who needs a laugh

I often think of myself as a closet paedophile.

Though touching kids in a cellar is equally as good.

 

What happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder?





He got a little behind in his work.

 

What do they call The Hunger Games in France?

Battle Royale with Cheese.

 

Q: What is yellow, flies against a tree, drop dead on the ground and the flies away?

A: A Reincarnary

 

Knock knock
Who's there?
Deez
Deez who?
Deez fools who thought I was gonna say 'Deez nuts'

 

The "Man" says I'm not allowed inside a certain number of feet when it comes to children.

Personally I think I should be allowed to use my Fantastic Voyage-style submersible however I damn well please!

 

And because that joke was a bit clean, here's another:

People on my street accused me of being a paedophile, but I showed them!

Which is why I was charged with child sexual assault AND distributing indecent images.

 

Some of my socks are getting quite old, and are starting to wear out.

I think they're on their last legs.

 

Another Jojobobo special:

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As my wife was nearing the end of labour, I knew it was time. I bust out my CD player, and started 2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls.

"2 Become 1?" quizzed the midwife. "Isn't birth more when one becomes two?"

"No my dear," I replied. "I'm referring to her vagina and asshole."

 

"I love me some Shittake! My wife did it last night, fucking incredible!"

"Agreed, it is one tasty mushroom."

"Mushroom? No, dude, it's a portmanteau..."

 

Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance? The meat ball.

 

It's not fair that more sympathy is given to people with breast cancer than people with testicular cancer. I'm actually a testicular cancer survivor myself, but whenever I try to tell people how harrowing the experience was, I get told to shut up and grow a pair.

In memory of Jojobobo, forum member May 2011 to Sep 2020.