who needs a laugh

What's the difference between a circus and a showgirl chorus line?

The circus is a cunning array of stunts.

 

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?


-One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder. The other's a fish.

 

No! Of course we never noticed... sheesh man.

 

Your family must be really stupid and miseducated then... That joke is old as the world itself... Also I did notice a pattern of stupid people not knowing it.

 

Here's one:

It's an email I got...

 

It says - x in there... is that a negative X?..

 

Damn, that's a funny show. I should watch it more often...

 

Hey Jack catch the axe! Jack? Jack!

 

Ioo green is not a flattering color on you

 

Does Dick stand up when Bush enters the room? Does he show any signs of wanting to get closer to Colon?

 

Actually Dick has been in an undisclosed, secure location for so long I think he has forgotten what Bush looks like.

 

I think that jokes thread are getting old...

And, dogs, I look good in any color! Except blue

 

Ahhhh youth...maybe I am the green eyed monster

 

bush, dick and colon..... that's pretty funny.


Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.
They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face.
Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Clinton's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge.
They begin talking and Bill presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Clinton snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Clinton roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Clinton falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.
"Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"
Clinton says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"

 

Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship. Everyone drowned, and soon they were standing before St. Peter.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly, and said, "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."
Then came the second straight guy and his wife. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"
The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."

*edit* sorry about the double post
_________________
people are idiots!

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: mrnobodie on 2002-03-03 11:02 ]</font>

 

What do you do if you see President Bush with half of his face blown of is running towards you screaming.

Answer: You stop laughing and reloads your shotgun.




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Qilikatal on 2002-03-04 06:00 ]</font>

 

That's a variation on an ancient joke here, to do with indigenous people...it's funny the first time around...

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: Half a worm.

I know it's lame...