiently to stab you in the back.... All I need to do it press this shiny RED button....

*click* Oh, did I press that?

 

Assasins?! Aye they WERE Assasins. However when they realised that MY planet was better they turned to my planet! Thanks for the sexy assasins!
But now I'm off to fight aliens on a far away planet!

 

Yes, those evil turncoat amazons, who'd have ever guessed they'd be so easily turned.... *whistles malevolently*

 

Dammit Maximus, why'ld you send them to Venus? I was going to scrap that planet during the course of my next few experiment. Now I have to contemplate sparing amazonian assassins... Maybe I'll just fuck up Mercury, no one ever liked it anyway.

 

What, you have something messier? By all means....

They'll be on the next shuttle outta there, no use wasting wicked vixens for ogatai. I prefer messy to clean and efficient, but sometimes it must be done.

 

So sorry folks but the inevitable research is almost complete SOON this entire universe and everything in it will be Obliterated. It'll just talk 10-20 minutes on high and I misplaced my microwave. But when I find it! Bwahahahahahaahahahahahaha!