When preparing for battle, remember about your chainmail...

...chess!

No, really.

 

"...for when you want to play chess and work at the local butcher shop at the same time!!"

 

Well, I know who's never getting laid for the rest of their life.

 

That would be me.

 

I can think of a thousand women who would have sex with a guy who had the dexterity and skill stored in his fingers to loop together endless amounts of chain links into a chess board and pieces, and a thousand men who wouldn't have sex with a person who makes up stories about an alchemist who has adventures with her fantasy friends in a magical world full of fairies and demons.

 

Gosh, I just love the many and varied assumptions made here, Grak. No, really, everyone knows that foolish assumptions made by people with less brains than the average nematode are so incredibly sexy. *rolls eyes* Did it ever occur to you that the reason I'm single has something to do with these little things I like to call 'standards'?

And I'd like to meet these thousand women of yours, just for proof that you've even met 1,000 women in your entire life who wouldn't murder you for your complete lack of tact.

(P.S. Fairies and demons? Please, give me some fucking credit, I have standards! Humans only, thank you very much. Elves and their kith can go fuck themselves with a rusty chainsaw.)

 

Must've hit pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that.

 

I don't think I'm one of those thousand men, though I'd fuck pretty much any girl that rates a 7 or higher to me. Though not that dexterous in my fingers I make up for it with a vibrating tongue ring.

 

Do you actually have a tongue ring? You didn't seem the type, though that might be because I always imagine you as being a gnoll (or furry) with the face of the dog in your avvy.

 

Yes I do have a tongue ring.

Do I look like a furry? no. Gnoll... only if I haven't shaved in the past week or two.

Actually, a large portion of my customers say I look like Russell Crowe (I work for a movie rental store), and while I don't see it myself, I get told it enough on a daily basis it must be true. So maybe that means I look like a dingo?

 

When I was younger, I was compared to Gerald McRaney by several people.

When I grew a full beard and let it get bushy, I was compared to Dan Haggerty.

Now I'm compared to a fat, old, bald guy.

Go figure.

 

Younger or older a beautiful mind Crowe?

 

Wow, I really hit the roof. Lesson to self - do not post before being awake for at least half an hour.

Having said which... faeries and mother-fucking demons? Shit no, not since my desperate 'I'll use anything' first-attempt NaNoWriMo effort. Oh, that was soooooo bad...

 

And what's wrong with the Fey?