Who Needs a Pick-Up Line?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Grossenschwamm, Jan 8, 2013.

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  1. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    Rules of Engagement:

    Any pick up lines you know or come up with should go here.

    Cheesy, ballsy, smooth...any.

    I'll start off with the one I told my wife over a decade ago -

    Is that a shovel in your pants? Cause I really dig that ass.
     
  2. Yuki

    Yuki Well-Known Member

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    Hey I'm looking for treasure, can I look around your chest?
     
  3. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    I think people often forget the charm of simple and elegant flattery. As such I go for:

    Hey dollface, nice jugs.
     
  4. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    How much does a polar bear weigh?

    Enough to break the ice.
     
  5. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    If I ever get a PhD, a good line would be:

    Hey girly, I've got a PhD. I've also got a doctorate.

    I'd follow this with a classy lick to the ear.
     
  6. Yuki

    Yuki Well-Known Member

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    If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?
     
  7. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    Did you fall from heaven?

    Because have sex with me.
     
  8. Smuel

    Smuel Well-Known Member

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    Excuse me, does this penis look big to you?
     
  9. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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  10. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    Hey lady, your hair smells nice... when you're sleeping.
     
  11. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    If you were a child I would pretty quickly find myself on the sex offenders’ register. And if you were dead, well…

    Do you know the exact distance from the edge of your lips to a couple of inches down your throat? I was hoping you could help me measure something later.

    I’ve got an ice pick in my coat pocket. Don’t worry, I’m not a sex murderer, I just find it’s the perfect ice breaker.
     
  12. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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    Hey girl. How fast can you take your clothes off?
     
  13. Yuki

    Yuki Well-Known Member

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    Hey, I'm writing a phone book, can I have your number?
     
  14. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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  15. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    Hey, why don't you come to my place and pet my ball python? Then I'll let you meet my snake.
     
  16. Jojobobo

    Jojobobo Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, could you please undress? Clothing makes me nervous.
     
  17. GrimmHatter

    GrimmHatter Active Member

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    Hi. My girlfriend's dead. Yeah, she fell off a cliff and died on impact.
     
  18. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    Are you a football fan? Because, you just gave me a Steeler.
     
  19. Arthgon

    Arthgon Well-Known Member

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  20. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    You're in luck, lady. If I was an improbably named Chilean, I'd be Manuel Stimulacion.
     
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