who needs a laugh

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by mrnobodie, Dec 15, 2001.

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  1. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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  2. Sleek_Jeek

    Sleek_Jeek New Member

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    thank you for your kind support.

    Whats the easiest way to catch a squirrel?
    Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

    What did the fireman say to his earlobe?
    Watch that!

    Whats the difference between a filthy possum and a filthy pussy?
    Moisture.

    When do the cows actually ever come home?
    They have no home to go to! LOL

    If a seagull flies over the sea, then what flies over your mom?

    Your mom is so stupid she didn't get an abortion.

    now watch this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Nh2BYvK7_8
     
  3. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    Your mom is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
     
  4. Dark Elf

    Dark Elf Administrator Staff Member

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    Your mom's so fat we decided to live on her and call her Mother Earth.
     
  5. Telcontar

    Telcontar Well-Known Member

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    Yo momma's sp fat she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her
     
  6. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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  7. rroyo

    rroyo Active Member

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  8. Sleek_Jeek

    Sleek_Jeek New Member

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    Great post. try hosting it at http://www.photobucket.com
    OHHHHH SNAP!

    Your mom is so hungry and starving you can see her rib cage pushing through her skin and her bowels are all bloated and distended. Like some kind of refugee or something. Damn that sucks.

    When your mom goes to the pharmacist they run out of revlon products.

    Last week I saw your mom eat a tuna sandwich. But there was no tuna in it. Only mayonaise and pickle relish.

    Your mom is not american.
     
  9. Jungle Japes

    Jungle Japes Well-Known Member

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    I don't know why that tuna sandwick joke is so funny, but I'm still laughing.

    What did the hand say to the face?

    SLAP!

    How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    I don't know I GIVE UP!!!
     
  10. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
    One was the first to walk on the moon and the other fucks little boys up the ass.
     
  11. Telcontar

    Telcontar Well-Known Member

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    Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist?
    A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

    Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
    A. Wiped his ass.

    Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
    A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

    Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
    A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
     
  12. Ditched Rosselli

    Ditched Rosselli New Member

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    Guy walks into a bar, and he sees a sign that says - "50 beers."
    He says to the bartender, "Is that the record?"
    "Yup."
    "I'll beat that." Guy drinks 55 beers and goes home. The next night, he's back at the bar again. Now the sign says "55 beers."
    "Hey, you wanna beat your record again?" the bartender asks.
    "I don't think so, chief. Last night I went home a blew chunks."
    "Ah, that happens to everyone."
    "No, you don't get it. Chunks is my dog."

    This is the funniest video ever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfilLgPB5Sk
    DON'T BREAK MY CAR WINDOW AND STEAL MY iPOD, SPARKLING WIGGLES!
     
  13. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

    "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."

    And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.

    Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

    "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.

    Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on its head."
     
  14. mathboy

    mathboy New Member

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    For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

    "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."

    And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.

    Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

    "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.

    Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on its head."
     
  15. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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    Uh, what's with posting that joke three times?

    Your mom is so dumb that.. uh....
     
  16. RPjunkie

    RPjunkie New Member

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    Rosselli....thanx for posting a joke that i posted LONG ago, and thanx for fucking it up too!



    What's the difference between a buffalo and a squaw?

    About 40 lbs & a bingo jacket!
     
  17. Grossenschwamm

    Grossenschwamm Well-Known Member

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    I knew I had seen it in this thread before Bree posted it.

    How can you tell Bin Laden from his mother?
    His mother's beard is real.
     
  18. Telcontar

    Telcontar Well-Known Member

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    Q: What's good on a pizza, but bad on a pussy?
    A: Crust.

    Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
    A. A battery has a positive side.

    Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
    A. You know she'll swallow.

    Q. What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
    A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling
     
  19. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    An inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the following morning. One of the prison guards asked the inmate if he wanted something special for his last meal. The inmate declined the offer.

    Later, the prison guard asked the inmate if there was something special he wanted to do on his final day. Again, the inmate declined the offer.

    The following morning, as the inmate was being put before the firing squad, the guard asked him if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold. "No," the inmate said, "just get it over with." "Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" asked the guard.

    The inmate thought for a moment, then replied, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favourite song, from beginning to end, without any interruptions."

    The guard nodded and agreed. "Go ahead," said the guard.

    The inmate started, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..."
     
  20. Xz

    Xz Monkey Admin Staff Member

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